Storm sirens over Taylorville

Area scientists ponder unique, historic storm

By Scott Maruna

During heavy summer storms, central Illinois has been showered, at least metaphorically, with more than its share of cats and dogs. But once, in what must have been the most unusual downpour in this region's history, it rained so hard that it rained amphibians - and these creatures weren't just figures of speech.

The unexpected payload of heavy precipitation rained down near Taylorville during a late-night storm on June 4, 1869. Steady rains had pummeled the area for several days, and the saturated ground was spotted with puddles and pools. Residents just north of Taylorville woke Saturday morning to more than mud and standing water, though. Springfield's Illinois State Register reported that every ditch, brook, puddle, and pool was alive with nondescript "serpents" in numbers "beyond all estimate."... more

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Locals told not to approach dung-spraying buffalo

Locals in Hampshire have been told not to approach six missing water buffalo as "they are able to spray dung across large distances".

The buffalo were last seen in a field in Lower Pennington Lane, Lymington earlier this week.

Police believe the animals were stolen because there was no trail of tell-tale dung at the scene.

According to BBC online a police spokesman said: "They should not be approached from behind... as the animals are able to spray dung across large distances."

The majority of water buffalo are to be found in Asia but have been increasingly used in the UK to produce speciality milk, cheese and yoghurts.

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

Early closing thwarts bankrobber

A bankobber was left empty-handed when he turned up ten minutes late and found the branch had already closed for the day.

Staff at the Podravska Bank in Zagreb, Croatia, told police they were just getting ready to go home when they heard the doors rattling and saw a masked man holding a gun trying to get in.

Police spokesman Davor Tor said: "Most banks here open until 7pm but this robber obviously picked the wrong branch.

"Staff said even though he was wearing a mask they could tell from his movements that he was very confused to find the bank wasn't open."

Police are looking for the robber and say if caught he will be charged with attempted armed robbery.

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

Locals told not to approach dung-spraying buffalo

So the firecracker was'nt needed at al?

http://www.geocities.com/batman_927/waterski.jpg

Haiti native brings human head into U.S.

Associated Press

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. – Airport baggage screeners found a human head with teeth, hair and skin in the luggage of a woman who said she intended to ward off evil spirits with it, authorities said yesterday.

Myrlene Severe, 30, a Haitian-born permanent U.S. resident, was charged yesterday with smuggling a human head into the United States without proper documentation.

Customs and Border Protection officials found the head Thursday, after Severe arrived at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport on a Lynx International Airlines flight from Cap Haitien, Haiti, said Barbara Gonzalez, a spokeswoman for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement in Miami.

Severe told authorities she had obtained the package in Haiti for “use as a part of her voodoo beliefs,” ICE Special Agent Erick Hernandez wrote in an affidavit in support of a criminal complaint.

“Severe also stated that the purpose of the package was to ward off evil spirits,” Hernandez wrote.

Haiti native brings human head into U.S.

Associated Press

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. – Airport baggage screeners found a human head with teeth, hair and skin in the luggage of a woman who said she intended to ward off evil spirits with it, authorities said yesterday....

I wonder if the screeners at the airport in Haiti saw the... dead head. They probly did but didn't make too much of it since voodoo is common over there.

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Myrlene Severe, 30, a Haitian-born permanent U.S. resident, was charged yesterday with smuggling a human head into the United States without proper documentation.

I want to know what forms I need to fill out to legally smuggle a human head into the US.

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I'd rather speak my mind because it hurts too much to bite my tongue.

American Spirit BBQ Proudly Serving those that courageously defend freedom.

Toilet roll falls foul of cutbacks

Civil servants in Romania are outraged after their boss told them to use newspapers and magazines instead of toilet paper.

Paraschiv Usturoiu, who is in charge of the Department of Culture in Vrancea county, came up with the idea to save money.

He told 7 Plus newspaper: "I can't afford to buy toilet paper any more so I cut some local newspapers into pieces and placed them in the toilets. I'm sure they'll work just fine."

