It was a hard night. I've never experienced being in the ICU section of a hospital, and hospitals in general are not places I've ever been inside of much, so it was scary, anxiety inducing, stressful and depressing.

She is on a respirator, and is so weak she's barely responsive, but when she does open her eyes, I can tell she recognizes me. They are to do a "lumbar puncture" today to check for meningitis.

Even before all this started, she told me on many occasions how glad she was that she married my daddy and had me, but she's gotten it mixed up a couple times lately and told me she's glad she married me. That's ok.

Thanks for all the well wishes. It does help me to have some idle time here and escape for a bit.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

It was a hard night. I've never experienced being in the ICU section of a hospital, and hospitals in general are not places I've ever been inside of much, so it was scary, anxiety inducing, stressful and depressing.

She is on a respirator, and is so weak she's barely responsive, but when she does open her eyes, I can tell she recognizes me. They are to do a "lumbar puncture" today to check for meningitis.

Even before all this started, she told me on many occasions how glad she was that she married my daddy and had me, but she's gotten it mixed up a couple times lately and told me she's glad she married me. That's ok.

Thanks for all the well wishes. It does help me to have some idle time here and escape for a bit.

ICU is a place of quiet and utter torment :( You have my heartfelt sympathies Gordon. I wish you both all the strength you need to get through this very tough time.

Gordon I sympathize with you, I lost My Mother to heart failure in 1998 after She had beaten cancer, My Brother and I were told that Her heart could quit, despite our instructions to the contrary on no resuscitations(Her liver was also showing signs of failure), the Hospital did so anyway and there was nothing there anymore, since the Hospital had put Her in a room with no monitoring equipment at all. My Brother paid for Mom to be cremated and I have Her ashes to this day since I can't buy a burial plot for Her, cause I get SSI since I'm severely disabled(See quote and link).

Social Security Disability Benefits(PDF file)

Who can get Social Security disability benefits?

Social Security pays benefits to people who cannot work
because they have a medical condition that is expected
to last at least one year or result in death. Federal law
requires this very strict definition of disability. While some
programs give money to people with partial disability or
short-term disability, Social Security does not.

---

The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

Gordon I sympathize with you, I lost My Mother to heart failure in 1998 after She had beaten cancer, My Brother and I were told that Her heart could quit, despite our instructions to the contrary on no resuscitations(Her liver was also showing signs of failure), the Hospital did so anyway and there was nothing there anymore, since the Hospital had put Her in a room with no monitoring equipment at all. My Brother paid for Mom to be cremated and I have Her ashes to this day since I can't buy a burial plot for Her, cause I get SSI since I'm severely disabled(See quote and link).

Social Security Disability Benefits(PDF file)

Who can get Social Security disability benefits?

Social Security pays benefits to people who cannot work
because they have a medical condition that is expected
to last at least one year or result in death. Federal law
requires this very strict definition of disability. While some
programs give money to people with partial disability or
short-term disability, Social Security does not.

SSI is "Supplemental Security Income", SSDI is "Social Security Disability Income". There is a difference.

I'm on SSDI, and qualified for Medicare upon receiving my SSDI benefits; I also qualify for Food Stamps.

Those on SSI do NOT qualify for Food Stamps. I'm unsure if they do or do not qualify for Medicare.

I may work a certain number of months at an unlimited salary range, and still qualify for SSDI, and Medicare.

Those on SSI are strictly limited as to what they may earn and still qualify for SSI.

The biggest difference is that to qualify for SSDI; one must have worked a certain number of years, paying into Social Security to be able to obtain benefits.

SSI does NOT require anyone to have worked to obtain benefits.

So, Vic, are you on SSI or SSDI?

---

TimeLord04
Have TARDIS, will travel...
Come along K-9!
Join Calm Chaos

Gordon I sympathize with you, I lost My Mother to heart failure in 1998 after She had beaten cancer, My Brother and I were told that Her heart could quit, despite our instructions to the contrary on no resuscitations(Her liver was also showing signs of failure), the Hospital did so anyway and there was nothing there anymore, since the Hospital had put Her in a room with no monitoring equipment at all. My Brother paid for Mom to be cremated and I have Her ashes to this day since I can't buy a burial plot for Her, cause I get SSI since I'm severely disabled(See quote and link).

