Terrible jokes.

Author	Message
Stacey Jane Send message Joined: 28 Feb 07 Posts: 1717 Credit: 49,536 RAC: 0	Message 525598 - Posted: 3 Mar 2007, 2:16:41 UTC Last modified: 3 Mar 2007, 2:19:56 UTC okay, how 'bout the guys with no arms and no legs ... will they be offended with jokes about them? like what's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? ID: 525598 ·

Monday Send message Joined: 24 Sep 05 Posts: 9676 Credit: 20,067,888 RAC: 12	Message 525607 - Posted: 3 Mar 2007, 2:38:23 UTC - in response to Message 525598. okay, how 'bout the guys with no arms and no legs ... will they be offended with jokes about them? like what's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Buoy? ID: 525607 ·

Stacey Jane Send message Joined: 28 Feb 07 Posts: 1717 Credit: 49,536 RAC: 0	Message 525610 - Posted: 3 Mar 2007, 2:45:50 UTC - in response to Message 525607. okay, how 'bout the guys with no arms and no legs ... will they be offended with jokes about them? like what's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Buoy? Bob What's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? ID: 525610 ·

Pawly Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 13 Jan 07 Posts: 2694 Credit: 1,049,945 RAC: 0	Message 525671 - Posted: 3 Mar 2007, 5:08:37 UTC - in response to Message 525610. okay, how 'bout the guys with no arms and no legs ... will they be offended with jokes about them? like what's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Buoy? Bob What's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? ART!! What do you call the same guy sitting in front of your door? DONATE TO SETI ID: 525671 ·

Jim Send message Joined: 28 Jan 00 Posts: 614 Credit: 2,031,206 RAC: 0	Message 525673 - Posted: 3 Mar 2007, 5:09:11 UTC - in response to Message 525610. okay, how 'bout the guys with no arms and no legs ... will they be offended with jokes about them? like what's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Buoy? Bob What's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art No arms or legs at your doorstep? Without love, breath is just a clock ... ticking. Equilibrium ID: 525673 ·

Labbie Send message Joined: 19 Jun 06 Posts: 4083 Credit: 5,930,102 RAC: 0	Message 525675 - Posted: 3 Mar 2007, 5:14:51 UTC - in response to Message 525673. okay, how 'bout the guys with no arms and no legs ... will they be offended with jokes about them? like what's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Buoy? Bob What's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art No arms or legs at your doorstep? Matt ID: 525675 ·

Pawly Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 13 Jan 07 Posts: 2694 Credit: 1,049,945 RAC: 0	Message 525676 - Posted: 3 Mar 2007, 5:15:17 UTC - in response to Message 525673. okay, how 'bout the guys with no arms and no legs ... will they be offended with jokes about them? like what's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Buoy? Bob What's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art No arms or legs at your doorstep? Copy cat! lmao What are the chances? Alright, the same guy at the bottom of a pile of leaves? DONATE TO SETI ID: 525676 ·

Jim Send message Joined: 28 Jan 00 Posts: 614 Credit: 2,031,206 RAC: 0	Message 525677 - Posted: 3 Mar 2007, 5:16:30 UTC - in response to Message 525673. okay, how 'bout the guys with no arms and no legs ... will they be offended with jokes about them? like what's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Buoy? Bob What's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art No arms or legs at your doorstep? Matt In a pile of leaves? Russell Water skiing? Skip Without love, breath is just a clock ... ticking. Equilibrium ID: 525677 ·

Pawly Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 13 Jan 07 Posts: 2694 Credit: 1,049,945 RAC: 0	Message 525679 - Posted: 3 Mar 2007, 5:17:33 UTC @ the Beach? Sandy! DONATE TO SETI ID: 525679 ·

Stacey Jane Send message Joined: 28 Feb 07 Posts: 1717 Credit: 49,536 RAC: 0	Message 525762 - Posted: 3 Mar 2007, 11:31:03 UTC - in response to Message 525676. okay, how 'bout the guys with no arms and no legs ... will they be offended with jokes about them? like what's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Buoy? Bob What's the name of the guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art No arms or legs at your doorstep? Copy cat! lmao What are the chances? Alright, the same guy at the bottom of a pile of leaves? Russell (that one's my personal favourite) no arms, no legs in a ditch? Phil ID: 525762 ·

