Really, really bad advice thread.

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Message 306224 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 11:50:40 UTC - in response to Message 306222.  



Our pet hamster has just died. What shall I tell the kids?


Tell them it is their fault for being bad bad children!!

What should I get my husband for his 45th birthday?
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Message 306225 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 11:51:16 UTC - in response to Message 306222.  
Last modified: 15 May 2006, 11:53:59 UTC

Our pet hamster has just died. What shall I tell the kids?

Good news kids. Extra cash this month, coz we don't need to buy hamster food.

[edit]
Question withdrawn...2 good 2 be true...
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Message 306226 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 11:51:18 UTC - in response to Message 306223.  

Only if i can quote you....LOL....

Please don't..I'm too young to die!!
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Message 306231 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 11:58:06 UTC - in response to Message 306224.  
Last modified: 15 May 2006, 12:01:29 UTC

What should I get my husband for his 45th birthday?

A big screen TV, a case of beer and a copy of your wedding video.

How do I win friends and influence people?
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Message 306235 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:03:12 UTC - in response to Message 306222.  

I have a terrible headache, what is the best treatment?

Put him out of his misery with a shotgun and you'll never need that excuse again.

How do I speed up my Internet connection?

Put your modem in the back of the car and drive at 80 mph.

Our pet hamster has just died. What shall I tell the kids?


Tell them it tastes just like chicken.


I videotaped over a recent fishing trip, where I had caught a record breaking one-of-a-kind flounder, with a porn flick. How do I fix it?
I realized the dead-end roads I ended up taking weren't always my fault. Many thanks to all that have helped in this - and you know who you are.
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Message 306237 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:07:23 UTC - in response to Message 306231.  

What should I get my husband for his 45th birthday?

A big screen TV, a case of beer and a copy of your wedding video.

How do I win friends and influence people?



Easy... buy em a big screen TV, a case of beer and a copy of your honeymoon video!

How do I become more sensitive to others feelings?


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Message 306238 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:08:55 UTC - in response to Message 306235.  

I videotaped over a recent fishing trip, where I had caught a record breaking one-of-a-kind flounder, with a porn flick. How do I fix it?

Open the side flap really carefully. Take a pocket knife and scrape the dark brown tape off until it becomes clear again.

How do I shop safely on the Internet?
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Message 306240 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:09:29 UTC

How do I win friends and influence people?



Play the "friends" Lottery and whisper in a lot of peoples ears.




I want to copy and distribute, for cash, my entire DVD collection. How to best do this?
I realized the dead-end roads I ended up taking weren't always my fault. Many thanks to all that have helped in this - and you know who you are.
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Message 306241 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:10:58 UTC - in response to Message 306238.  



How do I shop safely on the Internet?


The internet is perfectly secure. You can feel safe sending your personal information to any site at any time.. even your credit card numbers!


I am trying to sell my children on Ebay.. how do I get the best offer for them?

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Message 306242 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:13:02 UTC
Last modified: 15 May 2006, 12:13:16 UTC

How do I shop safely on the Internet?


By putting your wallet in a front pants pocket. (disregard if shopping in the buff)



I want to start a garden in the back yard. Any plant suggestions?
I realized the dead-end roads I ended up taking weren't always my fault. Many thanks to all that have helped in this - and you know who you are.
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Message 306243 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:16:28 UTC - in response to Message 306242.  

How do I shop safely on the Internet?


By putting your wallet in a front pants pocket. (disregard if shopping in the buff)



I want to start a garden in the back yard. Any plant suggestions?

Buy some seeds from this website. they are very easy to maintain.

My best friend has just joined the police force. What should I buy for a gift?
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Message 306244 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:17:06 UTC

My assignement for Uni is 3 days late. What excuse should i provide my lecturer??
Belief gets in the way of learning

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Message 306245 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:17:07 UTC

I am trying to sell my children on Ebay.. how do I get the best offer for them?


Put 0$ in the "But it now" option and offer free shipping to anywhere in the world.


I want start a band and be a rock star. What do I name my new band?
I realized the dead-end roads I ended up taking weren't always my fault. Many thanks to all that have helped in this - and you know who you are.
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Message 306246 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:17:21 UTC - in response to Message 306237.  

How do I become more sensitive to others feelings?

Rattle off the first thing that comes to mind on a public bulletin board. Thinking is not mandatory because hindsight is 20/20.

What's the fastest way out of the underground / metro?
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Message 306248 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:19:57 UTC - in response to Message 306224.  



What should I get my husband for his 45th birthday?


A walking stick.... preparing him for the innevitable.
Belief gets in the way of learning

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Message 306249 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:20:19 UTC - in response to Message 306224.  



What should I get my husband for his 45th birthday?


A walking stick.....
Belief gets in the way of learning

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Message 306250 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:20:27 UTC

My assignement for Uni is 3 days late. What excuse should i provide my lecturer??


Tell him the pictures of him and his secretary came out great and the extra prints are in the mail.



I have a court appearance next week. What should I wear?
I realized the dead-end roads I ended up taking weren't always my fault. Many thanks to all that have helped in this - and you know who you are.
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Message 306251 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:22:05 UTC - in response to Message 306250.  

My assignement for Uni is 3 days late. What excuse should i provide my lecturer??


Tell him the pictures of him and his secretary came out great and the extra prints are in the mail.



I have a court appearance next week. What should I wear?


Your superman suite, but only cause your KKK outfit is at the cleaners.
Belief gets in the way of learning

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Message 306252 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:22:47 UTC

What's the fastest way out of the underground / metro?


Yell FIRE and jump on the back of the largest person around you.



I'm having trouble organizing my thoughts. Any ideas on where to put them?
I realized the dead-end roads I ended up taking weren't always my fault. Many thanks to all that have helped in this - and you know who you are.
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Message 306253 - Posted: 15 May 2006, 12:25:27 UTC - in response to Message 306246.  



What's the fastest way out of the underground / metro?


Shoot anyone who gets in your way...


Should my friend wear guns to his court appearance?

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