But the department's employees say they are offended by the cost-cutting measure and have asked him to reconsider.

One woman said: "This is an outrage. It's degrading and we can hurt ourselves or get infected from that ink they use for printing newspapers."

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

Thief throws away valuable haul

A thief who stole two valuable paintings from a church threw away the canvases believing only the frames were worth anything.

Police in Herman in the Czech Republic are now looking for the thief after they recovered the paintings, which date back to the Baroque period and are worth over £25,000, a few yards from the church.

Officers say the thief made a huge mistake because the wooden frames, although appearing to be valuable, are worth no more than a few hundred pounds at most, reported daily newspaper Blesk.

Police chief Josef Backovsky said: "The thief was obviously only interested in the very ornate frames and had no idea how much the pictures themselves were actually worth."

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

He told 7 Plus newspaper: "I can't afford to buy toilet paper any more so I cut some local newspapers into pieces and placed them in the toilets. I'm sure they'll work just fine."

I am sure that the newspaper companies he talked to appreciated how they were assisting in this idiot cost cutting measures

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I'd rather speak my mind because it hurts too much to bite my tongue.

American Spirit BBQ Proudly Serving those that courageously defend freedom.

Myrlene Severe, 30, a Haitian-born permanent U.S. resident, was charged yesterday with smuggling a human head into the United States without proper documentation.

I want to know what forms I need to fill out to legally smuggle a human head into the US.

I'm not really sure CW, but you could try looking at Customs. LOL.

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Toilet roll falls foul of cutbacks

Civil servants in Romania are outraged after their boss told them to use newspapers and magazines instead of toilet paper.

Paraschiv Usturoiu, who is in charge of the Department of Culture in Vrancea county, came up with the idea to save money....

I would NOT use newspaper for THAT purpose.

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Toilet roll falls foul of cutbacks

Civil servants in Romania are outraged after their boss told them to use newspapers and magazines instead of toilet paper.

Paraschiv Usturoiu, who is in charge of the Department of Culture in Vrancea county, came up with the idea to save money....

I would NOT use newspaper for THAT purpose.

That depends on exactly how desperate you are.

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BOINC WIKI

Toilet roll falls foul of cutbacks

Civil servants in Romania are outraged after their boss told them to use newspapers and magazines instead of toilet paper.

Paraschiv Usturoiu, who is in charge of the Department of Culture in Vrancea county, came up with the idea to save money....

I would NOT use newspaper for THAT purpose.

That depends on exactly how desperate you are.

You HAVE a point. But the thought (aahh!).

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USA
Cheney shoots fellow hunter

Mon, 13 Feb 2006
US Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a 78-year-old man while the two of them were hunting on a ranch in southern Texas, Cheney's office said on Sunday.

Cheney spokesperson Lea Anne McBride confirmed a news account that Cheney had turned to shoot quail that had just been flushed but instead inadvertently peppered Harry Whittington with shotgun pellets, striking one side of his body.

The incident occurred around 5:30 pm (2330 GMT) on Saturday at the Armstrong Ranch, where the vice president is a frequent visitor, according to an eyewitness account in the local newspaper the Corpus Christi Caller-Times.

Katharine Armstrong, owner of the ranch, said Whittington was taken to Christus Spohn Hospital Memorial by ambulance, the newspaper reported.

Armstrong said Cheney (65) had not noticed that Whittington had approached him from behind. "Nobody wants this to happen, but it does," she told the Caller-Times.

Armstrong said the vice president's secret service security detail had tended to the wounded man, according to the newspaper.

"The vice president this afternoon visited with Mister Whittington," said McBride, who vouched for the report but would not say whether their meeting had taken place at the hospital.

Cheney's office did not disclose the incident when it took place.

CNN television, citing a witness, said that Whittington had "never lost consciousness."

The wounded man was "doing well and in stable condition," hospital spokesperson Peter Banko told CNN.

