---

---

why you worrie with ms. you get mac and have no worrie [fun]

why you worrie with ms. you get mac and have no worrie [fun]

True dat :)

---

Windows source code. Distribute Freely :o)

/* Source Code Windows 2000 */

#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "workst~1.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#include "monopoly.h"
#include "backdoor.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD

char make_prog_look_big(16000000);
void main()
{
  while(!CRASHED)
  {
    display_copyright_message();
    display_bill_rules_message();
    do_nothing_loop();

    if (first_time_installation)
      {
      make_100_megabyte_swapfile();
      do_nothing_loop();
      totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
      search_and_destroy_the_rest_of-OS2();
      make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
      disable_Netscape();
      disable_RealPlayer();
      disable_Lotus_Products();
      hang_system();
      } //if
    write_something(anything);
    display_copyright_message();
    do_nothing_loop();
    do_some_stuff();

    if (still_not_crashed)
    {
    display_copyright_message();
    do_nothing_loop();
    basically_run_windows_31();
    do_nothing_loop();
    } // if
  } //while

  if (detect_cache())
    disable_cache();

  if (fast_cpu())
    {
    set_wait_states(lots);
    set_mouse(speed,very_slow);
    set_mouse(action,jumpy);
    set_mouse(reaction,sometimes);
    } //if

  /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1");    */
  /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11");   */
  /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95");     */
  /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
  /* printf("Welcome to Windows 98");     */
  /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
  printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");

  if (system_ok())
    crash(to_dos_prompt)
  else
    system_memory = open("a:\\swp0001.swp",O_CREATE);

  while(something)
    {
    sleep(5);
    get_user_input();
    sleep(5);
    act_on_user_input();
    sleep(5);
    } // while
  create_general_protection_fault();

} // main

Regards Hans

---

Nice one, Hans !

There is an earlier version of that source code for Windows 95..........
http://www.annoyances.org/exec/show/article09-119

---

---

What a nice thread!

And don't forget http://www.fuckmicrosoft.com/!

---

Luckiest in the world. WMD = Weapon of Mass Distraction.
Click this table.

bump and check microsuck's forum

---

Luckiest in the world. WMD = Weapon of Mass Distraction.
Click this table.

---

Account frozen...

---

---

It's not a good idea to ruin your computer! Install another OS! Computer itself isn't responsible :)

But a big problem is there are many good applications for Window$, especially games.....

---

Luckiest in the world. WMD = Weapon of Mass Distraction.
Click this table.

But a big problem is there are many good applications for Window$, especially games.....

The one reason why i'm holding off changing to something else, gonna try Debian on one of my old machines though.

---

Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

> What if Data (from Star Trek Next Generation) were Microsoft Windows
> compatible?