Social Security Disability Benefits(PDF file)

Who can get Social Security disability benefits?

Social Security pays benefits to people who cannot work
because they have a medical condition that is expected
to last at least one year or result in death. Federal law
requires this very strict definition of disability. While some
programs give money to people with partial disability or
short-term disability, Social Security does not.

SSI is "Supplemental Security Income", SSDI is "Social Security Disability Income". There is a difference.

I'm on SSDI, and qualified for Medicare upon receiving my SSDI benefits; I also qualify for Food Stamps.

Those on SSI do NOT qualify for Food Stamps. I'm unsure if they do or do not qualify for Medicare.

I may work a certain number of months at an unlimited salary range, and still qualify for SSDI, and Medicare.

Those on SSI are strictly limited as to what they may earn and still qualify for SSI.

The biggest difference is that to qualify for SSDI; one must have worked a certain number of years, paying into Social Security to be able to obtain benefits.

SSI does NOT require anyone to have worked to obtain benefits.

So, Vic, are you on SSI or SSDI?

I get SSI(as I said earlier), in California one does not qualify for food stamps, it's cause of a dispute between the state of California and the SSA/USDA(California wants to give Food Stamps to SSI recipients who live on SSI only incomes(like I do) and deny food stamps in Mixed income situations, SSA/USDA rejects this idea) that's why no food stamps for those on SSI within CA, outside CA people who get SSI get Food Stamps.

I get Medi-Cal(Medicaid in the other 49 states), Medicare I won't get until either I get My social security benefits in about 8 years or when I feel like filing there after.

The Medical Requirements according to the SSA for both SSDI and SSI are the same and very strict, from there on both programs differ.

---

The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

It was a hard night. I've never experienced being in the ICU section of a hospital, and hospitals in general are not places I've ever been inside of much, so it was scary, anxiety inducing, stressful and depressing.

She is on a respirator, and is so weak she's barely responsive, but when she does open her eyes, I can tell she recognizes me. They are to do a "lumbar puncture" today to check for meningitis.

Even before all this started, she told me on many occasions how glad she was that she married my daddy and had me, but she's gotten it mixed up a couple times lately and told me she's glad she married me. That's ok.

Thanks for all the well wishes. It does help me to have some idle time here and escape for a bit.

I, too, have known that feeling. Glad we could help.

My Mother was alert and lucid up until the day the cancer won, but there were a couple of episodes where she thought I was Dad. Even with my grey beard...

Praying for your Mother to have either a full recovery or a quick, painless departure, and for you, God's Grace and the strength to deal with whatever comes.

---

Donald
Infernal Optimist / Submariner, retired

Gordon I sympathize with you, I lost My Mother to heart failure in 1998 after She had beaten cancer, My Brother and I were told that Her heart could quit, despite our instructions to the contrary on no resuscitations(Her liver was also showing signs of failure), the Hospital did so anyway and there was nothing there anymore, since the Hospital had put Her in a room with no monitoring equipment at all. My Brother paid for Mom to be cremated and I have Her ashes to this day since I can't buy a burial plot for Her, cause I get SSI since I'm severely disabled.

I'm very sorry about what happened with your mother. It seems like the hospital would be legally liable in a case like that where she wasn't monitored properly.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Gordon I sympathize with you, I lost My Mother to heart failure in 1998 after She had beaten cancer, My Brother and I were told that Her heart could quit, despite our instructions to the contrary on no resuscitations(Her liver was also showing signs of failure), the Hospital did so anyway and there was nothing there anymore, since the Hospital had put Her in a room with no monitoring equipment at all. My Brother paid for Mom to be cremated and I have Her ashes to this day since I can't buy a burial plot for Her, cause I get SSI since I'm severely disabled.

I'm very sorry about what happened with your mother. It seems like the hospital would be legally liable in a case like that where she wasn't monitored properly.

This happened in 1998, so it's I think long past the statute of limitations and at the time I had no income to sue with.

