What Does Respect Mean TO You?

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Respect means treating people the way you yourself would want to be treated: fairly, politely and honestly. In Internet communications, it means talking to someone as if you were talking to them face-to-face, and as if (this is important) that person is much bigger, stronger and angrier than you. Respect is all too rare in Internet communications, because many people think it is not important, or because many people get away with the lack of it, or because many people have suffered from a lack of it and think that justifies them giving back the same.

R - E - S - P - E - C - T


"just a little bit..." - Aretha Franklin

Respect - Aretha Franklin


Ironically, by instituting moderators, many members have lost the will to keep the peace themselves. It reminds me a bit of the effect that the development of the institution of professional policemen made to society in general. In the old days, the community itself enforced the laws. If someone cried out, "Stop Thief!", all those around would chase the felon. The people enforced the standards themselves by responding voluntarily to a "Hue and Cry".

Once police forces entered the picture, people said, "Well, leave it to them. It's their job." And so we now have some situations of extreme apathy, where terrible things happen in public, and no one lifts a finger.

It's human nature I guess, to say, "Well, leave it to them", but it doesn't do us much good. Things would be a lot better, especially with our new PM system, if we all chipped in to encourage people who are acting below the usual standards of decency, with encouragement, persuasion and even admonishments, to behave themselves.

We shouldn't abandon our previous good ways of keeping up civility as a community effort, imho.


We should keep trying, as in the good old days around here... just a little bit.

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Respect means treating people the way you yourself would want to be treated: fairly, politely and honestly. In Internet communications, it means talking to someone as if you were talking to them face-to-face, and as if (this is important) that person is much bigger, stronger and angrier than you. Respect is all too rare in Internet communications, because many people think it is not important, or because many people get away with the lack of it, or because many people have suffered from a lack of it and think that justifies them giving back the same.

I agree to Qui-Gon's post in most parts. The only thing I disagree is the part I underlined.

I rather would say: "...as if (this is important) that person is much more sensitive than you." Because: while strong big angry people can be calmed down, you can hurt sensitive persons a lot even by being misunderstood. And hurt persons either become angry beyond a chance of being calmed - or just suffer & leave. FUBAR both ways. So: hurt no-one because you don't want to be hurt.
And you never know who is behind the nick-names (except this person reveals it on the boards).

Since you can't use all of this "non-verbal communication" when posting on Internet message boards, which you use when communicating face-to-face, like gesture or mimic for example, you have to express your "sub-messages" otherwise to get the messages the way you mean them. But, Qui-Gon is right, there is a lack of respect on many Internet boards.

To me, mutual respect is mutual attention & esteem, and has nothing to do with the fear of a bigger, angrier, stronger person.

I just try to see a person being at least the same level (of knowledge, experience, wisdom...) as me. I always use to give persons quite much respect in advance, just because they are human beings like me, my "brothers & sisters" in a spiritual way. Though this respect to a particular person can even rise by learning more of them, it's also possible that I can lose the respect to a certain person by learning more of them. But my respect to certain people is up to them and their behavior.

It's a matter of my self-respect, how much I can respect myself more than I respect the other ones.

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Account frozen...

It's human nature I guess, to say, "Well, leave it to them", but it doesn't do us much good. Things would be a lot better, especially with our new PM system, if we all chipped in to encourage people who are acting below the usual standards of decency, with encouragement, persuasion and even admonishments, to behave themselves.

The PM system has resulted in successes where people go back and edit their posts.

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Capitalize on this good fortune, one word can bring you round ... changes.

It's human nature I guess, to say, "Well, leave it to them", but it doesn't do us much good. Things would be a lot better, especially with our new PM system, if we all chipped in to encourage people who are acting below the usual standards of decency, with encouragement, persuasion and even admonishments, to behave themselves.

The PM system has resulted in successes where people go back and edit their posts.

This is certainly true.

A quiet request, possibly with a brief reason, is much more likely to draw a positive and supportive response than being heavy.

