Which brings us to..........
The M40.
Gun talk.

Somebody should have figured that out before they sent it into a jungle.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Funny thing about wearing a bulletproof vest.
When shot at, the energy of the shot still has to go somewhere.
And I have absorbed a lot of shots.
Angels have nothing on me, my friends.

What do you wish from me?
Backing off and lying down?
Not today, not ever.
Not in this lifetime.

Just not in my nature.
OK, I will ratchet off for a few seconds/
Blue, by Nature.
Wonderful 'crunch factor'..............
And you shall be one of the few to view it..............
Only 169 views since it was posted a few months ago.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Only 82 views on the tube..............unheard of.
And she should be heard of.
Karen Lawrence..............the voice of 'Blue by Nature'.
As close as YOU are ever gonna get to the true blues.
A pure and natural force of the blues.
Please enjoy.
Love her soooooooooooooooooo much.

Hiya, Karen.
Kitties still doing OK?

Oh, yes, we have talked.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

One thousand seventy five views now/
See, my opinion does matter.
I feel so vindicated now.
To make my presence known in such a small time in such a small place.

I only hope that Karen can feel the earth move under her feet.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Which brings us to..........
The M40.
Gun talk.

Somebody should have figured that out before they sent it into a jungle.

The AR 50(+bipod & rounds) has to come with a pack mule............. " : >

---

"Sour Grapes make a bitter Whine." <(0)>

Only 82 views on the tube..............unheard of.
And she should be heard of.
Karen Lawrence..............the voice of 'Blue by Nature'.
As close as YOU are ever gonna get to the true blues.
A pure and natural force of the blues.
Please enjoy.
Love her soooooooooooooooooo much.

Her voice reminds me of Tina Turner :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1qvaTTAxgk

Well, I know there are some things we don't see eye to eye on.

One thing is, I know what I have enjoyed in the past few years.
And Lori dragged me kicking and screaming into it.

But I love the Twilight series of movies.

The love between Bella and Edward is just beyond compare.
When you add in the vampire bit..........just too much to not love.

I know it's all fantasy, but I do live in a fantasy world myself, eh?
I connect. I become. I live.
No, I do not bite.......LOL.

Some put me down for living these fantasies from time to time.
It is my downtime. My release.

It give me time to pretend I am something I am not.
Who would not like to be Bella..............the kindest girl in the world...........with a curse.
I would.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

I started this thread a bit ago and somebody had the audacity to dissolve it.
But, here I am again.

I just woke up from something most would call a nightmare.
But I would call it an epiphany of sorts.

I have spoken once in a while about my belief. That which man knows about but many do not admit. The rift between heaven and hell and where we sit in the middle of it all.

In my dream, I had or was passing.
It' s hard to describe completely, but I was in third person, witnessing the events.

I was dying, choking on something. Leaving. Falling.
And suddenly, a force more powerful than anything I can describe grabbed me. Yanked me so hard that it in itself would tear most men asunder.
And a voice as loud as thunder..............saying literally..............
'NO, you cannot have him yet, I am not done with him, be gone now.'

It was not last night's whiskey. It was not the cat nuzzling me awake. It was not that bowl of chili I had before bedtime last night. It was something more than a simple dream.
I was struggling for breath when I awoke, staring at the ceiling, not sure where I was.
Slowly, very slowly, things came back into focus. I looked around and saw things familiar to me. My many clocks, the sound of my computers humming in the crunching den, my kitties both awake and looking at me.......
And I knew, slowly, that I was back.

What happened last night? I am not sure.
I feel fine now, sure I did not have a heart attack or a stroke in my sleep. No ill effects.
But the power of what I saw remains. The edge, the precipice, falling, and being pulled back with a power more unimaginable and irrevocable than I can quite describe here.

I can tell you this much. It was not just a simple dream./

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

You almost certainly had a night terror aka sleep terror. Used to have them myself when life was not so good, ie when I was a young substance-abuser without a stable relationship; this was about thirty years ago. I can almost guarantee they are caused by the alcohol. Mine were similar: brief nightmarish episodes often with loud voices and a feeling of paralysis or suffocation. I could describe waking from them was akin to swimming to the surface from deep underwater.

The paralysis and suffocation effects are illusions caused by being asleep enough that the locus coeruleus is active inhibiting voluntary muscle control: you're unable to will yourself to move so you feel paralyzed, and although you are breathing just fine autonomically, you don't realize this and because you can't control it/feel it you think you are suffocating. Once I realized this was illusory and my life stabilized, the night terrors went away. I still get one very occasionally (perhaps one every few years) versus nightly, sometimes several times, when they were at their worst. I thus look at them as a learning experience.