The vice president returned to Washington on Sunday, NBC News reported.

Whittington, an attorney, gave the maximum $2000 to the 2004 reelection campaign of Cheney and US President George W. Bush, according to the Centre for Responsive Politics non-profit organisation.

In 1999, Bush, who at the time was governor of Texas, appointed Whittington to the Texas Funeral Service Commission, according to the New York Times.

In January 2004, a Cheney duck-hunting trip in Louisiana with US Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia drew accusations of impropriety because the high court was set to hear a case involving the vice president's energy task force.

In late 2003, Cheney drew criticism for a pheasant hunt at an exclusive club in Pennsylvania, when he reportedly shot 70 of the birds, because of a news report that they had been released from nets.

AFP

Es, don't get any ideas ;-)

Teacher ordered pupils to lick floor clean

A Russian teacher faces two years in jail after ordering her students to lick clean the floor of a classroom.

Irina Gorova has been suspended from her school in Zolotaya Dolina for forcing all her male pupils to lick up all the marks and stains on the floor, reports Pravda.

Anna K, mother of 10-year-old Zhenya said: "My sonny came home crying and shaking like a leaf."

The 35-year-old teacher has refused to comment but her colleagues believe the pupils may have made up the story to divert their parents' attention from their poor grades.

Deputy prosecutor Denis Biktudin said: "She might be sentenced to two years in jail. The teacher will be kept suspended from her duties until the investigation is completed."

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

Not for those with weak stomachs:

Pencil in penis backfires

A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after sticking a pencil inside his penis to keep it stiff during sex.

Zeljko Tupic, from Belgrade, told doctors he had experienced erectile difficulties in the past.

So as he prepared for a night with his new lover, he decided to insert a thin pencil into his penis.

Tupic had to cut his sex session short when the pencil shifted and became lodged in his bladder, forcing him to call an ambulance, the daily Kurir reported.

Doctor Aleksandar Milosevic from Belgrade's Zvezdara hospital, who succesfully removed the pencil, said: "At first the patient did not tell us what really happened, but x-rays proved the truth.

"Tupic said he had no idea there were things like Viagra available but agreed that in future he will try pills before he takes any more chances with pencils."

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

Pork dumplings, politics and porn
February 13 2006 at 07:36AM

New York - First there were pork dumplings, then there was politics. Then there was porn.

A fundraiser hosted by a Brooklyn political leader last week caused red faces when guests at the event in a Chinese restaurant opened fortune cookies with X-rated messages.

"The insertions in some of the cookies were really triple-X, graphic sex, can't be repeated," Brooklyn Borough president Marty Markowitz said about the mix-up at the Ming Gee restaurant.

"They were probably meant for a very raunchy bachelor party."

Some 350 sexually explicit suggestions, such as "One good (expletive) deserves another", were among nearly 17 500 more mundane messages at the Chinese New Year affair that raised money to send poor children to summer camp.
- Reuters

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If the sand-covered shoe fits... grab it!
February 13 2006 at 02:43AM

The Hague - Thousands of shoes have washed up on the beaches of the Dutch island of Terschelling, to the delight of local residents who are scrambling over each other to find matching pairs, security forces said on Saturday.

The shoes were among many sundry objects, including toys, aluminium trunks, raincoats and even joints of meat, which fell into the sea when a container ship shed part of its load in a storm on Thursday night.

Police and security forces were sent to the scene to prevent inhabitants from making off with containers which were still intact, but they were allowing people to help themselves to anything which had spilled out.

Press reports said the ship had lost as many as 55 containers.

The only phantom at the feast, according to the daily Volksrant, was the owner of the beachfront's new shoe shop.
- Sapa-AFP

Pencil in penis backfires

And some wonders why there's patients who have difficulties talking with their doctor? :)
When your full name and location is revealed in the world press after such an incident, I'm not at all surpriced that people don't trust doctors...