I'm Better Than That

Hi back, Fuzzy Hollynoodles,

You wrote

I'm not Jonathan Ian (Mathers) who wrote this lyric.

Well, good heavens, I should have checked your profile rather than assuming that the attribution line was a signature block. At any rate, the comments still apply to the song. I'm glad that I didn't say something really stupid, such as, "Gee, Jonathan, you really should release an album."

Best,

"I'm trying to maintain a shred of dignity in this world." - Me

We're Better Than That

And I have a strange feeling that he [Jonathan Ian] actually reads here.

The Party's Over

the bar is empty
an empty beer stands alone
on a vacant table
left by someone who's gone
the night is over
the morning has come
my eyes are weary
it's time to move on

i'm stone cold sober
as i look at the scene
like a thousand barrooms
that i've seen in my dreams
the party noises
have faded and gone
the party's over
it's time to move on

(2007 db michel)

The Party's Over

an empty beer stands alone
on a vacant table
left by someone who's gone

i'm stone cold sober
as i look at the scene
like a thousand barrooms
that i've seen in my dreams

Hey Daniel,

In

The Party's Over

you wrote

an empty beer stands alone
on a vacant table
left by someone who's gone

I can not imagine words put together better than you did here. The slant rime and the open vowels give such a visceral sense of emptiness. Sounds hokey, I know, but these lines made me hurt for all the people left to go home alone at closing time. How exactly did you come to write so well? Such as these lines:

i'm stone cold sober
as i look at the scene
like a thousand barrooms
that i've seen in my dreams

Good heavens, the wallop that words can bring.

Thank you so very much for your comments!...The lines came from the melancholy feeling i had when i wrote them.

Daniel,

You said

Thank you so very much for your comments!...The lines came from the melancholy feeling i had when i wrote them.

You probably know this famous quote already, but Wordsworth said that poetry comes from "the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings from emotions recollected in tranquility." For the most part, people remember the "spontaneous overflow" part of this quote, but they forget about the "tranquility" part.

I have been studying your poetry over the past couple days, and I see that you have really brought tranquility under control, at least in your poetry. In this poem, for example, although you speak of an immediate situation, clearly you do so with a voice of tranquil reflection. It doesn't matter that the situation itself is painful; the reflective stance of the poem makes it bearable.

I know that these comments may sound like hogwash, and a lot of people think that poetry is too fragile to stand up to analysis, but I think that poetry is more robust than the prima donnas allow for. It's not enough that you write a good poem (and you've written a stable full); you also need readers who know how to read a good poem. Analysis is just another way of saying that your words are important enough for me to spend time with.

So let me get you a glass of good cabernet, then you dose in the corner armchair while I read a bit more.

Best,

By William Tomkins

And that same little mountain stream
Has always been to me
But one of Nature's many proofs
Of Immortality.

Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the school, where children strove
At recess, in the ring;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.

Or rather, be passed us;
The dews grew quivering and chill,
For only gossamer my gown,
My tippet only tulle.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.

Since then 'tis centuries, and yet each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity.

--Emily Dickinson

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"That's So Beautiful"

walkin' through a garden
runnin' in the park
chowin' on too much food
then dancing in the dark
how could it get better
when i've already seen the best
when i look at you
forget about the rest

(chorus)
that's so beautiful
(when i'm with you)
that's so wonderful
(don't need a thing)
when you call my name
like you do
like you do
(repeat)

makin' fun out of nothin'
just bein' where you are
stayin' out way too late
just cruisin' in my car
you make me feel so lucky
like the world unfolds for me
when i look at you
that's what i wanna see

(2005 db michel)

Nice poetry....
I went through a stint,
Where my poetry got bint,
Got told by the hoards,
That my opinion'd gone through the boards.
So I just back-ed off,
Let my posting get soft,
And that's just where I am now towards.

And if you just wonder why
Who it is, thee and thy,
I'll just say it is me and my kitties, Oh, My!!!

"I'm trying to maintain a shred of dignity in this world." - Me

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Pretty good stuff, huh? :)
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"I'm trying to maintain a shred of dignity in this world." - Me