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THE Joke Thread . . . CLOSED
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Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. Woody Allen LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
klc53* Send message Joined: 14 Nov 07 Posts: 3052 Credit: 7,320,707 RAC: 0 |
Q: What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? A: Mechanical engineers build weapons; civil engineers build targets. |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night. One was assaulted. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
klc53* Send message Joined: 14 Nov 07 Posts: 3052 Credit: 7,320,707 RAC: 0 |
Q: How many IT guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, that's a Facilities problem. |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!" LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
A default Sans Serif font walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your type here! LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
John McLeod VII Send message Joined: 15 Jul 99 Posts: 24806 Credit: 790,712 RAC: 0 |
Q: How many IT guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? I heard that originally as: How many Software Engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None: Thats a hardware problem. BOINC WIKI |
Dr. C.E.T.I. Send message Joined: 29 Feb 00 Posts: 16019 Credit: 794,685 RAC: 0 |
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Dr. C.E.T.I. Send message Joined: 29 Feb 00 Posts: 16019 Credit: 794,685 RAC: 0 |
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Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!" LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
klc53* Send message Joined: 14 Nov 07 Posts: 3052 Credit: 7,320,707 RAC: 0 |
Be Careful Out There: IDIOT SIGHTING: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.." We haven't used Sears repair since. |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
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zoom3+1=4 Send message Joined: 30 Nov 03 Posts: 65765 Credit: 55,293,173 RAC: 49 |
Those that won't help bail out leaky boats are doomed to sink and freeze to death. :o The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's |
klc53* Send message Joined: 14 Nov 07 Posts: 3052 Credit: 7,320,707 RAC: 0 |
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Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
E*TRADE banking baby and friends The commericals are too funny. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
klc53* Send message Joined: 14 Nov 07 Posts: 3052 Credit: 7,320,707 RAC: 0 |
E*TRADE banking baby and friends Yes, they have me with tears in my eyes...and I think it's the little fellow that makes it work so well. |
klc53* Send message Joined: 14 Nov 07 Posts: 3052 Credit: 7,320,707 RAC: 0 |
Our son's the coolest. We named him Owen 'cause that's what we figured we'll be doing for the rest of our lives. |
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