I lost my dad in '82, and my mother is currently going through some aging issues, in particular a pain in her back she acquired a couple weeks ago that pretty much confines her to one spot, and no walking. We just had an MRI done yesterday, and are waiting for the doctor to give us a plan. ~That's not in the same ball park as what a lot of people deal with, but it's producing quite a lot of anxiety for me. Even though my degree is psych, and I believe in counseling for many people, it's never been anything I've sought for myself, mainly because I'm afraid I'll be told something I don't want to hear, or I'll take words the wrong way.

It does help for me to read other' stories, and to share my feelings about my own situation.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

So true Anniet

+1

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I lost my dad in '82, and my mother is currently going through some aging issues, in particular a pain in her back she acquired a couple weeks ago that pretty much confines her to one spot, and no walking. We just had an MRI done yesterday, and are waiting for the doctor to give us a plan. ~That's not in the same ball park as what a lot of people deal with, but it's producing quite a lot of anxiety for me. Even though my degree is psych, and I believe in counseling for many people, it's never been anything I've sought for myself, mainly because I'm afraid I'll be told something I don't want to hear, or I'll take words the wrong way.

It does help for me to read other' stories, and to share my feelings about my own situation.

Welcome,Gordon.Thats why we have this thread. Im sorry for your dads loss. I lost mine in 08 from complications from Parkinsons. When we were told he had at the most 6 months it was a shock. He lived for 4 months.
But dont anticpate bad news. It could be something minor.

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Old James

Welcome,Gordon.Thats why we have this thread. Im sorry for your dads loss. I lost mine in 08 from complications from Parkinsons. When we were told he had at the most 6 months it was a shock. He lived for 4 months.
But dont anticpate bad news. It could be something minor.

I can't imagine being told an expiration date like that. In my mom's case, we think she has a pinched nerve, but she's been showing signs of something going on with her lower back for a couple years(her regular doctor never seemed concerned other than to say she was showing normal aging/osteoporosis). All of a sudden though, she went from poor posture to inability to walk, and it's horribly frustrating for both of us. I hope you're right and it's something minor and rest will fix her. My worries cause me to wake up a lot, drenched in sweat, so I'm not getting good rest myself. Being a 3rd shift worker, it's hard enough getting the right type of sleep. I'm very groggy right now...

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Welcome,Gordon.Thats why we have this thread. Im sorry for your dads loss. I lost mine in 08 from complications from Parkinsons. When we were told he had at the most 6 months it was a shock. He lived for 4 months.
But dont anticpate bad news. It could be something minor.

I can't imagine being told an expiration date like that. In my mom's case, we think she has a pinched nerve, but she's been showing signs of something going on with her lower back for a couple years(her regular doctor never seemed concerned other than to say she was showing normal aging/osteoporosis). All of a sudden though, she went from poor posture to inability to walk, and it's horribly frustrating for both of us. I hope you're right and it's something minor and rest will fix her. My worries cause me to wake up a lot, drenched in sweat, so I'm not getting good rest myself. Being a 3rd shift worker, it's hard enough getting the right type of sleep. I'm very groggy right now...

I'm sorry to hear this, Gordon. I hope you get rest soon; because, sleep deprivation is serious. You can't help your mother if you aren't able to function. Get some rest.

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TimeLord04
Have TARDIS, will travel...
Come along K-9!
Join Calm Chaos

Welcome,Gordon.Thats why we have this thread. Im sorry for your dads loss. I lost mine in 08 from complications from Parkinsons. When we were told he had at the most 6 months it was a shock. He lived for 4 months.
But dont anticpate bad news. It could be something minor.

I can't imagine being told an expiration date like that. In my mom's case, we think she has a pinched nerve, but she's been showing signs of something going on with her lower back for a couple years(her regular doctor never seemed concerned other than to say she was showing normal aging/osteoporosis). All of a sudden though, she went from poor posture to inability to walk, and it's horribly frustrating for both of us. I hope you're right and it's something minor and rest will fix her. My worries cause me to wake up a lot, drenched in sweat, so I'm not getting good rest myself. Being a 3rd shift worker, it's hard enough getting the right type of sleep. I'm very groggy right now...

I'm sorry to hear this, Gordon. I hope you get rest soon; because, sleep deprivation is serious. You can't help your mother if you aren't able to function. Get some rest.

