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| Author | Message |
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 Dirk Villarreal Wittich  Send message Joined: 25 Apr 00 Posts: 2098 Credit: 434,834 RAC: 0 
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Looking for a honeycruncher with a nice RAC.Preferably equipted with intel. May I add something?.....with an amazing hard drive, a solide Operations System and a software to keep me busy for a long time!! Wonder how she would look like!   
ID: 764667 ·  |
AriZonaMoon*  Send message Joined: 26 Apr 06 Posts: 5556 Credit: 1,541,289 RAC: 0 
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Looking for a honeycruncher with a nice RAC.Preferably equipted with intel. If Her operation system should keep you busy, you would have to move.. ;-) ..and since you would be busy, it doesnt matter much how she looks like, i guess.. hehe. Well.. I would prefer this; Knowledge enough to keep my OS and software working, and wise enough to spend time with me as well.. ;-)  ID: 764669 · |
The Simonator  Send message Joined: 18 Nov 04 Posts: 5700 Credit: 3,855,702 RAC: 50 
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Hmmm, on the creepy note, I take it that if your home decor looks like it came straight out of the middle ages, wall decorations consisted of mostly edged weapons and various types of whips, it would be creepy? Sounds like the back room of Ann Summers! Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge. 
ID: 764689 · |
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The Simonator Send message Joined: 18 Nov 04 Posts: 5700 Credit: 3,855,702 RAC: 50
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Reconnaissance, one has to check the ... rivals! Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.
ID: 764702 · |
Sniper  Send message Joined: 9 Jul 99 Posts: 310 Credit: 2,831,142 RAC: 0 
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Looking for a honeycruncher with a nice RAC.Preferably equipted with intel. A good enough combination of OS, Hardware and Software to keep my OS, Hardware and Software well maintained. :) But you all know that if you add Spouse 1.0, all the other programs are going to crash eventually. 
ID: 765117 · |
Fuzzy Hollynoodles  Send message Joined: 3 Apr 99 Posts: 9659 Credit: 251,998 RAC: 0 |
Looking for a honeycruncher with a nice RAC.Preferably equipted with intel. For the programmers/geeks: In Javascript: How to meet the woman of your dreams. { if (WomanOfDreamsProximity == "Close") { VoicePitch = VoicePitch - 10db; EyeStatus = "Wink"; if (Hair == "Messy") { SpitOnHand(StyleHair); } Spray(BreathFreshener); if (BreathFreshenerDestination == "Eyeball") { CryLikeABaby(); Run(away); exit; } loop while (DistanceToWoman > 0) { if ((DistanceToWoman mod 2) = 0) { MoveLeftFoot(forward); } else { MoveRightFoot(forward); } } Begin(Conversation); if (ConversationResponse == "Hostile") { exit; } else { Giggle(LikeSchoolgirl); InviteWoman(Home); } } In PHP: Dating //Love making $mname = $_GET['man_name']; $fname = $_GET['woman_name']; $select_status = mysql_query("SELECT * FROM love_life WHERE name = $mname"); $man = mysql_fetch_array($select_status); $select_lover = mysql_query("SELECT * FROM love_life WHERE name = $fname"); $woman = mysql_fetch_array($select_lover); function date($man, $woman){ while($man['money'] > 0){ $sanity = $man['sanity']; $sanity++; if ($nameYouCalledOut != $woman['name']){ // oops! $panic = quickCoverItUp(); if ($panic == true){ echo "Phew."; } else { $ahcrap = breakItOffClean(); } } if ($dates_kept > $dates_missed){ // Good boy, you get a cookie $desire = $woman['desire']; $desire++; } if ($dates_kept < $dates_missed){ $rage = $woman['scorn']; $rage += 1000; $sanity--; } if($timetogether > $howlongshewillwait){ // Get your act together! :o $uhoh = popTheQuestion(); if ($uhoh = "Yes"){ $result = woohooHoneymoon(); } else { $result = findTheLotionAgain(); } } } } In C#: The Proposal Event private void lovelyGirl_Propose(LoveSick Ashik, Girls.Proposal.ReactionEventArgs e) { try { bool Result = System.Love.Proposal(Ashik,lovelyGirl); if(Result) MessageBox.Show("Yes!!! Live happily ever after"); } catch(SlapWithChappelException objProposalError) { Logger.Write(objProposalError.Message,Logger.LogType.Error); MessageBox.Show("Oh! at last she reacts"); } catch(SlapWithHandsException objProposalError) { Logger.Write(objProposalError.Message,Logger.LogType.Error); MessageBox.Show("Better book that Chapels, great improvement"); } catch(CallsBoyFriendException objProposalError) { Logger.Write(objProposalError.Message,Logger.LogType.Error); MessageBox.Show("System busy, try after some time"); } catch(CallsHusbandException objProposalError) { Logger.Write(objProposalError.Message,Logger.LogType.Error); MessageBox.Show("Unhandled Exception"); exit(0); } catch(RejectedDesentlyException objProposalError) { Logger.Write(objProposalError.Message,Logger.LogType.Error); MessageBox.Show("Best Luck Next Time"); } } For the not very old programmer/geek: In C++: Prom? #include <iostream.h> int main(); { //var char theirname[]; char myname[]; char ans; event = Prom; //input cout<<"Your Name: "<<endl; cin>>myname[]; cout<<"Their Name: "<<endl; cin>>theirname[]; //Question cout<<"Will you,"<<theirname<<" goto,"event<<"with"<<yourname<<endl; cin>>ans; return 0; } "I'm trying to maintain a shred of dignity in this world." - Me 
ID: 765443 · |
Jeffrey  Send message Joined: 21 Nov 03 Posts: 4793 Credit: 26,029 RAC: 0 |
LOL... ;)  It may not be 1984 but George Orwell sure did see the future . . .
