My students are talking too much in class. How should I deal with them?

KSMarksPsych,

Duct tape their mouths shut and tie their wrists behind their backs then secure their tied wrists to their desk chairs... Then you will have a well behaved, and quiet classroom... ;-D 8-D

A rather large alligator is swimming around my boat, but it's a hot day and I really want to swim. Any suggestions?

Put Tracey Enemin, the artist, in the pool to attract the alligator. While she is being sorted out by the reptile you can safely have a swim.

The positive side is that when you have finished, you can fish Tracey out and bring her to the UK as an entry for the Turner Prize. If you win the art (Tracey) goes on exhibition in the Tate Modern for months and you collect a £20,000 prize (about $37,800).


I have some pet Amazon Pirahnna fish in my bath, near the toilet, and I am desperate for a crap.What should I do?

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It's good to be back amongst friends and colleagues

A rather large alligator is swimming around my boat, but it's a hot day and I really want to swim. Any suggestions?

Octagon,

If your boat has a motor:

1.) Make sure that the motor is out of the water.
2.) Attach a wire to the #1 Spark plug.
(If there is only 1 Plug, then just attach the wire to that.)
3.) Strip the other end of the wire so that some of the metal is exposed.
4.) Start the motor, again keeping it out of the water.
5.) When you see the gator near your boat, drop the exposed end of the wire
into the water and let your motor run for 30 seconds or so...
6.) When the gator stops moving, turn off your motor and pull the wire out of
the water and remove the other end from your spark plug.
7.) Swim care free... ;-D 8-D

Does this work???


but you should have mentioned that you had these cattle prods... That makes things even easier!

1.) Wait for gator to come close to boat.
2.) Wearing an insulated glove and with cattle prod on,
dip the "business end" of the cattle prod into the water.
3.) Your new pet gator, now stunned, is safe to be around...
4.) Remove cattle prod from water.
5.) Have yourself a good swim...

8-D

I have some pet Amazon Pirahnna fish in my bath, near the toilet, and I am desperate for a crap.What should I do?

John,

Get a cattle prod from Octagon and a well insulated glove:

1.) Wearing the well insulated glove, turn on the cattle prod.
2.) Dip the "business end" of the cattle prod into the tub.
3.) Remove cattle prod from water.
4.) Take care of "your business"
5.) If those fish are strong, they should come out of their little daze soon...

Yes?

8-D

@TimeLord04... your solutions are just too reasonable :-)

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No animals were harmed in the making of the above post... much.

@TimeLord04... your solutions are just too reasonable :-)

THIS IS REASONABLE????? ;-D
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My Pug needs a bath...what should i do?

Mike,

Drop him into the aforementioned Acid Pool over at Chris-(/Chris 2/ID: 8401595)'s place... That is guaranteed to remove all fleas, ticks, matted fur, and just about everything else - including bad breath... ;-D

8-D

LOL...


My neighbor sells drugs...what should I do?

Mike,

Drop your neighbor into the aforementioned Acid Pool over at Chris-(/Chris 2/ID: 8401595)'s place... (LOL is this getting really really old now, or what???)

Keep the drugs for yourself, (if you're into that sortof thing...), or drop the drugs in with your neighbor... Maybe the drugs will help numb the pain of the pool... (Again, is this Acid Bath thing getting too old now, or what???)

LOL

=====================================================

Again, reasonable??? ;-D

8-D

@TimeLord04... your solutions are just too reasonable :-)

I have always thought the advice here was very very reasonable and applicable.

... and I twitch and dribble a lot due to my poor child upbringing, as I shuffle along on my club foot and cry in to the dark castle rooms ... "Master! Where are you Master! The light has gone, Master!".

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It's good to be back amongst friends and colleagues

@TimeLord04... your solutions are just too reasonable :-)

I have always thought the advice here was very very reasonable and applicable.

... and I twitch and dribble a lot due to my poor child upbringing, as I shuffle along on my club foot and cry in to the dark castle rooms ... "Master! Where are you Master! The light has gone, Master!".