That's true! Sleep is VERY important! One period after the accident I didn't sleep for 3 whole weeks. You don't want to know what thoughts I had then and how deep the depression got at that time...... You can't think straight when you don't get your sleep.
Ther are quite a few herbal remedies for insomnia, like Valerian or passiflora.

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I'm sorry to hear this, Gordon. I hope you get rest soon; because, sleep deprivation is serious. You can't help your mother if you aren't able to function. Get some rest.

That's true! Sleep is VERY important! One period after the accident I didn't sleep for 3 whole weeks. You don't want to know what thoughts I had then and how deep the depression got at that time...... You can't think straight when you don't get your sleep.
There are quite a few herbal remedies for insomnia, like Valerian or passiflora.

There's a movie, called The Machinist, that reminds me of the not sleeping thing. I can't remember if it turned out well for him or not. ~Probably not. I read something recently in The New Yorker magazine about sleeping pills, and there seems to be a growing number of scientists who think sleep is more normal(and beneficial) for our brain, and than being awake. Of course, we'd never get anything done if we were always asleep, so it's a catch-22, but I think the key is good quality over quantity, as in most things in life. I work 11 pm - 7 am, USA EST, and generally come home, crash until I wake up, which is actually only a two hour or so nap, but my brain wakes me up, and so I feel fairly refreshed for several hours, and then I go back to bed around 3 pm, and sleep until 9 pm, when my alarm clock says get up. Waking up naturally is so much healthier than being jolted out of who knows what stage of sleep by a surly alarm clock. Since I've been taking care of my mother, everything is out of whack, and I really don't get much quality rest because I'm stressed and anxious, and if she needs something, she calls out to me, which is fine, but it's discombobulating.

I've been doing the SETI project since the 2nd day I got a computer(an original iMac) but I didn't really pay any attention to the forum here until recently. I'm just trying to take my mind somewhere else right now, and it's nice to have some intelligent people out there to pass time with.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

I'm sorry to hear this, Gordon. I hope you get rest soon; because, sleep deprivation is serious. You can't help your mother if you aren't able to function. Get some rest.

That's true! Sleep is VERY important! One period after the accident I didn't sleep for 3 whole weeks. You don't want to know what thoughts I had then and how deep the depression got at that time...... You can't think straight when you don't get your sleep.
There are quite a few herbal remedies for insomnia, like Valerian or passiflora.

There's a movie, called The Machinist, that reminds me of the not sleeping thing. I can't remember if it turned out well for him or not. ~Probably not. I read something recently in The New Yorker magazine about sleeping pills, and there seems to be a growing number of scientists who think sleep is more normal(and beneficial) for our brain, and than being awake. Of course, we'd never get anything done if we were always asleep, so it's a catch-22, but I think the key is good quality over quantity, as in most things in life. I work 11 pm - 7 am, USA EST, and generally come home, crash until I wake up, which is actually only a two hour or so nap, but my brain wakes me up, and so I feel fairly refreshed for several hours, and then I go back to bed around 3 pm, and sleep until 9 pm, when my alarm clock says get up. Waking up naturally is so much healthier than being jolted out of who knows what stage of sleep by a surly alarm clock. Since I've been taking care of my mother, everything is out of whack, and I really don't get much quality rest because I'm stressed and anxious, and if she needs something, she calls out to me, which is fine, but it's discombobulating.

I've been doing the SETI project since the 2nd day I got a computer(an original iMac) but I didn't really pay any attention to the forum here until recently. I'm just trying to take my mind somewhere else right now, and it's nice to have some intelligent people out there to pass time with.

Slept 3 hours last night. I need around 7 hours of sleep normally.

it's nice to have some intelligent people out there to pass time with.

Innit:)

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Hi Gordon. So sorry to hear that you're dealing with yet another one of life's nastier moments. :( That you've been there for your mum since your father died is so heartwarming. It's obvious you love her dearly. Waiting for results of medical tests can be so scary. It chucks so much adrenaline into our systems that short of setting out on a round the earth run to burn it off, you're left drained and exhausted by the mental torture of staying still and simply waiting. Pain is dreadful to experience and terrible to witness a loved one suffering from. My heart aches for you. I see it every day and it gnaws at every moment.