ID: 765450 · |
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Jeff Send message Joined: 29 May 08 Posts: 34 Credit: 9,265 RAC: 0
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You know, a wise man once said, "Arranged marriages happen all the time between old men and young women, However, in tribal customs, a man cannot marry until he has passed the rituals to be called a man. I do believe native women get the better part of the arrangement, for they get a strong, brave man." Now, my point is this, since 'civilized' man did away with the rights of passage to prove a man's ability as a protector and provider, AND did away with the custom of stealing a bride to again prove bravery, I believe it has contributed greatly to the problems with divorce and infidelity today. Now, to remedy this problem, I propose that we put all women of marriageable age in an enclosed are of say, 1000 acres. Actually put them in a comfortable compound somewhere in that area. Now in order for the men looking for wives to earn one, he must overcome obstacles. Now, after much thought, I feel that releasing carnivorous animals in the compound, setting up various booby traps that one would find in a VERY hostile environment, and finally, the compound where the women are is surrounded by man traps, 20 foot high fences, ditches with razor wire, that he must get passed in order to claim a bride. I feel that this procedure will 1) probably prevent most of the abusive men from trying, 2) Insure that the men who succeed are intelligent, brave and strong, 3) Insure that those people who should not contribute to the gene pool (you know the ones, the guy that his hand into a grass discharger while the lawn mower is running, the guy that they were thinking about when they put the warning label on the adult superman costume,"the cape does not give wearer the ability to fly") Thus, we put natural selection back into human development. One more thing, all women of proper age and with the lack of mental impairment would be involved, if they desire. All males who make it to the compound MUST chose a bride, and all marriages are final unless the female choses otherwise. Now, while the women are waiting for the men, I feel that they should be pampered, you know the total spa treatment. I am still debating on giving the women some sort of club to really make the males work for a wife, if anyone has any thoughts..... ID: 765469 · |
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Dirk Villarreal Wittich Send message Joined: 25 Apr 00 Posts: 2098 Credit: 434,834 RAC: 0
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I´ve been told Texans say something like this: Rope her, throw her and brand her.....Yahooooooooooooo!
ID: 766363 · |
Matthew Love  Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0
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I´ve been told Texans say something like this: Sounds about right :o)   LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 766533 · |
Uli  Send message Joined: 6 Feb 00 Posts: 10923 Credit: 5,996,015 RAC: 1 
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We are not cows. Some of us have nice claws, so watch out... Pluto will always be a planet to me.  Seti Ambassador Not to late to order an Anni Shirt ID: 766568 · |
Dune_Finkleberry  Send message Joined: 25 Feb 06 Posts: 6454 Credit: 198,656 RAC: 0
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We are not cows. Some of us have nice claws, so watch out...  Tell 'em uli!!Account frozen... ID: 766748 · |
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Dirk Villarreal Wittich Send message Joined: 25 Apr 00 Posts: 2098 Credit: 434,834 RAC: 0
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We are not cows. Some of us have nice claws, so watch out... I can already see both of you are not cows: one is a dog, the other one a goat!!! Sorry I don´t use smileys!
ID: 766823 · |
Dr. C.E.T.I.  Send message Joined: 29 Feb 00 Posts: 16019 Credit: 794,685 RAC: 0
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We are not cows. Some of us have nice claws, so watch out...   BOINC Wiki . . .Science Status Page . . . ID: 766833 · |
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AriZonaMoon* Send message Joined: 26 Apr 06 Posts: 5556 Credit: 1,541,289 RAC: 0
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We are not cows. Some of us have nice claws, so watch out... Who can say? lol.. im a coconut.. right now it doesnt show on my avatar, but i surely am. And whats wrong with cows? ;-) The thing is that we are all different, and we should be. Also, a cow will mostly look for a cow, and a goat for a goat.. or am I wrong? ;-) ID: 766845 · |
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Sniper Send message Joined: 9 Jul 99 Posts: 310 Credit: 2,831,142 RAC: 0
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We are not cows. Some of us have nice claws, so watch out... Does that mean that I am a FOX? LOL
ID: 767031 · |
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AriZonaMoon* Send message Joined: 26 Apr 06 Posts: 5556 Credit: 1,541,289 RAC: 0
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We are not cows. Some of us have nice claws, so watch out... You tell me.. ;-) ID: 767032 · |
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Dune_Finkleberry Send message Joined: 25 Feb 06 Posts: 6454 Credit: 198,656 RAC: 0
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Cow? Oh, Oh..... Another set of sharp claws. Account frozen... ID: 767079 · |
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Uli Send message Joined: 6 Feb 00 Posts: 10923 Credit: 5,996,015 RAC: 1
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We are not cows. Some of us have nice claws, so watch out... Does the fox thinks he is in the henhouse, or trying to get to get in? Pluto will always be a planet to me. Seti Ambassador Not to late to order an Anni Shirt ID: 767215 · |
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Sniper Send message Joined: 9 Jul 99 Posts: 310 Credit: 2,831,142 RAC: 0
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We are not cows. Some of us have nice claws, so watch out... Hmmmm.... Not many henhouses around here.... Maybe I should move to Nevada.... LOL
ID: 767347 · |
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