Welcome to the forums, Taolin! I like that car in your profile picture.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Welcome to the forums, Taolin! I like that car in your profile picture.

Thanks! I really loved that vehicle. It was the 4th one to come into the country and was originally Ferrari Red, but it faded under the Texas sun while I was in 'Nam and Korea, so I slapped an Earl Scheib $35 battleship grey overcoat on it. (Prolly a sin and Enzio prolly still has a contract on me, but, hey it kept the rust off when I had it at the beach SCUBA diving! :)
My first ex' managed to park it between a Buick and an 18-wheeler one day,, sigh... :)

The only thing I can say is FIAT, or fix it again Tony. 124 Spyders are beautiful, handle very well , have the tin worm problem and Italian electrics. OMG fix it again Tony.

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I can't say that I ever had any aspirations to anything. I am not now, and never was a dreamer.
My first job was mowing lawn for the elderly couple across the street.
I certainly did not think about landscaping as a career.
My first 'real' job was working in a corrugating plant.
Worked at first in the plant stacking sheets, and eventually worked up to scheduler.
That all came crashing down when I was suddenly let go by a new plant manager.
I have to be honest and admit that the real cause was my manic depression which at that time was not being controlled by any medication, and also my uncontrolled alcohol abuse.
Sold electronics parts and supplies for 18 years, there was a change of management when the sole proprietor retired and sold the business to a large corporate firm. Again, my uncontrolled emotional state and alcohol abuse finally ushered me out of the door. Or perhaps booted would be a more accurate term.
I finally ended up building fire trucks. A job that makes use of my skills and knowledge of electrical devices and my innate mechanical abilities.
It is a very rewarding job, both for the work that I can see I have completed each day, and in the nature of the fact that I help build trucks that have life and property saving abilities.
I can't say that I aspired to much of anything. I pretty much just put one foot in front of the other and tried to be good at whatever the Good Lord laid out in front of me.
And He has been very good to me. He pretty much put me in the right place at the right time to be able to continue on, even when I was very much crippled by my diseases. Those are behind me now, my mind is in a better place due to medications that were not even on the market when I was a younger man. And I have been sober for over a year and a half now.
I didn't have to plan. The Lord above pretty much laid it all out in front of me.
And for that I am eternally grateful.

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"Time is simply the mechanism that keeps everything from happening all at once."

The Lord above pretty much laid it all out in front of me.

So you are saying you don't have free will? This I doubt but that what it sounds like.

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The Lord above pretty much laid it all out in front of me.

So you are saying you don't have free will? This I doubt but that what it sounds like.

No, I am saying that when I was ill able to do things that were right, the Lord laid out a path that enabled me to continue my life. I always had free will, even when exercising it was destructive to my well being.
I wish I had placed more faith in Him many years sooner.
It might have saved me a lot of grief.

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"Time is simply the mechanism that keeps everything from happening all at once."

Well I am happy things are working out for you and I do wish you well.
Crunch on.

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You have to understand the fact the my mind was compromised from birth.
Chemical inbalances. Likely caused by my mother's drinking.
Or perhaps just genetics.
I place no blame, just had dinner with my Mom this afternoon.
I started to do some research and found a drug that I thought might provide some way out of the fix my mind was in.
It is Modafinil...........very expensive.
I had to change doctors because my GP said she had no experience with it.
So I was sent to my current doc, who is half psych and half GP.
He allowed me to run with it and the clouds started to clear for the first time in 40 years.
Stopping my drinking to allow the drug to work was also a major step, but I would not have been able to take that step without the medication.

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"Time is simply the mechanism that keeps everything from happening all at once."

You've done very well, Mark. Building fire engines is worthy of childhood dreams. I always wanted to be either an astronomer or a meteorologist, but science and my lack of brain power in that area got in the way.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

You've done very well, Mark. Building fire engines is worthy of childhood dreams. I always wanted to be either an astronomer or a meteorologist, but science and my lack of brain power in that area got in the way.

Thanks, Gordon. Yes, I do find my current work rewarding.
Must admit though, the thought that I may be retiring in 5 or 6 years is a bit scary when I think about in the context of how quickly the last 13-1/2 years that have gone.

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"Time is simply the mechanism that keeps everything from happening all at once."

Having done the retirement bit for a short time, ugh! I suggest you find either part time work or volunteer regarding something you care about.

Don't get me wrong. I am not 'scared' of retirement. The concept of it is just a bit unusual to grasp, being that I have been a working man for all of my life.
And I can see myself volunteering as a 'cat petting agent' at the shelter trying to elicit purrs from the poor kitties that are there through no fault of their own. I would actually enjoy that.
After all, I have loved and cared for kitties a long long time now.

So there. After all these years, I have something I aspire to.

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"Time is simply the mechanism that keeps everything from happening all at once."

... [snip] And I can see myself volunteering as a 'cat petting agent' at the shelter trying to elicit purrs from the poor kitties that are there through no fault of their own. I would actually enjoy that.
After all, I have loved and cared for kitties a long long time now.

So there. After all these years, I have something I aspire to.

That sounds like the purrfect use of your "retirement" time when the days arrive. I could see you possibly adopting one or more of the rescues.

Why do cats purr? These comforting sounds are good for them and for us, too.

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