D'Oh, ROTFLMAO ;-D 8-D

i'm wondering, should i be evil, daring and rather stupid by subscribing to the "last to post here wins" thread and see how long it takes to crash my ISPs mail server :p

mwahahahahahaahaahaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ahem, so just wanted to know what you wise people think :p

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i'm wondering, should i be evil, daring and rather stupid by subscribing to the "last to post here wins" thread and see how long it takes to crash my ISPs mail server :p

mwahahahahahaahaahaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ahem, so just wanted to know what you wise people think :p

I say do it! And, be sure to tell everyone to post as much as they can, tell em its another contest, to see if your ISP will shut down its mail! :-)

I don't want to work tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, since its all overtime, what should I do?

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i'm wondering, should i be evil, daring and rather stupid by subscribing to the "last to post here wins" thread and see how long it takes to crash my ISPs mail server :p

mwahahahahahaahaahaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ahem, so just wanted to know what you wise people think :p

I say do it! And, be sure to tell everyone to post as much as they can, tell em its another contest, to see if your ISP will shut down its mail! :-)

I don't want to work tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, since its all overtime, what should I do?

Work! Work your arse off. At the end of your life the thing that counts most is how much money you have!

I keep waking up at 4am. Is there something I can do to get back to sleep?

I keep waking up at 4am. Is there something I can do to get back to sleep?

a nice big dose of arsenic should do nicely :)
make sure you wash it down with battery acid too

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i'm wondering, should i be evil, daring and rather stupid by subscribing to the "last to post here wins" thread and see how long it takes to crash my ISPs mail server :p

mwahahahahahaahaahaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ahem, so just wanted to know what you wise people think :p

I say do it! And, be sure to tell everyone to post as much as they can, tell em its another contest, to see if your ISP will shut down its mail! :-)

I don't want to work tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, since its all overtime, what should I do?

well, here goes, good luck mail.localdial.com

ready, set, crash!

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I keep waking up at 4am. Is there something I can do to get back to sleep?

Nope. Enjoy the sunrise :o)

[calvin voice] Are there any monsters under my bed? [/calvin voice]

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Whatcha think? Will that work for ya??? ;-D 8-D

Gotta be worth a try, and would give an certain unexpected leverage in neighborhood disputes over everything from parking places and noise levels to school tax rates.

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

I keep waking up at 4am. Is there something I can do to get back to sleep?

Nope. Enjoy the sunrise :o)

[calvin voice] Are there any monsters under my bed? [/calvin voice]

Of course there are. And vampires and ghosts and all those other scary creatures. But don't worry, they only come out at night. So keep a bright light on 24/7/365 and you'll be fine. Oh yes, and don't go to sleep either.


I need to send money home. What's the best way to do it?

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Kathryn :o)
The BOINC FAQ Service
The Unofficial BOINC Wiki
The Trac System
More BOINC information than you can shake a stick of RAM at.

I need to send money home. What's the best way to do it?

Post your bank details on every form of media available and it should reach home eventually.

(PS: but the cost of doing so would make the entire excercise totally pointless so just put all your money in the form of a cashiers cheque to me, all donations gratefully recieved :-D).

How do I get to the moon for £1 (or about $1.80c)?

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Save a tree, eat a Beaver.

I need to send money home. What's the best way to do it?

Post your bank details on every form of media available and it should reach home eventually.

(PS: but the cost of doing so would make the entire excercise totally pointless so just put all your money in the form of a cashiers cheque to me, all donations gratefully recieved :-D).

How do I get to the moon for £1 (or about $1.80c)?

Stow away in the wheel well of a space shuttle. When you get to the space station, jump towards the moon - really, you should make it. Oh, yes, to save weight, leave the space suit home.

I need to neuter my dog. The vet wants way too much money, what do I do?

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BOINC WIKI

I need to neuter my dog. The vet wants way too much money, what do I do?

Hang up this photo in the dog house:



Should work pretty well as a contraceptive :o)

I heard that microwaving your head will get you high.
How should I set my microwave to get the best results?

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I need to neuter my dog. The vet wants way too much money, what do I do?

Bite it off!



I cant spel whts shuold i do?

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