Insomnia or insomnmania - as I can attest to in my case anyway (you don't want to go there trust me :)) is hard to deal with. Julie I think touched on it when she talked about three what must have been hellish weeks without sleep. The worst I have ever experienced was five days and it made me very ill, so heaven knows how she must have felt after three weeks :(

I don't know what to suggest with regard to trying to increase the amount of sleep you get. I have yet to find anything that makes me feel better the following day though. I do joke about the fact that I tend to wake up several hours after I get up - but it isn't funny. It's horrible. The truth is I daren't stop even for a moment - I just keep going mindlessly on because when I don't an abyss opens up in front of me and I can't see anything else but it, so I go into a panic meltdown. Try not to go there yourself... although it sounds like you might have already and I'm so sorry if you have. :(

Try the herbal remedies suggested in a previous post. They may work for you. I'm sorry I cannot give you any advice of my own - other than be kind to yourself... and you're not alone. Best wishes, Anniet

...so I go into a panic meltdown. Try not to go there yourself... although it sounds like you might have already and I'm so sorry if you have. :(

Try the herbal remedies suggested in a previous post. They may work for you. I'm sorry I cannot give you any advice of my own - other than be kind to yourself... and you're not alone. Best wishes, Anniet

In coping with stress, past, present, unknown, I think we all have varying degrees of coping abilities, and we can learn new strategies from each other. Right this very second, my method is using work as a focus, or as a constructive escape from whatever is bothering me. And simply typing in this little thread helps too.

I'm trying to stay healthy in every way, so I will definitely look into suggestions on natural sleep aids.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

...so I go into a panic meltdown. Try not to go there yourself... although it sounds like you might have already and I'm so sorry if you have. :(

Try the herbal remedies suggested in a previous post. They may work for you. I'm sorry I cannot give you any advice of my own - other than be kind to yourself... and you're not alone. Best wishes, Anniet

In coping with stress, past, present, unknown, I think we all have varying degrees of coping abilities, and we can learn new strategies from each other. Right this very second, my method is using work as a focus, or as a constructive escape from whatever is bothering me. And simply typing in this little thread helps too.

I'm trying to stay healthy in every way, so I will definitely look into suggestions on natural sleep aids.

As a former 3rd shifter of seven years( Im now on second since June of 13 ) May I give you some advice?

Ive mostly been a second shifter my whole working life. When I had to go to 3rd shift I thought I could come home and and go to bed. Well id didnt work. So I stayed up a few hours and went to bed by 9:00 AM. I get up at 5 PM and spend some time with my wife. I was allways tired slept at lunch time and every break at work. Then I fell asleep at the wheel coming home from work. And I was only a 1000 feet from my driveway. I went off the side of the road and woke up enough to just barley miss a telephone pole, but still hit a mailbox. It cost me $600. buck from my own pocket to get a purple fender and a new windshield for my car. And my car was black.

I made the choice that I had to go to bed later and get up later. My hours weer from 10:30 PM untill 6:30 AM. (We had a payed lunch.)
So I went to bed at 1:00 Pm everyday and got up at 9:20 PM.
You need to get room darkening blinds. The kind I got were so good, On a summer sunshine day my room was pitch black.
Its tough being a 3rd shifter, You get to hear lawnmowers and idiots with car radios you can hear for miles, And kids getting off the school bus. I used white noise from an overhead fan to try and not hear the other noise.

The only ggod thing about 3rd shift is you can be the first at a Doctor or Dentist appointment.
And going to work on a Sunday used to frost me.

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Old James

The only good thing about 3rd shift is you can be the first at a Doctor or Dentist appointment.

That is 100% correct. I love that part of it. There are some other advantages, but in general it has turned me into a recluse. And spending my days over at my mother's house to help her has definitely messed up whatever routine worked for me. As my mother likes to say though, and I like her attitude, "I'm doing the best I can", which we both are.

My bedroom at my house is pretty well insulated from light and noise, and I like to read or watch tv to lull me asleep.

I totally understand the tired feeling driving home from work. I luckily only have a three mile commute, but I'm not as alert as I should be.

There's an old abandoned railroad bridge on the river here that has just recently been converted for pedestrian use, and walking it helps me relax and improves my mood, so I need to find a place for that in a daily routine. Falling asleep in a restless state of mind is bad.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Don't know if this will help, but after my colleagues in the transport industry kept complaining on how cheerful I was on a Thursday, they tried it and it worked for most.