I started this thread a bit ago and somebody had the audacity to dissolve it.

Well, you do have your own thread already very close to this one. As it doesn't have a set subject, this could very well have gone into it without needing another. Perhaps this thread will be merged in now... I hope this post isn't deleted as it may possibly be helpful to someone else having these attacks.

Edit: As a footnote, this function of the locus coeruleus was first discovered in your favorite animals. It was found that cats with lesions on or near this area, or when it had been removed, would not lie still but instead "act out" their dreaming. (Which also conclusively showed that animals dream too of course.) Thus, because this finding fixed my night terrors, I was indirectly saved by cats. I guess you were right. :^)

---

Thank you very much for admitting to having the same experiences that I have been having.
Knowing that I am not alone in this respect helps a lot.

As far as the alcohol goes, not so sure. I have had these experiences at times I was not drinking for weeks or more.
Which, admittedly, has not been for a long time now.
It was not so scary that I am afraid to go back to bed.
In fact, I am kinda interested to see where it picks back up.
I have the kitties watching out for any bad sorts that might show their faces in the night.
So, I am prepared.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

A few thoughts whilst I may..
You all know I have expressed my admiration for a few movies.
It's a rather short list.
Tombstone. Second Hand Lions.
Add to this what I am watching now..........
Open Range.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Their first meet.
And the last........I wanna show you something.

Yes, this is the story of Lori and I.
My forever love.
Strange that at this time of the morning, I should express this.
I know.
But, friends........there is no correct or incorrect time to express one's love for one's sig other.
Or simply to a..............friend.

It is a movie saga that many have dissed. And many have loved and lived by.

The song is perfect...............One step closer................for a thousand years.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Do not mess with powers you cannot control nor understand.

I am born of the first house from the last power that controlled this earth.
I shall be, with my queen by my side, controlling it upon my death.

I can do most anything I please. And if this simple venue here denies me a voice.
I can fully find others that are open to me.
If that is what you wish, I shall go there now.

I shall for all time, process work for this project.
It is what I do. My pride and joy.
And though you might try to tear my tongue out and enjoy a few moments of silence,........
It shall be short lived.

For, if I am silent for too long, others shall pick up for me.
I am from a bloodline of kings, of men who conquered great nations and brought them to their knees.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Geez........let me see if I can quote this without a grand fail.

Without using any sources other than my failing or would that be flailing memory..................
Not cutting and pasting,.

"Boy the way Glenn Miller played.
Songs that made the hit parade...............
Guys like us, we had it made.
Those were the days."
"Didn't need no welfare state,
Everybody pulled his weight.......
Gee, our old LaSalle ran great................................
Those were the days."

Did I get it right?

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

You know, only I know which is real, and which is the illusion.
I have not lost track of which is which, just yet, but..................
The time is coming close.
One day soon, the time shall come, very soon, when I am unable to sort fact from fiction.
Reality from what happened just a few moments ago in my mind.
And kids, I have a real fear of what that shall bring. To me, and to you.

I am in a death struggle.
It may last for weeks, or a month or years or a day.
I simply do not know.

I have been a staple on these boards for years now, and wonder what my absence would bring.
Probably nothing significant.
My stats will stay on the boards for some time to come.
My demeanor shall be debated.
My loss, not so much.

I can only do so much, as a man.
Perhaps when I am other than a man, I could guide you.

Meow, just random kitty thoughts.

Meow.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

I shall repost this here........so as not to unduly burden those who do not wish to listen to my voice and shall not come here.
For those of you who do, you shall understand.

It is something I have always cherished..............the voice of Paul Harvey.
I used to catch him any time I could during his broadcasts.

And this is the cream of the crop.
Because it combines his wonderful narrative voice with my love and conviction of God above.
I have it bookmarked, and any time I feel a bit down, I can rely on it to raise my spirits. Or perhaps bring me to healing tears. Depends on what state my little brain chemical thingys are doing at the time, it can go either way.

This is the commercialized version, and I do not believe that Paul would have been offended by his words being used in such a manner.

MeowPaul.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Whatever.
Tonight, I sleep with the kittens.

Poetry in Motion.
Good night.
May I awaken to greet you once again.

Meow.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Yeah,k.
My own little place.
Here is A piece of my heart.
My life does not end here.
What Lori and it saw at the end.
The creators of the show did justice to all those that participated in the saga.

I am..................forever.
And I shall love you for..................infinity, my friends.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Twixt life and the shadows, where I exist.
Now to sleep, lest I try to explain further.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Every man, woman, and child should at least once here the 'man speach' from the movie Second Hand Lion.

Once you hear these words of inspiration, you will never be the same.
You won't be either, once you hit this link.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster