That's how it should be!

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I'm having problems expressing how disgusting I find this news item.

Robert Fisk: The number of women sentenced to death across the Middle East has very little to do with justice

Now this would have to be the most sickening bit of news for the year.

Iraq tries to legalise child marriage.

http://www.news.com.au/world/breaking-news/iraq-tries-to-legalise-child-marriage/story-e6frfkui-1226855121871

A contentious draft law being considered in Iraq could open the door to girls as young as nine getting married and would require wives to submit to sex on their husband's whim.

This is when I reckon that the idiots that come up with these types of ideas really need......, this type of stuff really makes me boiling mad.

Mitch McConnell fundraiser: Wives in bad ‘mood’ still have sexual ‘obligation’ to husbands

Someone might want to explain to him that forcing someone to have sex when they don't want to is called rape. It doesn't matter if you are married to them or not.

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Reality Internet Personality

Mitch McConnell fundraiser: Wives in bad ‘mood’ still have sexual ‘obligation’ to husbands

Someone might want to explain to him that forcing someone to have sex when they don't want to is called rape. It doesn't matter if you are married to them or not.

And Republicans are surprised when they get so little of the women vote? In what fantasy world do these people live?

I can't talk on this thread cos it makes me so angry :( but thank you everyone who does.

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oh...and did we say we like humans too? Well we do :)

If a woman were to refuse to sleep with her husband, which resulted in him going off and having an affair, whose side would you be on?

I can understand his point of view. Men want sex, society expects that they only sleep with the person they're married to, that person doesn't want to, net result: frustration.
It boils down to a battle between a billion years of genetic pre-programming (the fundamental desire to mate and pass on one's genes) vs a few thousand years of artificial social constraints (marriage, etc), and in biological terms the former shouts loudest.

Edit: when i say i understand his point of view, that does not necessarily mean i agree with his point of view. I say this to counter arguments from anyone who cares to misrepresent the above statement.

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

If a woman refused to sleep with her husband because he was having affairs with other women, but gets raped by him anyway, is how my sister and I were conceived. It's taken us all our lives to earn her love. We're still not there.

Sad reflection on men I'm afraid. The majority of them have their brains dangling between their legs.

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Forget the East, what about at home?

Rape increase by 53% in London alone

Yes, I know the report is from 2012. However, there was another report earlier this year, but for some reason, cannot locate it for now.

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Indeed, plenty of Western people who think its a wife's duty to please her husband, regardless of how she is feeling.

If a woman were to refuse to sleep with her husband, which resulted in him going off and having an affair, whose side would you be on?

I can understand his point of view. Men want sex, society expects that they only sleep with the person they're married to, that person doesn't want to, net result: frustration.
It boils down to a battle between a billion years of genetic pre-programming (the fundamental desire to mate and pass on one's genes) vs a few thousand years of artificial social constraints (marriage, etc), and in biological terms the former shouts loudest.

Edit: when i say i understand his point of view, that does not necessarily mean i agree with his point of view. I say this to counter arguments from anyone who cares to misrepresent the above statement.

So the marriage is in trouble and the only two options you can see is that the man goes elsewhere or he rapes his wife?

That is a truly effed up view of relationships you have there.

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Reality Internet Personality

If a woman were to refuse to sleep with her husband, which resulted in him going off and having an affair, whose side would you be on?

I can understand his point of view. Men want sex, society expects that they only sleep with the person they're married to, that person doesn't want to, net result: frustration.
It boils down to a battle between a billion years of genetic pre-programming (the fundamental desire to mate and pass on one's genes) vs a few thousand years of artificial social constraints (marriage, etc), and in biological terms the former shouts loudest.

Edit: when i say i understand his point of view, that does not necessarily mean i agree with his point of view. I say this to counter arguments from anyone who cares to misrepresent the above statement.

So the marriage is in trouble and the only two options you can see is that the man goes elsewhere or he rapes his wife?

I see it as not unreasonable for a man to expect his wife to sleep with him occasionally. Not at all hours of the day or when circumstances make it undesirable (headache etc), but if she never does i can't blame him for going elsewhere. (P.S. I never said rape)

That is a truly effed up view of relationships you have there.

You say effed up, i say straightforward. Personally, since i've never felt the need to define myself by attachment to another person, my relationships tend to be short and to the point. And i'm quite happy like that.

(Congratulations by the way).

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

There used to be the Marriage Guidance Council which is now called Relate, but I don't know how many people use it. Decades ago people were happy to commit to a relationship by a marriage, and used to work at a marriage, if it foundered. It just seems to me that these days, a lot of people would just rather cohabit, and at the first hint of discord just go their own separate ways.

I don't think that is true Chris. In my experience most couples I've known have tried very hard to make it work before calling it quits. Marriage guidance is still very much available but both parties have to commit to it for it to work. I tried marriage guidance (you don't have to be married to go) with my ex. I can't remember if it was RELATE or not. In the end the counselor suggested he went to see a psychiatrist which as you can imagine didn't go down well with him. What annoys me is that it must have been obvious to her that he was a sociopath but she didn't warn me. I only found out after we broke up what he was when the mental hospital called me.

