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Message 994764 - Posted: 8 May 2010, 6:20:38 UTC - in response to Message 994762.  

Are you guys still FLOUNDERING around with fish-related puns? I hate to CARP on the subject, but it would only take a MINNOWmum of effort to come up with something new...

Oh GOLDFISH, My keyboard is stuck in reverse.
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Message 994975 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 0:40:52 UTC
Last modified: 9 May 2010, 0:41:20 UTC

I see I have CAST my LINE yet again in a fishtail. Angela made me look like a CHUM the last time I brought fishing up.
I was hopeing you'd see the gossip columnist part and not the fishing part:)

I should have went with this one. A nasty Hollywood directer was in Iran on location scouting out local talent for a movie. He gave a screen test for 100 people and never had a nice thing to say about anyone. He gave up and went home. I guess you could say he got tired of CASTING A PERSIAN.
[/quote]

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Message 994979 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 0:57:56 UTC - in response to Message 989644.  

Oh friends! I don't want to ACT like a DRAMA queen here, but I just checked our calendar and realized that we have theatre tickets for this evening (part of a packaged series deal that I purchased well before the onset of Friday Night Pun War) Alas, the pun SHOW must go on without me this evening. With all of your great punning, I'm sure the STAGE is already set, for you to bring the HOUSE down!

Going to see 'Fiddler on the Roof' at the local PAC in a week or two.........

Meow meow.

If I were..........Ohh.......with tradition...
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 994980 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 1:04:17 UTC

Hair shipped to the Gulf of Mexico now has a PORPOISE, To soak up blobs of oil. Even used Pet fur from Groomers has a PORPOISE now too, instead of going to waste in a landfill.
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Message 995006 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 1:44:18 UTC

HAIR today OILGONE tomorrow.
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Message 995014 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 2:43:21 UTC

I'd say something SLICK, but I might come across as CRUDE.
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Message 995016 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 2:57:31 UTC - in response to Message 995014.  

I'd say something SLICK, but I might come across as CRUDE.

Yeah then It would be a SLIPPERy slope into an OILy mess, All cause of a SUNKen tin can and a GAS bubble(methane).
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Message 995017 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 3:06:34 UTC - in response to Message 995016.  

I'd say something SLICK, but I might come across as CRUDE.

Yeah then It would be a SLIPPERy slope into an OILy mess, All cause of a SUNKen tin can and a GAS bubble(methane).

Don't light a match! You'll be blown off the POOP DECK!

Join the PACK!
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Message 995035 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 4:48:00 UTC

Hey Jim isn't winning tonight??? Is this game RIGGED? You know the DRILL... PUMP it up here and don't make me go get my beloved husband, DERRICK.
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Message 995115 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 14:09:55 UTC

Well Jim, I tried to DRUM up a little business for you here last night. It is always a BARREL of laughs when more people play. Maybe more will come later; it is awfully OILY in the morning now for puns...
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Message 995147 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 17:23:55 UTC

Hi Folks.

GAS, OIL, METHANE! Now there's an INCENDIARY topic I can SINK my GEAR TEETH into. What time do we BLAST off? I WELL try to stay REFINED, so I promise not to make any CRUDE remarks. But get ready to go DEEP, I intend on STRIKING the MOTHERLODE.
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Message 995151 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 17:37:20 UTC - in response to Message 995147.  

Hi Folks.

GAS, OIL, METHANE! Now there's an INCENDIARY topic I can SINK my GEAR TEETH into. What time do we BLAST off? I WELL try to stay REFINED, so I promise not to make any CRUDE remarks. But get ready to go DEEP, I intend on STRIKING the MOTHERLODE.

Oh yeah, The MOTHERLOAD, Sounds ICY and a bit HYDRATEd too. WELL keep going as You haven't reached even the MANTLE yet, Much less the Earths CORE.
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Message 995168 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 18:38:46 UTC

I was for offshore drilling But i think i will crawl back under my SHELL, before I get a EXXON buried in my ASSAM. You have heard of Lizzie Borden right.
Yes, bad pun, so I dont want to hear any HESSing from the PEANUT OIL crowd.

Any resemblance of this post with a real pun is purely OCCIDENTAL.
[/quote]

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Message 995189 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 20:34:43 UTC
Last modified: 9 May 2010, 20:36:48 UTC

OIL vei! Are we still PROSPECTING for SLICK puns? It looks like a DRY WELL DOWN here; no one has STRIKE pay DIRT.
Puns appear to be a RARE COMMODITY but OILS WELL that ends WELL!
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Message 995191 - Posted: 9 May 2010, 21:02:33 UTC - in response to Message 995189.  

OIL vei! Are we still PROSPECTING for SLICK puns? It looks like a DRY WELL DOWN here; no one has STRIKE pay DIRT.
Puns appear to be a RARE COMMODITY but OILS WELL that ends WELL!

Yep, The puns seemed to have gone down to DAVEY JONES LOCKER. And for the moment may be GONE with the WIND.
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Message 995347 - Posted: 10 May 2010, 15:58:07 UTC

If i ever win the lottery Im going to buy an oil company and change my name to Earl Derrick.
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Message 995348 - Posted: 10 May 2010, 16:02:36 UTC - in response to Message 995347.  
Last modified: 10 May 2010, 16:04:42 UTC

If i ever win the lottery Im going to buy an oil company and change my name to Earl Derrick.

I guess You'd be an OILY MUCKETTY MUCK then. Of course that's better than the Slime-ball who tried dinging My debit card in Va for a Carfax on a car for $44.99, I'm disputing It and I won't let go.
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Message 995726 - Posted: 12 May 2010, 5:11:04 UTC

I'm KNOT sure if this belongs here or on the joke thread, but I thought this one was funny...

A rope walks into a bar and orders a drink. Barkeep says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes back outside, kinks himself up, musses up his hair, and goes back into the bar. Barkeep says, "Say, ain't you the rope who just came in here?" Rope says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
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Message 995816 - Posted: 12 May 2010, 16:09:39 UTC

Now lets KNOT be going off HALF HITCHED here. You dont want to get a LASHING do ya? Youll make GRANNY fit to be TIED.
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Message 995868 - Posted: 12 May 2010, 20:46:01 UTC

I say we SLIP into thinking mode, HITCH up our pants, and SQUARE off.
My GRANNY can do this; she could SLIP right aROUND all of us.
So, what's the matter CAT'S PAW got your tongue?
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