I can knock down flies in flight with rubber bands stretched over a 300mm ruler.

Is that any use, or useless?

That's useless enough, considering there are easier ways to swat flies.

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Account frozen...

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Account frozen...

'e lives down the street - and i am NOT sure whether OR not it's alright to have a talk wit 'im ;)))

'e lives down the street - and i am NOT sure whether OR not it's alright to have a talk wit 'im ;)))

Richard

He would probably speak Unwinease -

Stanley Unwin (comedian)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
• Interested in contributing to Wikipedia? •Jump to: navigation, search
(Professor) Stanley Unwin

Cover from Rock-a-bye Babel by Stanley Unwin and Roy Dewar
Born June 07, 1911(1911-06-07)
South Africa - Pretoria
Died January 12, 2002 (aged 90)
England - Dantre Hospital, Daventry, Northamptonshire

Resting place Long Buckby, Northamptonshire
Occupation Comic actor, writer
Spouse Frances (?) (1916-1993)
Children (son)
Marion (b. 1939)
Lois
Parents Ivan Unwin (d. 1914)
(?)
Stanley Unwin (7 June 1911 Pretoria, South Africa – 12 January 2002 Dantre Hospital, Daventry, Northamptonshire [1]), born in Pretoria, South Africa, sometimes billed as Professor Stanley Unwin, was more than just a British comedian and comic writer. He was an inventor of his own language, "Unwinese," referred to in the film Carry On Regardless as "gobbledegook".

His parents emigrated from the United Kingdom to South Africa in the early 1900s. Stanley was born in Pretoria in 1911. His father died in 1914, and his mother arranged for the family to return to the United Kingdom. By 1919, he had been sent to a children's home in Cheshire.

In the 1930s, he married Frances and they had a son and two daughters over the next few years.

His early career and training introduced him to wireless and radio communication, and this, coupled with work in the BBC's War Reporting Unit from c. 1944 was ultimately to prove to be a conduit into the media.

Stanley Unwin died in 2002 in Daventry, England. He is buried in the churchyard at Long Buckby, Northamptonshire with his wife, who pre-deceased him. Their gravestone has the epitaph, "Reunitey in the heavenly-bode - Deep Joy".

His work is thought to have been a significant influence on the two books written by John Lennon in 1964/5 – 'John Lennon In His Own Write' and 'A Spaniard In The Works'.

Contents [hide]
1 Unwinese
1.1 Some appearances and works
1.2 Some phrases from Unwinese
2 Not to be confused with
3 References
4 External links



[edit] Unwinese
Unwinese, also known as "Basic Engly Twentyfido", was a special, ornamented and mangled form of English in which many of the words were corrupted in a playful and humorous way. Unwin’s performances could be hilarious yet disorienting although the meaning and context were always conveyed in a disguised and picturesque style.

Unwinese was very poetic in the way it alluded to its subject – e.g. Elvis Presley and his contemporaries are described as having ‘wasp-waist and swivel-hippy’ – and it was often punctuated with moments of clarity and directness to accentuate the ‘nonsense’ – e.g. ‘Deep joy!’ ‘Oh yes’.

On a more serious front, as well as being useful for entertainment purposes, Unwin's use of language also gives us an insight into the way our minds understand words.

Unwin claimed his gift came from his mother, who once told him that on the way home she had "falolloped over and grazed her kneeclappers". This phrase eventually turned up in one of Unwin's monologues, Goldiloppers and the Three Bearloders.

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It's good to be back amongst friends and colleagues

a doppleganger i tell you . . . ;))

'e lives down the street - and i am NOT sure whether OR not it's alright to have a talk wit 'im ;)))

Richard

He would probably speak Unwinease -

Stanley Unwin (comedian)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
• Interested in contributing to Wikipedia? •Jump to: navigation, search
(Professor) Stanley Unwin

Cover from Rock-a-bye Babel by Stanley Unwin and Roy Dewar
Born June 07, 1911(1911-06-07)
South Africa - Pretoria
Died January 12, 2002 (aged 90)
England - Dantre Hospital, Daventry, Northamptonshire

Resting place Long Buckby, Northamptonshire
Occupation Comic actor, writer
Spouse Frances (?) (1916-1993)
Children (son)
Marion (b. 1939)
Lois
Parents Ivan Unwin (d. 1914)
(?)
Stanley Unwin (7 June 1911 Pretoria, South Africa – 12 January 2002 Dantre Hospital, Daventry, Northamptonshire [1]), born in Pretoria, South Africa, sometimes billed as Professor Stanley Unwin, was more than just a British comedian and comic writer. He was an inventor of his own language, "Unwinese," referred to in the film Carry On Regardless as "gobbledegook".

His parents emigrated from the United Kingdom to South Africa in the early 1900s. Stanley was born in Pretoria in 1911. His father died in 1914, and his mother arranged for the family to return to the United Kingdom. By 1919, he had been sent to a children's home in Cheshire.

In the 1930s, he married Frances and they had a son and two daughters over the next few years.

His early career and training introduced him to wireless and radio communication, and this, coupled with work in the BBC's War Reporting Unit from c. 1944 was ultimately to prove to be a conduit into the media.

Stanley Unwin died in 2002 in Daventry, England. He is buried in the churchyard at Long Buckby, Northamptonshire with his wife, who pre-deceased him. Their gravestone has the epitaph, "Reunitey in the heavenly-bode - Deep Joy".

His work is thought to have been a significant influence on the two books written by John Lennon in 1964/5 – 'John Lennon In His Own Write' and 'A Spaniard In The Works'.

Contents [hide]
1 Unwinese
1.1 Some appearances and works
1.2 Some phrases from Unwinese
2 Not to be confused with
3 References
4 External links



[edit] Unwinese
Unwinese, also known as "Basic Engly Twentyfido", was a special, ornamented and mangled form of English in which many of the words were corrupted in a playful and humorous way. Unwin’s performances could be hilarious yet disorienting although the meaning and context were always conveyed in a disguised and picturesque style.

Unwinese was very poetic in the way it alluded to its subject – e.g. Elvis Presley and his contemporaries are described as having ‘wasp-waist and swivel-hippy’ – and it was often punctuated with moments of clarity and directness to accentuate the ‘nonsense’ – e.g. ‘Deep joy!’ ‘Oh yes’.

On a more serious front, as well as being useful for entertainment purposes, Unwin's use of language also gives us an insight into the way our minds understand words.

Unwin claimed his gift came from his mother, who once told him that on the way home she had "falolloped over and grazed her kneeclappers". This phrase eventually turned up in one of Unwin's monologues, Goldiloppers and the Three Bearloders.

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BOINC Wiki . . .

Science Status Page . . .

Excellent Chris - Quite Excellent SIR! Thank You . . .

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BOINC Wiki . . .

Science Status Page . . .

'ello cRunchy - how's your day comin' along . . . (funny thread btw)
SNIPs...

My day started well but I thought I'd try some spicy peanuts in my quest to improve my useless talent.

I think I might need new eyeballs.

here's a couple new ones for you



Snip...

Thanks for the new eyes. I had to wait for a friend to come around and read your post and fit them for me as I couldn't see after the spicy nuts incident.

I have another 2 useless talents from my early childhood that my Granny used to love showing off to her friends.

My Granny discovered I could hold a pen between my upper lip and nose.

I have since tried to perfect this and after a period of rain lately found a long slug (the animal variety not the bullet kind) had crept into my hallway under the front door.

I used to have to tilt my head backwards about 5 degrees to get the pen to stay on my upper lip but amazingly using a slug means I can even tilt my head 90 degrees downwards and the thing doesn't fall off.

(However - Does anyone know how to remove a slug from your upper lip?)

Second useless skill that Granny took great delight in embarassing me on is that I could roll my tummy muscles.

Every time her mates were around for tea and fruit cake I had to show my little belly and do this crazy show. Then they pinched me on the cheek and cackled lots..

I can still roll my tummy muscles but I feel quite traumatised just thinking about it...


There must be more useless tallents out there.

I can identify the key on the piano at which a song is sung or played. For this, if I see the number of blades a fan has I can estimate its RPM to the nearest two or three percent, without using a tachometer. For example, my lawnmower turns at about 2,900 RPM, with variation. Once, about 35 years ago, using a washing-machine motor, pulley and string, I got a toy gyroscope up to about 30,000 RPM. It might have been kinda dangerous at that speed.

