THE Joke Thread . . . CLOSED

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Author	Message
Dr. C.E.T.I. Send message Joined: 29 Feb 00 Posts: 16019 Credit: 794,685 RAC: 0	Message 863352 - Posted: 8 Feb 2009, 0:42:25 UTC BOINC Wiki . . . Science Status Page . . . ID: 863352 ·
Dr. C.E.T.I. Send message Joined: 29 Feb 00 Posts: 16019 Credit: 794,685 RAC: 0	Message 863546 - Posted: 8 Feb 2009, 18:20:13 UTC BOINC Wiki . . . Science Status Page . . . ID: 863546 ·
Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 863565 - Posted: 8 Feb 2009, 19:37:09 UTC A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 863565 ·
Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 863568 - Posted: 8 Feb 2009, 19:40:51 UTC A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!" LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 863568 ·
klc53* Send message Joined: 14 Nov 07 Posts: 3052 Credit: 7,320,707 RAC: 0	Message 863571 - Posted: 8 Feb 2009, 19:46:28 UTC Be Careful Out There: IDIOT SIGHTING: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.." We haven't used Sears repair since. ID: 863571 ·
Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 863574 - Posted: 8 Feb 2009, 19:50:15 UTC Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 863574 ·
Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 864096 - Posted: 10 Feb 2009, 16:10:23 UTC E*TRADE banking baby and friends LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 864096 ·
klc53* Send message Joined: 14 Nov 07 Posts: 3052 Credit: 7,320,707 RAC: 0	Message 864117 - Posted: 10 Feb 2009, 16:40:46 UTC - in response to Message 864096.   E*TRADE banking baby and friends Thanks Matthew, I love that little guy! ID: 864117 ·
Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 864193 - Posted: 11 Feb 2009, 1:15:40 UTC - in response to Message 864117.   E*TRADE banking baby and friends Thanks Matthew, I love that little guy! The commericals are too funny. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 864193 ·
klc53* Send message Joined: 14 Nov 07 Posts: 3052 Credit: 7,320,707 RAC: 0	Message 864196 - Posted: 11 Feb 2009, 1:27:22 UTC - in response to Message 864193.   E*TRADE banking baby and friends Thanks Matthew, I love that little guy! The commericals are too funny. Yes, they have me with tears in my eyes...and I think it's the little fellow that makes it work so well. ID: 864196 ·
klc53* Send message Joined: 14 Nov 07 Posts: 3052 Credit: 7,320,707 RAC: 0	Message 864476 - Posted: 12 Feb 2009, 0:51:13 UTC Our son's the coolest. We named him Owen 'cause that's what we figured we'll be doing for the rest of our lives. ID: 864476 ·
Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 864478 - Posted: 12 Feb 2009, 0:58:32 UTC Once we had Clinton, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have Bush, no Cash and no Hope. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 864478 ·
Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 864479 - Posted: 12 Feb 2009, 0:59:37 UTC Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 864479 ·
Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 864480 - Posted: 12 Feb 2009, 1:00:26 UTC Man who streaks is unsuited for his work LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 864480 ·
klc53* Send message Joined: 14 Nov 07 Posts: 3052 Credit: 7,320,707 RAC: 0	Message 864482 - Posted: 12 Feb 2009, 1:05:28 UTC (hope I don't get banished for this one!) Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts, "Save the women!" George W. Bush hysterically hollers, "Screw the women!" Bill Clinton's asks excitedly, "Do we have time?" ID: 864482 ·
klc53* Send message Joined: 14 Nov 07 Posts: 3052 Credit: 7,320,707 RAC: 0	Message 864485 - Posted: 12 Feb 2009, 1:12:28 UTC A new teacher tries to make use of her psychology courses. The first day of class, she starts by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stands up. The teacher asks, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself." ID: 864485 ·
Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 864499 - Posted: 12 Feb 2009, 1:56:00 UTC Poland's worst air disaster occurred today when a small two-seat Cessna crashed into a cemetery. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far and expect that number to increase as digging continues into the night LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 864499 ·
Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 864500 - Posted: 12 Feb 2009, 1:57:14 UTC I woke up this morning and felt so bad that I tried to kill myself by taking 1,000 aspirin. After the first two, I felt better! LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 864500 ·
Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 864503 - Posted: 12 Feb 2009, 1:59:08 UTC Did you hear about the doctor who fell into a well? He learned to tend to the sick, and leave the well alone! LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 864503 ·
Matthew Love Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0	Message 864505 - Posted: 12 Feb 2009, 2:00:42 UTC What do you get when you bake beans and onions together? Tear gas. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 ID: 864505 ·

 
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