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BOINC Wiki . . .

Science Status Page . . .

Hehehe.... A crossword for Mike.

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Account frozen...

What do you call a Frenchman who wears sandals?

Answer: Philippe Flop

(Heard it on BBC Radio 1 this morning)

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BOINC Wiki . . .

Science Status Page . . .

Ha ha, those had me laughing :) Thanks for that Richard ;)

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010

An ASCII character walks into a bar,

The barman says "How are you today ?"

The character says "Not to good, I've got a parity error"

The barman replies "I thought you looked a bit off"

Boom Tish :-)

Brodo

You can't bring that dog in this bar
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010

. . . Marilyn Monroe suggests to Einstein:

What do you say, professor, shouldn't we marry and have a little baby together:

> what a baby it would be - my looks and your intelligence!



. . . Einstein:

I'm afraid, dear lady, it might be the other way around . . .

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BOINC Wiki . . .

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An APB on God
A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous.

The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit's end as to what to do about their sons' behavior.

The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they contacted him, and he agreed to give it his best shot. He asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"

At that, the boy bolted from the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!"

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Old enough to know better(but)still young enough not to care

Once ther was an insurance saleman from the city going out to the farm community to sell insurance to the farmers. He was way out in the country when he had engine trouble. Not knowing anything about cars he gets out and looks under the hood anyway.

All of a sudden he hears a voice that says " Its the carborator "

The insurance man jumps , and looks around, seeing no one .

He then looks under the hood again hoping it is something visible that he could fix himself,

when he hears the voice again " Its the carborator "

The man jumps again and turns around only seeing a large Brahma bull behind him.


Scared out of his wits he takes off running to the nearest farm house he can see.

He knocks on the door, the farmer answers, the man immediately goes into his speal about the bull.

The farmer scratches his head and says

" Does he have one straight ear and one floppy ear? "

The man nods "Yes, Yes ".

The farmer laughs and says

" Don't worry about him he doesn't know as much about cars as he thinks he does"

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BOINC Wiki . . .

Science Status Page . . .

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BOINC Wiki . . .

Science Status Page . . .

Proof that light travels faster than sound ... a guy looks bright until he speaks.

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center.

Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: 'I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend
to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique
pocket watch from his coat.

'I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, 'Watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch...'

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

'CRAP!' said the hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.

You might be a redneck if...

More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010

Mexican is at border
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."

The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"

The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence".

The Mexican man of course agrees.

The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence."

The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010