That is human nature!

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It's good to be back amongst friends and colleagues

The thread or board rules assure that a civil tone is being kept. It makes it a nice(r) board to post on where people treat each other with respect and where new posters are welcomed. A mutual respect between posters can be kept within the rules.

I have been around long enough to know how it was before rules were implemented and where a moderator was a project admin we mailed when things went totally out of hand, like DoS attacks and such. It was not a nice place to post back then.

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"I'm trying to maintain a shred of dignity in this world." - Me

Well, many people seem to forget that respect is not a one way road. Demanding respect for oneself without respecting the opposite person first always leads to injustice.

To get a respectful communication aboard the respect has to be MUTUAL.

Treat the people with respect first, then they will respect you - and not: expect them to respect you that you respect them in reply...

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Account frozen...

It's human nature I guess, to say, "Well, leave it to them", but it doesn't do us much good. Things would be a lot better, especially with our new PM system, if we all chipped in to encourage people who are acting below the usual standards of decency, with encouragement, persuasion and even admonishments, to behave themselves.

The PM system has resulted in successes where people go back and edit their posts.

But when a user has PM's blocked, then how can they know?

It's human nature I guess, to say, "Well, leave it to them", but it doesn't do us much good. Things would be a lot better, especially with our new PM system, if we all chipped in to encourage people who are acting below the usual standards of decency, with encouragement, persuasion and even admonishments, to behave themselves.

The PM system has resulted in successes where people go back and edit their posts.

But when a user has PM's blocked, then how can they know?

I am not sure how it works, because I have never had a lock put on my PMs, but perhaps it would be appropriate if the offending member could receive PMs and just be blocked from sending any until their ban is lifted.
A suggestion for the admins, perhaps?

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

MODERATION POLICY: from Eric"Discussion of moderation policy is appropriate for this forum. Sometimes it's hard for that not to devolve into discussion of specific moderator actions. The line is hard to draw. I'm hoping to continue to expand the moderator base under the theory that lots of mods moderate the moderation."

> note: thE actual reference is another Forum . . . ;)

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Science Status Page . . .

It's human nature I guess, to say, "Well, leave it to them", but it doesn't do us much good. Things would be a lot better, especially with our new PM system, if we all chipped in to encourage people who are acting below the usual standards of decency, with encouragement, persuasion and even admonishments, to behave themselves.

The PM system has resulted in successes where people go back and edit their posts.

But when a user has PM's blocked, then how can they know?

I am not sure how it works, because I have never had a lock put on my PMs, but perhaps it would be appropriate if the offending member could receive PMs and just be blocked from sending any until their ban is lifted.
A suggestion for the admins, perhaps?

What I am talking about is that users, anyone, can block another person's PM's. So, for example, if a moderator wants to ask someone to change a post but that person has the moderator blocked, then the user will not get the request and the moderator has to deal with the problem in another, more public way.

Respect, it has been pointed out, is a two way street: blocking someones PM's when the person you are blocking has been respectful, is not very respectful and can lead to hard feelings.

It's human nature I guess, to say, "Well, leave it to them", but it doesn't do us much good. Things would be a lot better, especially with our new PM system, if we all chipped in to encourage people who are acting below the usual standards of decency, with encouragement, persuasion and even admonishments, to behave themselves.

The PM system has resulted in successes where people go back and edit their posts.

But when a user has PM's blocked, then how can they know?

I am not sure how it works, because I have never had a lock put on my PMs, but perhaps it would be appropriate if the offending member could receive PMs and just be blocked from sending any until their ban is lifted.
A suggestion for the admins, perhaps?

What I am talking about is that users, anyone, can block another person's PM's. So, for example, if a moderator wants to ask someone to change a post but that person has the moderator blocked, then the user will not get the request and the moderator has to deal with the problem in another, more public way.

Respect, it has been pointed out, is a two way street: blocking someones PM's when the person you are blocking has been respectful, is not very respectful and can lead to hard feelings.