Except military service, most of my working life has been working nights. I had the same problem sleeping, what made it worse for me was having six sisters. the racket was.....

Come Wednesday, no matter what I went to bed early and after getting into the habit, enjoyed a great mid-week rest making the rest of the week go okay.

Ending up working the early shifts (4am starts) and behind the wheel of various tonnage trucks, I make sure to continue that mid week rest. So far it still works.

The only problem I experience is doing the day shift, I find myself tired at the wheel so make sure I take regular breaks.

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Come Wednesday, no matter what I went to bed early and after getting into the habit, enjoyed a great mid-week rest making the rest of the week go okay.

It's amazing what a difference a good sleep makes. I haven't had one of those in awhile, but when I do, a lot of things that may have been bothering me seem easier to handle, and I'm in a better frame of mind in general.

I find staying well-hydrated helps me sleep better. I always have ice water before I hit the hay.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Come Wednesday, no matter what I went to bed early and after getting into the habit, enjoyed a great mid-week rest making the rest of the week go okay.

It's amazing what a difference a good sleep makes. I haven't had one of those in awhile, but when I do, a lot of things that may have been bothering me seem easier to handle, and I'm in a better frame of mind in general.

I find staying well-hydrated helps me sleep better. I always have ice water before I hit the hay.

Same here, a big glass of water before bed. Apples and salad are also known as good nightcaps, and they affect your dreams in a positive manner. Good to hear you had a good night sleep:)

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I finally heard from the orthopedic doctor today about my mother's MRI, and he has diagnosed her back problem as a sacral fracture, which is not something he can use his "bone cement" surgical procedure to fix. He said it will heal naturally in 8 - 12 weeks, and she should be walking(albeit painfully) during this recovery. He saw her on an ER stretcher originally in his office, and I told him she's still unable to lift herself up, so he knows how incapacitated she is, plus I told him she's very weak, and doesn't have any appetite. He coldly suggested a nursing home for recovery, but I will not do that unless she is completely in need of professional medical care, 24/7, so he said he'd have an in-home Physical Therapist get in touch with me later today.

I'm sorry for hijacking this thread a little bit, but I am stressed about what's going on, and so I'm using this forum as a sort of Big Ear.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

I'm sorry for hijacking this thread a little bit, but I am stressed about what's going on, and so I'm using this forum as a sort of Big Ear.

No apology required, Gordon. That's one of the reasons James opened this thread (with encouragement from several of us).

Better to vent your excess stress here than bottle it up until you explode or break down and can't help your mother or yourself. If you read back over the thread, you'll see that some of us have been in situations similar to yours. Maybe you'll see something we did that helps you cope.

And I'm glad to see that you now know what your mother's problem, and prognosis, is. Less uncertainty usually (but not always) means less stress.

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Donald
Infernal Optimist / Submariner, retired

Better to vent your excess stress here than bottle it up until you explode or break down and can't help your mother or yourself. If you read back over the thread, you'll see that some of us have been in situations similar to yours. Maybe you'll see something we did that helps you cope.

Ain't that the truth Donald.

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Gordan, As Donald put it a lot better than I could, You didnt hijack the thread.
You had concerns.

Dont think of this thread as the other peoples thread. Think of it as YOUR thread.
We are a very diverse group here. Our ages range from the youngins to the oldies. ( Im 61 but I hear tell some are older :) )
And Im glad to read that your mom will be fine after a healing peroid.

My wife fell a few years ago and broke her pelvis in 3 places. So yes i know about the it will take time to heal routine.

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Old James

Gordan, As Donald put it a lot better than I could, You didnt hijack the thread.
You had concerns.

Dont think of this thread as the other peoples thread. Think of it as YOUR thread.
We are a very diverse group here. Our ages range from the youngins to the oldies. ( Im 61 but I hear tell some are older :) )
And Im glad to read that your mom will be fine after a healing peroid.

My wife fell a few years ago and broke her pelvis in 3 places. So yes i know about the it will take time to heal routine.

Inner strength is very important. You have to do it yourself, no one will or rather can do it for you. They can help you in whatever process you're going through but in the end you have to do it yourself. You have to make that 'click' in your head.

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