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ZEN HUMOR
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Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
Q: Why are there so few Buddhist rhythm and blues bands? A: Because Buddhists don't have any soul. Q: Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners? A: Because they have no attachments. Q: What did a Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? A: Make me one with everything. Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, they are the light bulb. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
BillHyland Send message Joined: 30 Apr 04 Posts: 907 Credit: 5,764,172 RAC: 0 |
Q: Why are there so few Buddhist rhythm and blues bands? Alternate: Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but the bulb must want to be changed. |
GalaxyIce Send message Joined: 13 May 06 Posts: 8927 Credit: 1,361,057 RAC: 0 |
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GalaxyIce Send message Joined: 13 May 06 Posts: 8927 Credit: 1,361,057 RAC: 0 |
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Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just leave me the hell alone. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
GalaxyIce Send message Joined: 13 May 06 Posts: 8927 Credit: 1,361,057 RAC: 0 |
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Dr. C.E.T.I. Send message Joined: 29 Feb 00 Posts: 16019 Credit: 794,685 RAC: 0 |
oh - nay (oNe) |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
Nothing leads me further from attachment than a week with the in-laws A monk went to the dentist for an exam. The dentist found a cavity and said he would have to give the monk a filling. "Do you want something for the pain?", asked the dentist. The monk replied, "No thank you, I transcend dental medication." LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
GalaxyIce Send message Joined: 13 May 06 Posts: 8927 Credit: 1,361,057 RAC: 0 |
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GalaxyIce Send message Joined: 13 May 06 Posts: 8927 Credit: 1,361,057 RAC: 0 |
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Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
Q: What is the name of the best Zen teacher? A: M.T. Ness LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
GalaxyIce Send message Joined: 13 May 06 Posts: 8927 Credit: 1,361,057 RAC: 0 |
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Dr. C.E.T.I. Send message Joined: 29 Feb 00 Posts: 16019 Credit: 794,685 RAC: 0 |
waz - a - bi |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
weebles wobble but they don't fall down !! LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
Darth Dogbytes™ Send message Joined: 30 Jul 03 Posts: 7512 Credit: 2,021,148 RAC: 0 |
"...............," .............." Account frozen... |
Es99 Send message Joined: 23 Aug 05 Posts: 10874 Credit: 350,402 RAC: 0 |
"...............," .............." LOL!! Reality Internet Personality |
darkstarz1 Send message Joined: 29 Mar 03 Posts: 43 Credit: 1,333,019 RAC: 0 |
Five surgeons are discussing which patients make the best surgical candidates The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table. When you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second ! responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." The fourth surgeon chimes in. "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end. And if the job takes longer than you said it would, no big deal." But the fifth surgeon topped them all. "You're all wrong. President Bush is the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no balls, no brains and no spine. And on top of that, the head and the ass are interchangeable." |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
Q: How do you describe a schizophrenic Zen Buddhist? A: A man who is at two with the universe LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
GalaxyIce Send message Joined: 13 May 06 Posts: 8927 Credit: 1,361,057 RAC: 0 |
There was once a man who was crossing a field and met a tiger. Running, he came to a great cliff and caught hold of a root and swung over the edge of the cliff. But at the bottom of the cliff was another tiger. Soon two little mice came along and began to gnaw on the vine. The man looked in terror at the tiger below. But then he saw a strawberry vine. He picked the strawberry and ate it. "Ah, how delicious it is," he said to himself. flaming balloons |
The Simonator Send message Joined: 18 Nov 04 Posts: 5700 Credit: 3,855,702 RAC: 50 |
If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed. Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge. |
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