I also tried to arrange counseling sessions when we were breaking up to ensure that the break up was done in a civilised manner for the sake of the children. He came, but just spent the sessions verbally abusing me then refused to come after the first few sessions when he realised that I didn't care anymore and just wanted to get away from him. It wasn't until my son was in couselling that he came to one session and afterwards the counselor told me to keep him away from the kids and she was right. There was so much pressure on me to go against my instincts and keep him in contact with the kids when it wasn't what was best for them. So just because you have an ideal in your head of what people should or should not do it doesn't mean its right and it might be doing more harm than good.

My point is that you are making sweeping generalisations about why couples split up or why they stay together when you can't possibly know what goes on inside someone elses relationship.

Having said that, yes we know that divorce was at one time socially infra dig, and yes we know that many women stayed in an unhappy relationship because of the children. Thankfully that is not so much the case now, but it seems to have swung too far the other way.

I've known plenty of women who have divorced their husbands. They've all had good reasons. I've also known plenty of couples who understand that just because you are divorced the child can still have two parents who can raise the children together in a mature way. Perhaps more people need to understand that being divorced doesn't mean you aren't a parent anymore. I've seen too many men who use the children to punish the mother.

That is why I for one, am so delighted to see Es99's new Sig.

Chris, under Canadian law we were already common law married with all the same rights and responsibilities. It doesn't mean anything different to me. He gets to wear a ring and that is what he wanted. A committed relationship is a committed relationship. He works hard at it and that is why we are together.

Of course after my ex my standards are pretty low ;)

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Reality Internet Personality

It just seems to me that these days, a lot of people would just rather cohabit, and at the first hint of discord just go their own separate ways.

<-- Exhibit A

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

If a woman were to refuse to sleep with her husband, which resulted in him going off and having an affair, whose side would you be on?

I can understand his point of view. Men want sex, society expects that they only sleep with the person they're married to, that person doesn't want to, net result: frustration.
It boils down to a battle between a billion years of genetic pre-programming (the fundamental desire to mate and pass on one's genes) vs a few thousand years of artificial social constraints (marriage, etc), and in biological terms the former shouts loudest.

Edit: when i say i understand his point of view, that does not necessarily mean i agree with his point of view. I say this to counter arguments from anyone who cares to misrepresent the above statement.

So the marriage is in trouble and the only two options you can see is that the man goes elsewhere or he rapes his wife?

I see it as not unreasonable for a man to expect his wife to sleep with him occasionally. Maybe not at all hours of the day or when circumstances make it undesirable (headache etc), but if she never does i can't blame him for going elsewhere. (P.S. I never said rape)

That is a truly effed up view of relationships you have there.

You say effed up, i say straightforward. Personally, since i've never felt the need to define myself by attachment to another person, my relationships tend to be short and to the point. And i'm quite happy like that.

(Congratulations by the way).

Its not unreasonable for a woman to expect her husband to sleep with her occasionally...but because of the power imbalance and the double standards in society it seems that the conversation is all about what women should do to preserve the marriage and not what men should do.

If one person in the relationship doesn't want sex with the other then that is usually sign of something wrong elsewhere. Surely the first step would be to find out what the problem is rather than expecting people to have sex against their wishes or live under the threat of the other person cheating?

If a man wants a women to sleep with him then he should make an effort to make himself attractive to her. That could be either in his looks or his demeanor. Stamping your foot and demanding sex is not attractive in my books and is a huge turn off. We don't owe men sex just because we are female. Sorry, this is the 21st century.

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Reality Internet Personality

It just seems to me that these days, a lot of people would just rather cohabit, and at the first hint of discord just go their own separate ways.

<-- Exhibit A

That will work for you until the women get older and develop a sense of self worth. Then you might find you have to grow up.

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Reality Internet Personality

It just seems to me that these days, a lot of people would just rather cohabit, and at the first hint of discord just go their own separate ways.

<-- Exhibit A

That will work for you until the women get older and develop a sense of self worth. Then you might find you have to grow up.

Lets not descend into insults.

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

It just seems to me that these days, a lot of people would just rather cohabit, and at the first hint of discord just go their own separate ways.

<-- Exhibit A

That will work for you until the women get older and develop a sense of self worth. Then you might find you have to grow up.

Lets not descend into insults.

Not trying to be insulting, just pointing something out.

You are playing a power game where at the moment the rules are in your favour. It won't last and it is not a mature way of conducting relationships.

I am sorry if you think I am being blunt, but I'd say the same thing to my son if he made a comment like that. It was meant as a warning and I was trying to do you a favour. You can take my advice or leave it, but relationships are built on respect and if you break up with someone every time they don't do things the way you like them to, then you aren't building a relationship on respect and you aren't maturing as a person.

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Reality Internet Personality

Es, I whole heartedly agree with you - relationships are not about self, but about together.

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Bob Smith
Member of Seti PIPPS (Pluto is a Planet Protest Society)
Somewhere in the (un)known Universe?