} WORF: Captain, there are three Romulan warships uncloaking dead ahead.
}
} PICARD: On screen.
}
} [The main viewing screen changes to a pattern of horizontal lines, each
} only a single pixel wide.]
}
} PICARD: Data, what's wrong here?
}
} DATA: Captain, the main viewscreen does not have sufficient video
} memory to display an image of this size. May I suggest that you select
} a lower resolution?
}
} PICARD: Make it so.
}
} [The screen blanks, and then an image appears, with big, blocky square
} pixels. Three objects appear in the center, which could be Romulan
} warbirds, but which actually look more like the aliens in Space
} Invaders.]
}
} PICARD: Data, open a hailing channel to the Romulans.
}
} DATA: Aye, sir.
}
} [Data picks up an hourglass from the floor beside him, turns it over,
} and places it on the console in front of him. He punches some buttons
} on the console and sits motionless for several seconds. A flash of
} light blossoms from one of the Romulan ships on the viewscreen.]
}
} WORF: Incoming plasma torpedo, Captain!
}
} PICARD: Shields up!
}
} DATA: I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your
} last instruction. I must ask you to wait until I have finished before
} you issue your next command.
}
} PICARD: What on earth do you mean? Data, this is *important*! I want
} those shields up *right now*.
}
} DATA: I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your
} last instruction. I must ask you to wait until I have finished before
} you issue your next command.
}
} LAFORGE: Allow me, captain. [to Data] Control-alt-delete, Data.
}
} [Data removes the hourglass from the console, and returns it to the
} floor.]
}
} DATA: The Romulans are not responding to my hails. Press my nose to
} cancel and return to Windows. Pull my left ear to close this
} communications channel which is not responding. You will lose any
} information sent by the Romulans.
}
} [LaForge pulls Data's left ear.]
}
} PICARD: Shields...
}
} [There is a tremendous explosion. The bridge shakes violently, and all
} the crew members are thrown to the floor. A shower of sparks erupts
} from Wesley Crusher's station at the helm, throwing Wesley back away
} from the console.]
}
} PICARD: Up, Data!
}
} DATA: Aye, sir.
}
} RIKER: All decks, damage report!
}
} WORF: Captain, Ensign Crusher is injured. He appears to be
} unconscious.
}
} [Data picks up the hourglass again, places it on his console, and
} punches some more buttons. He waits a few seconds, then puts the
} hourglass back on the floor.]
}
} DATA: Shields are now up, captain.
}
} PICARD: And not a moment too soon. Worf, lock all phasers on the lead
} Romulan ship.
}
} WORF: Aye, sir. [He punches buttons on the weapons console.]
}
} PICARD: Mr. Data, take the helm, and prepare for evasive action.
}
} DATA: I am sorry, sir, but I do not have the proper device driver
} installed for that console.
}
} PICARD: Well, damn it, install the right one.
}
} DATA: Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right nostril.
}
} PICARD: Number One, where do we keep Data's setup implants?
}
} RIKER: I left them with Geordi.
}
} LAFORGE: [in a surprised voice] What!!? I thought you still had them!
}
} PICARD: Data, don't you have device drivers stored in your internal
} memory?
}
} DATA: Not found, sir. Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right
} nostril.
}
} PICARD: Data, I don't *have* Setup Implant #1.
}
} DATA: Not ready reading right nostril. Abort, Retry, Fail?
}
} PICARD: Abort!
}
} DATA: Not ready reading right nostril. Abort, Retry, Fail?
}
} PICARD: Well, fail, then!
}
} DATA: Current nose is no longer valid.
}
} [Data walks over to the helm, and presses several buttons. The ship
} lurches, the images of the Romulan warships suddenly shift to one side
} of the viewscreen, and a high-pitched whining noise is heard coming
} from somewhere else in the ship.]
}
} LAFORGE: [alarmed] Data, what the hell are you doing?
}
} PICARD: Number One, do we have a customer service number for Data?
}
} RIKER: Yes sir, but last time I tried to call them, I got put on hold
} for two hours before I was able to talk to anyone. And that person
} wasn't knowledgeable about androids of Data's model. She specialized
} in industrial control robots.
}
} [Suddenly, the lights all go out, the viewscreen goes blank, and all
} the usual noise of fans, motors, and so on whines to a halt. After a
} few seconds, the red emergency lights come on. Data is standing by the
} console, absolutely motionless.]
}
} PICARD: What's going on?
}
} LAFORGE: [checking the helm console] Lieutenant Data has caused a
} General Protection Violation in the warp engine core.
}
} PICARD: These androids look really sharp, but you can't really do
} anything with them.
}
} [The shimmer of the transporter effect appears, and six Romulans in
} full battle dress materialize on the bridge. A seventh figure, a
} Ferengi, appears moments later.]
}
} FERENGI: [with a mercenary grin] Can I interest you in a Macintosh,
} Captain?

---

http://news.yahoo.com/s/usatoday/20060516/tc_usatoday/securityfeatureinmicrosoftsnewwindowscoulddriveusersnuts;_ylt=AoGl4jTnpOQvr4D3oIIqNGus0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3cjE0b2MwBHNlYwM3Mzg-

---

---

Fifty ways to Crash your Windows
(thanks to Paul Simon........)


"The problem is all inside your box", she said to me
"The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be ...
fifty ways to crash your windows."
She said "It's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore I hope these packets won't be lost or misconstrued
So while you boot again, at the risk of being blue'd
There must be ...
fifty ways to crash your windows ...
fifty ways to crash your windows."

Install a new pack Jack, tap on the can, Stan
Its just a lil' toy, Roy, just listen to me
Use a PCI Bus, Gus, don't need to touch much
Start PGP, Lee, the blue screen you will see!

She said "I see you've got BSOD again
I think if you stopped crashing you'd feel a lot less pain."
I said, "I appreciate that, and can you please explain
how to stop the crashing?"

She said, "Why don't we just install Linux tonight
And I believe that the penguin can soon set things aright."
And then I shut down and I realized she probably was right
There must be ...
fifty ways to crash your windows ...
fifty ways to crash your windows.

Just flip out the stack, Jack, ping it to death, Beth,
Adjust the screen, Gene, just take it from me.
Try'n see what you ran, Dan, or access the 'Raid', babe,
Look for new mail, Dale, its easy to see.

---

Q: How many windows engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Non, Bill Gates will just define DarknessTM as the new industry standard.

---

Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

The Sultan of Brunei was getting a bit cheesed off as he had
6 children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir.
Imagine his joy then,when one of his wives presented him
with his only son and heir.

Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan took him
to one side and said, "Son, I am very proud of you.
Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like an aeroplane."
Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought
him British Airways.

Just before his son's seventh birthday, the Sultan took
him to one side. "Son, you are my pride and joy. Anything
you want, I shall get for you."

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat." Not
wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him
P&O Ferries.

Just before his son's eighth birthday, the Sultan took
him to one side. "Son, you bring so much happiness into
my life. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like something to watch
films on." Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father
bought him MGM Studios and their cinemas, where he watched
all his favourite Western Movies.

Just before his son's ninth birthday, the Sultan took
him to one side. "Son, you are an inspiration to us
all. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son, who had caught the 'Western' movie bug, replied,
"Daddy,I would like a cowboy outfit."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father went
and bought him Microsoft.

---