Sorry, I took your point to mean that if a user had his PMs locked by the mods, it would be impossible to PM them to coax them into better behaviour.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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BOINC Wiki . . .

Science Status Page . . .

"The materials promote messages of respect, acceptance, understanding and cooperation.", "It all starts with awareness, Finding out more about each other helps to break down barriers and misconceptions" . . .

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BOINC Wiki . . .

Science Status Page . . .

I learned many years ago that respect is not something you can demand, it is something you earn.

And I also learned many years ago that many of those who demand respect the most are the ones who give respect the least...

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"I'm trying to maintain a shred of dignity in this world." - Me

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BOINC Wiki . . .

Science Status Page . . .

What Does Respect Mean TO You?
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I am trying hard to respect myself.

I often see people who do this without ever understanding why or how.

If I could truely know how much I was one voice in the noisey throng of people here in SETI and in the world then perhaps I would know how to deal with all you other single voices.

I think respect means nothing until it is done.

I think respect when it happens is a passion that changes us.

I think respect is the silent unspoken awe that we feel when we recognise others in ourselves.

I think sometimes we have to stop caring about our private worlds.

Maybe respect is about letting go and just holding on.

When we respect someone else in whatever small way it's a gift. A mirror to the things we care about however shameful or good.

Respect only has two parties. It can never be achieved by others telling us it should be so. We stand or fall by our beliefs, needs, hopes and desires.

Respect is not something to be achieved but to be surpassed.

It's the word we speak just before we feel love for our fellow beings.


Just my thoughts.

Sorry for the poetic.



A very poignant question Pawly. Thankyou.

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As usual, so many of you just want to meddle in the affairs of others. Let's see:

Any number of you can't handle posts that don't address you or your posts because they aren't written as you would have written them and that makes you cry, or it hurts your eyes, or whatever pain you inflict on yourself because of it.

Then there's the "I want moderation" crowd, that begs to be moderated. I mean, this was what you wanted, right? To have the type of person that would ask for (or refuse to turn down) the position take control over what that other guy posted? But, oops, they also take control over what you posted. Quite the dilemma, eh? I mean, you asked for it, you got it, you should be thrilled. And look at the list of who you got, no emotional seesaws in there whatsoever, right? None of them ever show any emotion at all right?

Then there's the "I can't miss a single post, ever" group. You know, they have to see every single post in every single thread and some of those posts aren't respectful enough, and that bothers them.

Then there's the red x crowd, which is just hysterical. Ummmm, you can't crab about damn hell ass moderation when you use that red x. Do you understand why? It is all that hard?

Folks, this stuff is what kills it for you: all of you that discuss this stuff, the moderation, the "respect," the "tone" of posts, the who is a mod posts, et cetera can't possibly fathom that YOU YOURSELF are the problem. And it's a problem that is a direct result of your particular posts. Yes You. Not the other guy, though it's him as well.

It isn't some "faction" against some other faction, it's isn't some hypothetical third way, it's the people in factions A and B, and the third way people that simply cannot control their emotions. It ain't the other guy, it's YOU. Especially those that post the "Cain't we all jest git alowng?" posts.

It ain't rocket science folks, it's just human interaction--and you won't ever change that by hiring the incompetent or the emotional. It's likely that those that care enough to commit the time for free, care too much to be in charge. There are any number of examples of that...

So, want to solve the "problem" that bothers you so? Shut up. Keep yer pie hole closed. Wait 24 hours after something annoys you before you comment. Read it over 1000 times and ask yourself if it isn't just possible that the poster meant it differently than you took it (or that you missed something important like a colon)?

Originally: "We have met the enemy, and they are ours." --U.S. Navy Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry, 1813.

More accurately here: "We have met the enemy, and he is us." --Pogo, 1970

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Cordially,
Rush

elrushbo2@theobviousgmail.com
Remove the obvious...

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