You could always invest in a Japanese toilet seat.

I can accomplish that by putting my hand held shower on massage. Either way, though, it doesn't do me any good anywhere but at home.


[old and somewhat non-PC joke]
Guy is really desperate to use a toilet and talks an attendant into letting him use the women's. "Just don't push any buttons!" the attendant warns.

Once relieved, the guy looks around and notices a panel with four buttons marked WW, WA, PP, and ATR. What the hell, he thinks, and pushes the WW button. A stream of warm water sprays him clean. Pleased, he decides to try again. WA causes warm air to blow him dry. Next he tries PP and is a bit nonplussed when a powder puff pats him. Okay, all in. He pushes ATR, screams, and passes out. He wakes up in a hospital. "What happened?" he asks. "You pushed the ATR button," the doctor tells him. "Yeah? What's it mean?" "Automatic Tampon Remover."

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

---

The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

Yawny too early, but my back stopped hurting... for the moment.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

Yawny too early, but my back stopped hurting... for the moment.

There is a solution to the "reach around challenge". They do make a crevasse tool for the job.

It will hold dry paper or a wet wipe.

---

There is a solution to the "reach around challenge". They do make a crevasse tool for the job.

It will hold dry paper or a wet wipe.

I was wondering if such a thing existed.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

Yawny too early, but my back stopped hurting... for the moment.

There is a solution to the "reach around challenge". They do make a crevasse tool for the job.

It will hold dry paper or a wet wipe.

Interesting. Never mind, found it.

I did find it on Amazon, geez, is there anything they don't sell?
https://www.amazon.com/Jobar-JB5231-Long-Reach-Comfort/dp/B001G70QW8?th=1

---

The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

Good morning.

---

With each crime and every kindness we birth our future.

Howdy Mike!

---

Hi there Carlos. :)

---

With each crime and every kindness we birth our future.

There is a solution to the "reach around challenge". They do make a crevasse tool for the job.

It will hold dry paper or a wet wipe.

Interesting. Never mind, found it.

I did find it on Amazon, geez, is there anything they don't sell?
https://www.amazon.com/Jobar-JB5231-Long-Reach-Comfort/dp/B001G70QW8?th=1

After reading some of the questions and reviews, I think I'll skip it. It's not exactly something I would want to carry around with me.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

Here are some alternative solutions to the I can't wipe myself problem.

---

I'm looking into a couple of things, but it's expensive, like just over $1100 for the tank and seat w/installation, and I have to know the distance from the bolts to the wall too(which could be 12" or 14", I'm hoping for 12"), computers are so much simpler. Ugh.

---

The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

I'm looking into a couple of things, but it's expensive, like just over $1100 for the tank and seat w/installation, and I have to know the distance from the bolts to the wall too(which could be 12" or 14", I'm hoping for 12"), computers are so much simpler. Ugh.

Yup. And no ATR buttons.

---

Here are some alternative solutions to the I can't wipe myself problem.

Most of those are for home. Like I said, I can use the hand held shower massage, and I don't have to spend any money to do it. The portable solutions don't seem very effective.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

I'm looking into a couple of things, but it's expensive, like just over $1100 for the tank and seat w/installation, and I have to know the distance from the bolts to the wall too(which could be 12" or 14", I'm hoping for 12"), computers are so much simpler. Ugh.

Yup. And no ATR buttons.

Still I'd hope it would work for Me, I need a better one, that's for sure, I swear most stuff is designed for Micronians. ;)

---

The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

The disclaimer for this episode was harmed
during the production of this motion picture.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

Good morning.

---

With each crime and every kindness we birth our future.

Moar guppi'es...

---

The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

Changing the subject?

---

Naw, it's still, a fishy thread. LOL

---

The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's