---

The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

I'm very sorry about what happened with your mother. It seems like the hospital would be legally liable in a case like that where she wasn't monitored properly.

This happened in 1998, so it's I think long past the statute of limitations and at the time I had no income to sue with.

I understand. It's scary really how much we depend on healthcare providers to help us when we're at our most vulnerable. I know my mother is in great care right now, but I also get this "detached" sort of attitude from the staff. They are doing their job and they've seen this or a variation of this over and over. Not that they're mean - they're actually very nice people, but I get a sense that they're a little tired of my greenhorn questions.

The In-Home Health Care people called me this afternoon wondering when my mother was going to get back on their program. They weren't aware of the whole series of events that led to her being in the ICU, but it was a little frustrating because their agency is inside the hospital where she's at.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

I get SSI(as I said earlier), in California one does not qualify for food stamps, it's cause of a dispute between the state of California and the SSA/USDA(California wants to give Food Stamps to SSI recipients who live on SSI only incomes(like I do) and deny food stamps in Mixed income situations, SSA/USDA rejects this idea) that's why no food stamps for those on SSI within CA, outside CA people who get SSI get Food Stamps.

I get Medi-Cal(Medicaid in the other 49 states), Medicare I won't get until either I get My social security benefits in about 8 years or when I feel like filing there after.

The Medical Requirements according to the SSA for both SSDI and SSI are the same and very strict, from there on both programs differ.

Since most people on SSDI and SSI financially qualify for Food Stamps; I personally disagree with the decision to deny people on SSI Food Stamps. I hope, one day, that this gets rectified. Also, Food Stamps have their own requirements and regulations... I as an individual, on SSDI, at my income and medical expense level, qualify for maximum Food Stamp benefits; however, that only equates to $189.00/Month. That is a tight budget for one to live on, with food prices continually going up. Especially, (as I've mentioned in other Threads, before), since about half of my SSDI goes to Medicare and Medigap Insurances. I currently have no available income to pay rent; hence my need to live with my parents.

SSI budgets are, (I believe), even tighter than my SSDI. I don't know how you manage to pay rent, and get food every month, Vic. My hat's off to you for making it all work. Especially when dealing with Medi-Cal, too. Unless one's income is EXTREMELY low, there is usually a "Share of Cost" associated with those on Medi-Cal.

---

TimeLord04
Have TARDIS, will travel...
Come along K-9!
Join Calm Chaos

Gordan, When my 2nd wife was in ICU for 13 days slowly dying. I got to know the day nurse that was watching over my wife. I to thought that the nurses seemed detached. They are not. Most time they get to interact with a patient. My wife was in a coma for the 13 days so they interacted with me. The feel the hurt when a patient dies. Granted not like the loved ones do. They they see it all the time. I cant imagein the emptional toll, That must take out of them. I would say the all have some degree of PTSD.

You have all our support and well wishes.

---

[/quote]

Old James

Normaly I dont mind off topic posts as its natural in communicating. However I will not tolerate a debate about SSI and or SSDI or whatever else you call it in this thread.

Any of those posts after this warning will get my red X to have them removed.

---

[/quote]

Old James

Gordan, When my 2nd wife was in ICU for 13 days slowly dying. I got to know the day nurse that was watching over my wife. I to thought that the nurses seemed detached. They are not. Most time they get to interact with a patient. My wife was in a coma for the 13 days so they interacted with me. The feel the hurt when a patient dies. Granted not like the loved ones do. They they see it all the time. I cant imagein the emptional toll, That must take out of them. I would say the all have some degree of PTSD.

You have all our support and well wishes.

My Mother's Oncologist was also her Primary Care doctor for about 4 years before she was diagnosed with cancer. Her previous doctor retired, and the oncologist is a family friend - a high school classmate of mine and the son of our family Pediatrician. He and his medical partner take a 1-2 week vacation with their families about every 2-3 months, to decompress and maintain their sanity. Of course they alternate, so one is always there to cover the other.

