Message boards :
Cafe SETI :
ZEN HUMOR
Message board moderation
Previous · 1 · 2
Author | Message |
---|---|
GalaxyIce Send message Joined: 13 May 06 Posts: 8927 Credit: 1,361,057 RAC: 0 |
Ikkyu, the Zen master, was very clever even as a boy. His teacher had a precious teacup, a rare antique. Ikkyu happened to break this cup and was greatly perplexed. Hearing the footsteps of his teacher, he held the pieces of the cup behind him. When the master appeared, Ikkyu asked, "Why do people have to die?" "This is natural," explained the older man. "Everything has to die and has just so long to live." Ikkyu, producing the shattered cup, added, "It was time for your cup to die." flaming balloons |
GalaxyIce Send message Joined: 13 May 06 Posts: 8927 Credit: 1,361,057 RAC: 0 |
A typical example of zen practice. Put a flower on a table. Write down every word you can use to describe the flower with full analysis of it, your reactions to it, the history of the flower and flowers in general, comparisons with all other flowers and living things and speculations backed by scientific data about the flower. Put the flower to poetry, do a drawing and sculpture on it, write a play and feature length film on it, write a song about it. Take a picture of it from every angle possible. Now place all of this on the table next to the flower. Look at your stack of what you’ve expressed about the flower. Look at the flower. Notice the difference flaming balloons |
GalaxyIce Send message Joined: 13 May 06 Posts: 8927 Credit: 1,361,057 RAC: 0 |
Zen tales - an old joke An elderly man went to a doctor with multiple complaints. "I see spots before my eyes," he said. "It's due to old age," said the doctor. "No food agrees with me," said the man. "That too is due to old age," said the doctor. "The digestive system becomes weaker as we grow older." "My back is giving trouble," persisted the man. "Sometimes the pain becomes unbearable." "Old age," said the doctor. This was too much for the man. "Why do you go on saying 'old age, old age'," he screamed. "If you cannot cure me, say so. I'll go elsewhere." "See how easily you lost you temper," said the doctor. "That is another characteristic of old age." flaming balloons |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
GalaxyIce Send message Joined: 13 May 06 Posts: 8927 Credit: 1,361,057 RAC: 0 |
|
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
Your Daily Dose of Zen Don't squat with your spurs on. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
Beethoven Send message Joined: 19 Jun 06 Posts: 15274 Credit: 8,546 RAC: 0 |
. |
Darth Dogbytes™ Send message Joined: 30 Jul 03 Posts: 7512 Credit: 2,021,148 RAC: 0 |
How can a Zen master visualize a one ended stick... ...keep sitting on it. Account frozen... |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
Beethoven Send message Joined: 19 Jun 06 Posts: 15274 Credit: 8,546 RAC: 0 |
. Best joke I've told all day! |
cRunchy Send message Joined: 3 Apr 99 Posts: 3555 Credit: 1,920,030 RAC: 3 |
It's Funny. Now and Zen. |
Allie in Vancouver Send message Joined: 16 Mar 07 Posts: 3949 Credit: 1,604,668 RAC: 0 |
|
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
The Paratrooper A paratrooper was scared to jump. His instructor told him, "If anything goes wrong, say, `Buddha oh Buddha' and you will be saved." The paratrooper got so scared that he forgot to pull his rip cord. So he said, "Buddha oh Buddha," and a hand came out and saved him. He said, "Thank God," and he was dropped. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
The other side One day a young Buddhist on his journey home, came to the banks of a wide river. Staring hopelessly at the great obstacle in front of him , he pondered for hours on just how to cross such a wide barrier. Just as he was about to give up his pursuit to continue his journey he saw a great teacher on the other side of the river. The young Buddhist yells over to the teacher "Oh wise one , can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river"? The teacher ponders for a moment looks up and down the river and yells back "My son, you are on the other side" . LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
©2024 University of California
SETI@home and Astropulse are funded by grants from the National Science Foundation, NASA, and donations from SETI@home volunteers. AstroPulse is funded in part by the NSF through grant AST-0307956.