GalaxyIce Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 13 May 06 Posts: 8927 Credit: 1,361,057 RAC: 0	Message 525850 - Posted: 3 Mar 2007, 16:37:52 UTC - in response to Message 525585. What's big, green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A 50Kg gooseberry!!! No, not a gooseberry .... a pool table ... ha ha ha ... this forum is called terrible jokes isn't it? I like your answer much better Stacey Jane. I have an inkling that if I played pool in a tree my game might improve :) Thanks Ice, that's the best response I've ever gotten for that joke. LOL. People usually just question when would one ever be in a tree. That's the problem with non-tree dwellers. They just can't see out of the box. Err, the box tree. flam ing balloons ID: 525850 ·

mikey Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 17 Dec 99 Posts: 4215 Credit: 3,474,603 RAC: 0	Message 526286 - Posted: 4 Mar 2007, 13:42:57 UTC - in response to Message 525850. What's big, green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A 50Kg gooseberry!!! No, not a gooseberry .... a pool table ... ha ha ha ... this forum is called terrible jokes isn't it? I like your answer much better Stacey Jane. I have an inkling that if I played pool in a tree my game might improve :) Thanks Ice, that's the best response I've ever gotten for that joke. LOL. People usually just question when would one ever be in a tree. That's the problem with non-tree dwellers. They just can't see out of the box. Err, the box tree. Actually I think it is called a "box elder". ID: 526286 ·

Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 526387 - Posted: 4 Mar 2007, 17:47:17 UTC Q: What did the tree wear to the pool party? A: Swimming trunks! Q: What did the beaver say to the tree? A: It's been nice gnawing you! Q: Why did the leaf go to the doctor? A: It was feeling green! Q: What is a tree's least favorite month? A: Sep-timber! Q: What kind of tree can fit into your hand? A: A palm tree! Q: How do trees get on the internet? A: "They ""log"" in." LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 526387 ·

Stacey Jane Send message Joined: 28 Feb 07 Posts: 1717 Credit: 49,536 RAC: 0	Message 526697 - Posted: 5 Mar 2007, 4:36:14 UTC An indian goes in to see his doctor and says, "Doc I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't sleep at night. I keep having these strange dreams and they're keeping me up." The doctor says, "Well, what type of things are you dreaming about?" The indian says, "Nothing to exciting, but strange none the less. Like last night I dreamt I was a teepee and the night before that I dreamt I was a wigwam." The doctor replies, " I know what your problem is, you're two tents." ID: 526697 ·

Stacey Jane Send message Joined: 28 Feb 07 Posts: 1717 Credit: 49,536 RAC: 0	Message 527396 - Posted: 6 Mar 2007, 23:30:54 UTC - in response to Message 525507. Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? - Because it's in the ground state. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef ID: 527396 ·

Misfit Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 21 Jun 01 Posts: 21804 Credit: 2,815,091 RAC: 0	Message 527903 - Posted: 8 Mar 2007, 4:04:42 UTC .o0(one more would've been added to the list...) me@rescam.org ID: 527903 ·

Knightmare Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 16 Aug 04 Posts: 7472 Credit: 94,252 RAC: 0	Message 527959 - Posted: 8 Mar 2007, 7:17:04 UTC A guy goes to the doctor and the doctor tells him, "I have some very bad news for you. I'm afraid that you're afflicted with a fatal and incurable disease." So the guy asks, "Well isn't there anything I can do, doc?" The doctor tells the patient, "Well, maybe you should go to a spa and start taking daily mud baths." "Mud baths? Will that help me, doc?" asks the man. "Probably not, but at least you'll get used to being covered in dirt." ID: 527959 ·

Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 528254 - Posted: 8 Mar 2007, 23:25:16 UTC Q: Why does it get hot after baseball game? A: Because all the fans leave LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 528254 ·

GalaxyIce Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 13 May 06 Posts: 8927 Credit: 1,361,057 RAC: 0	Message 528281 - Posted: 9 Mar 2007, 0:10:33 UTC The End of the World in the UK How British Media would respond to the End of the World The Mirror - WE'RE DEAD! The Sun - GOTCHA ALL! The Sunday Times: Special Keepsake Magazine FREE Inside! The News of the World - CHARLES AND CAMILLA SEX ROMP SHOCK! The Guardian - NOBODY TO BLAME BUT OURSELVES The Telegraph: Blair Responsible for Worst Ever End of the World The Star: FORGET IT! WE'VE FILLED OUR PAGES WITH TITS The Morning Star: CAPITALISM IS OVER! The BBC: BILLIONS TO DIE - MANY BELIEVED TO BE BRITONS ITV: Special Report Tonight By Trevor McDonald (Circumstances Permitting) The Daily Mail: YOBS PART OF ARMAGEDDON PROBLEM TV-AM: And later on Lorraine Kelly will be discussing with our fashion experts just what to wear when a world comes to an end. QUESTION TIME: Join our panel who as usual will not not know in advance any of the questions. Well, (to applause and laughter) maybe just one of them! All local press: Local dog leaps to death - did he know? flam ing balloons ID: 528281 ·

Stacey Jane Send message Joined: 28 Feb 07 Posts: 1717 Credit: 49,536 RAC: 0	Message 528348 - Posted: 9 Mar 2007, 2:48:46 UTC The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in Ze forst plas. ID: 528348 ·

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