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I can sometimes feel it raining a good 10 minutes or more before anyone else around me. It's true. I can be in the middle of London amongst multi-story buildings and I will feel a (tiny) drop or two of rain and look up to the sky to make sure it wasn't pigeon doing it's do's on me. I would comment on it (now I just plainly state "It's about to rain") but no-one around me has felt anything. Sometime later, usually at least 5 or 10 minutes, it starts to rain.

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flaming balloons

I can sometimes feel it raining a good 10 minutes or more before anyone else around me. It's true. I can be in the middle of London amongst multi-story buildings and I will feel a (tiny) drop or two of rain and look up to the sky to make sure it wasn't pigeon doing it's do's on me. I would comment on it (now I just plainly state "It's about to rain") but no-one around me has felt anything. Sometime later, usually at least 5 or 10 minutes, it starts to rain.

I believe you.

Quite a few years ago my friend was dating a woman who was deaf.

One evening we were all in my apartment and the 'blinds' (shutters) were closed and the curtains drawn.

Suddenly my friend's girlfriend stood up and said it was snowing.

We all thought she was being crazy as there was no way she could have seen it and no snow was predicted.

When we opened the curtains and blinds it was snowing like mad.

It was the first snow of that year.

We asked her how she knew and she said she heard it.

I don't know what she meant by 'heard' but there is no doubt she was sensitive on some level to the changes in the climate and the precipitating weather.

That was kind of spooky yet cool.

Or..perhaps, like you, you are acutely aware of changes in moisture in your enviornment. Depends on the decor and company perhaps.

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Founder of BOINC team Objectivists. Oh the humanity! Rational people crunching data!
I did NOT authorize this belly writing!

Years ago I had a Bridge partner that could read my cards...I was the transmitter and he was the receiver. The ESP traffic only went in one direction...we kicked ass at the Bridge Club in the A league.

OK, we cheated...

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Account frozen...

Years ago I had a Bridge partner that could read my cards...I was the transmitter and he was the receiver. The ESP traffic only went in one direction...we kicked ass at the Bridge Club in the A league.

OK, we cheated...

Be careful. I'm recruiting for my Halloween magic trick sessions. Honesty might be a fault there.....I levitate oranges.

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Founder of BOINC team Objectivists. Oh the humanity! Rational people crunching data!
I did NOT authorize this belly writing!

Years ago I had a Bridge partner that could read my cards...I was the transmitter and he was the receiver. The ESP traffic only went in one direction...we kicked ass at the Bridge Club in the A league.

OK, we cheated...

Be careful. I'm recruiting for my Halloween magic trick sessions. Honesty might be a fault there.....I levitate oranges.

How about coconuts??? :-p Do I have to fear anything? lol

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Btw... I have some strange talents. But they are absolutely not Useless... so its no reason posting about them here.. ;-D

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? being 'proud' of Posting in TLPTPW Thread ?

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BOINC Wiki . . .

Science Status Page . . .

? being 'proud' of Posting in TLPTPW Thread ?

what? hehe... it THAT a talent? ..i didnt know.. so i didnt count it. hmm..

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Years ago I had a Bridge partner that could read my cards...I was the transmitter and he was the receiver. The ESP traffic only went in one direction...we kicked ass at the Bridge Club in the A league.

OK, we cheated...

Be careful. I'm recruiting for my Halloween magic trick sessions. Honesty might be a fault there.....I levitate oranges.

How about coconuts??? :-p Do I have to fear anything? lol

If I begin to make you feel dizzy and light on your feet then the answer is yes.

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Founder of BOINC team Objectivists. Oh the humanity! Rational people crunching data!
I did NOT authorize this belly writing!

Years ago I had a Bridge partner that could read my cards...I was the transmitter and he was the receiver. The ESP traffic only went in one direction...we kicked ass at the Bridge Club in the A league.

OK, we cheated...

Be careful. I'm recruiting for my Halloween magic trick sessions. Honesty might be a fault there.....I levitate oranges.

How about coconuts??? :-p Do I have to fear anything? lol

If I begin to make you feel dizzy and light on your feet then the answer is yes.

Thats how i feel...mostly.. I didnt know it was you..

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