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Stacey Jane Send message Joined: 28 Feb 07 Posts: 1717 Credit: 49,536 RAC: 0 |
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull. |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium. LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
Red Atomic Send message Joined: 22 Jun 99 Posts: 2624 Credit: 840,335 RAC: 0 |
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: > 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. Anti-constitutionalistically 3. Passive-aggressive disorder 4. Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you. 2. Nope, no more booze for me. 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type. 4. Macas? No thanks, I'm not hungry. 5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? 6. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing karaoke. 7. I'm not interested in fighting you. 8. Thank you, but I wont make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool. 9. Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street. 10. I must be going home now as I have work in the morning. Join Calm Chaos |
Knightmare Send message Joined: 16 Aug 04 Posts: 7472 Credit: 94,252 RAC: 0 |
8. Thank you, but I wont make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool. I have actually said that on quite a few occasions when I was drunk....lmao Usually because I couldn't even stand, much less dance. Air Cold, the blade stops; from silent stone, Death is preordained Calm Chaos Forums : Everyone Welcome |
haba Send message Joined: 19 Jan 01 Posts: 35 Credit: 126,122 RAC: 0 |
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: Me neither. I speak broken english fluently. |
haba Send message Joined: 19 Jan 01 Posts: 35 Credit: 126,122 RAC: 0 |
A duck walks into bar, Duck: got any bread? Bartender: no Duck: got any bread? Bartender: no... Duck: got any bread? Bartender: NO Duck: got any bread? Bartender: NOOOOO!!!!! Duck: got any bread? Bartender: If you ask that one more time I'm going to nail your bill to the counter. Duck: got any nails? Bartender: NO Duck: got any bread? |
Dune_Finkleberry Send message Joined: 25 Feb 06 Posts: 6454 Credit: 198,656 RAC: 0 |
:^D Account frozen... |
haba Send message Joined: 19 Jan 01 Posts: 35 Credit: 126,122 RAC: 0 |
There's three dogs, a Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog all sat in a bar having a quiet drink when a great-looking female Collie strolls in. She comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a single sentence can have their way with me." Quickly, the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She laughs and says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine." |
Knightmare Send message Joined: 16 Aug 04 Posts: 7472 Credit: 94,252 RAC: 0 |
Don't forget that you are pretty good at speaking Gibberish as well...lmao Air Cold, the blade stops; from silent stone, Death is preordained Calm Chaos Forums : Everyone Welcome |
Mike Send message Joined: 17 Feb 01 Posts: 34263 Credit: 79,922,639 RAC: 80 |
Whats wrong if a girl look in the living room. The chain is just too long. With each crime and every kindness we birth our future. |
Misfit Send message Joined: 21 Jun 01 Posts: 21804 Credit: 2,815,091 RAC: 0 |
Three blondes (natural) died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was. The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell. The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell. The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said, "So, tell me." She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ... St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good." Then the blonde continued, "Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball." me@rescam.org |
Allie in Vancouver Send message Joined: 16 Mar 07 Posts: 3949 Credit: 1,604,668 RAC: 0 |
If a tree falls in the forest, and a bear poops in the woods where does the squirrel hide his nuts? |
Dune_Finkleberry Send message Joined: 25 Feb 06 Posts: 6454 Credit: 198,656 RAC: 0 |
If a tree falls in the forest, Account frozen... |
Allie in Vancouver Send message Joined: 16 Mar 07 Posts: 3949 Credit: 1,604,668 RAC: 0 |
If a tree falls in the forest, lol, hilariously. Thanks, now I gotta go tinkle! |
Matthew Love Send message Joined: 26 Sep 99 Posts: 7763 Credit: 879,151 RAC: 0 |
Relative Jokes I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo LETS BEGIN IN 2010 |
Stacey Jane Send message Joined: 28 Feb 07 Posts: 1717 Credit: 49,536 RAC: 0 |
If a tree falls in the forest, ha ha ha, that's awesome |
Dune_Finkleberry Send message Joined: 25 Feb 06 Posts: 6454 Credit: 198,656 RAC: 0 |
lol, hilariously. Thanks, now I gotta go tinkle! ha ha ha, that's awesome You girls laugh, but imagine how Trevor felt! Account frozen... |
Dr. C.E.T.I. Send message Joined: 29 Feb 00 Posts: 16019 Credit: 794,685 RAC: 0 |
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Knightmare Send message Joined: 16 Aug 04 Posts: 7472 Credit: 94,252 RAC: 0 |
They put pictures of missing people on milk cartons. Does that mean they would put a picture of a missing transvestite on a carton of Half & Half? |
Knightmare Send message Joined: 16 Aug 04 Posts: 7472 Credit: 94,252 RAC: 0 |
Not sure what it's called over there, but that sounds about right. Lol I see that Dune has made his return call, so we will hold off on the manhunt. If he doesn't show up again later today, we'll sick my pack of hellhounds on him. :-) |
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