Q: Why are there so few Buddhist rhythm and blues bands?
A: Because Buddhists don't have any soul.

Q: Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners?
A: Because they have no attachments.

Q: What did a Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.

Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they are the light bulb.

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010

Q: Why are there so few Buddhist rhythm and blues bands?
A: Because Buddhists don't have any soul.

Q: Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners?
A: Because they have no attachments.

Q: What did a Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.

Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they are the light bulb.

Alternate:
Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but the bulb must want to be changed.

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just leave me the hell alone.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010

The web-site you seek Cannot be located,

but Countless more exist.

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oh - nay (oNe)

Nothing leads me further from attachment than a week with the in-laws

A monk went to the dentist for an exam. The dentist found a cavity and said he would have to give the monk a filling.
"Do you want something for the pain?", asked the dentist.
The monk replied, "No thank you, I transcend dental medication."

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010

A nerd is someone whose life revolved around computers and technology.

A geek is someone whose life revolves around computers and technology...

...and likes it.

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It is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.

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Q: What is the name of the best Zen teacher?
A: M.T. Ness

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010

When walking - walk.

When sitting - sit.

But don't wobble!

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waz - a - bi

weebles wobble but they don't fall down !!

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010

"...............," .............."

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Account frozen...

"...............," .............."

LOL!!

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Reality Internet Personality

Five surgeons are discussing which patients make the best surgical candidates
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table. When you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second ! responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in. "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end. And if the job takes longer than you said it would, no big deal."
But the fifth surgeon topped them all. "You're all wrong. President Bush is the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no balls, no brains and no spine. And on top of that, the head and the ass are interchangeable."

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Q: How do you describe a schizophrenic Zen Buddhist?
A: A man who is at two with the universe

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010

There was once a man who was crossing a field and met a tiger. Running, he came to a great cliff and caught hold of a root and swung over the edge of the cliff. But at the bottom of the cliff was another tiger.

Soon two little mice came along and began to gnaw on the vine. The man looked in terror at the tiger below. But then he saw a strawberry vine. He picked the strawberry and ate it. "Ah, how delicious it is," he said to himself.

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If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.