Couple of years ago I was at a dinner honoring local Veterans who had recieved the Silver Star for Valor in Combat. The Keynote speaker was Col. Crandall, USA Retired, who recieved the Medal of Honor for flying Medi-Vac helicopter missions during the battle of Ia Drang Valley in Viet Nam (See the book or movie "We Were Soldiers Once, And Young"). His wife had died a few years earlier, and he mentioned in passing that anyone who had lost a loved one probably had PTSD. I wouldn't argue with him.....

---

Donald
Infernal Optimist / Submariner, retired

I kind of see now that what I initially thought of as detachment is just professionalism. I've had time to talk to these people in ICU, and they really do care about my mother as a human being and have told me things that a cold and detached person would not.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

I kind of see now that what I initially thought of as detachment is just professionalism. I've had time to talk to these people in ICU, and they really do care about my mother as a human being and have told me things that a cold and detached person would not.

My sister is a nurse. She's a very caring person. The people there know what they do I'm sure:) You can only do this job when you have the caring in you I think.

---

rOZZ
Music
Pictures

I kind of see now that what I initially thought of as detachment is just professionalism. I've had time to talk to these people in ICU, and they really do care about my mother as a human being and have told me things that a cold and detached person would not.

My sister is a nurse. She's a very caring person. The people there know what they do I'm sure:) You can only do this job when you have the caring in you I think.

So was My Sister in law, She's a retired RN that was married to My Brother. And I agree they are very caring, especially when it's your ex who needs caring for as He lays dying from cancer/emphysema. :(

---

The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

I kind of see now that what I initially thought of as detachment is just professionalism. I've had time to talk to these people in ICU, and they really do care about my mother as a human being and have told me things that a cold and detached person would not.

My sister is a nurse. She's a very caring person. The people there know what they do I'm sure:) You can only do this job when you have the caring in you I think.

So was My Sister in law, She's a retired RN that was married to My Brother. And I agree they are very caring, especially when it's your ex who needs caring for as He lays dying from cancer/emphysema. :(

Sorry to hear Vic:(

---

rOZZ
Music
Pictures

I kind of see now that what I initially thought of as detachment is just professionalism. I've had time to talk to these people in ICU, and they really do care about my mother as a human being and have told me things that a cold and detached person would not.

My sister is a nurse. She's a very caring person. The people there know what they do I'm sure:) You can only do this job when you have the caring in you I think.

So was My Sister in law, She's a retired RN that was married to My Brother. And I agree they are very caring, especially when it's your ex who needs caring for as He lays dying from cancer/emphysema. :(

Sorry to hear Vic:(

It all ended in 2005 for My Brother, His ex and His 3 grown children have been closer with Me ever since then, just not in distance, at least not yet, I'm hoping in another 3.5 years(42 months) to fix that and live nearer to them and to the nearest social security office, the old office that served this area was closed due to mean budget cuts cause of certain insane people in Congress, I'm hoping Congress gets fixed in 2014, so until I am able to move, I will have to put up with a few more bugs, noisy neighbor who may have been evicted, etc, etc.

---

The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

I kind of see now that what I initially thought of as detachment is just professionalism. I've had time to talk to these people in ICU, and they really do care about my mother as a human being and have told me things that a cold and detached person would not.

My sister is a nurse. She's a very caring person. The people there know what they do I'm sure:) You can only do this job when you have the caring in you I think.

So was My Sister in law, She's a retired RN that was married to My Brother. And I agree they are very caring, especially when it's your ex who needs caring for as He lays dying from cancer/emphysema. :(

Sorry to hear Vic:(

It all ended in 2005 for My Brother, His ex and His 3 grown children have been closer with Me ever since then, just not in distance, at least not yet, I'm hoping in another 3.5 years(42 months) to fix that and live nearer to them and to the nearest social security office, the old office that served this area was closed due to mean budget cuts cause of certain insane people in Congress, I'm hoping Congress gets fixed in 2014, so until I am able to move, I will have to put up with a few more bugs, noisy neighbor who may have been evicted, etc, etc.

Will pray it works out for you Vic. It's better to live near to your loved ones. But you have to survive on your own, that's a fact.

---

rOZZ
Music
Pictures

Bump

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[/quote]

Old James