*********BEETHOVEN'S XI*********
Message boards :
Cafe SETI :
*********BEETHOVEN'S XI*********
Message board moderation
Previous · 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 . . . 46 · Next
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
Pawly  Send message Joined: 13 Jan 07 Posts: 2694 Credit: 1,049,945 RAC: 0 
|
Hey, your both in Germany, any thoughts on Run Lola Run? I just got a VHS copy and think it's fantastic! Ofcourse she does, she has style and taste!! Besides it's a widely known fact that Canadians are the ultimate evolution of the species! ;) ID: 511806 ·  |
 Fuzzy Hollynoodles  Send message Joined: 3 Apr 99 Posts: 9659 Credit: 251,998 RAC: 0 |
The Gouldian Finch told you? LOL Pretty little bird, but it's not quite accurate. I like Americans also, some of them. I like Germans also, some of them. I like a lot of people, nice people. "I'm trying to maintain a shred of dignity in this world." - Me 
ID: 511808 · |
|
Fuzzy Hollynoodles Send message Joined: 3 Apr 99 Posts: 9659 Credit: 251,998 RAC: 0 |
That's ok. :-) Yes, Franka is adorable. And the movie is one of the most interesting movies I've seen in recent years. "I'm trying to maintain a shred of dignity in this world." - Me
ID: 511811 · |
|
Fuzzy Hollynoodles Send message Joined: 3 Apr 99 Posts: 9659 Credit: 251,998 RAC: 0 |
Ahhh, you and your family are welcome here anytime, you know that. :-) "I'm trying to maintain a shred of dignity in this world." - Me
ID: 511812 · |
Beethoven  Send message Joined: 19 Jun 06 Posts: 15274 Credit: 8,546 RAC: 0 |
Hey, your both in Germany, any thoughts on Run Lola Run? I just got a VHS copy and think it's fantastic! EEK! You never saw the movie???! RUN CHAMP, RUN!!! Then you can relax in the Hot Tub. ;)  ID: 511821 · |
|
Fuzzy Hollynoodles Send message Joined: 3 Apr 99 Posts: 9659 Credit: 251,998 RAC: 0 |
I like a couple of Brits also. ;-) "I'm trying to maintain a shred of dignity in this world." - Me
ID: 511831 · |
|
Beethoven Send message Joined: 19 Jun 06 Posts: 15274 Credit: 8,546 RAC: 0 |
I think it's time for some more beer!  ID: 511857 · |
|
Beethoven Send message Joined: 19 Jun 06 Posts: 15274 Credit: 8,546 RAC: 0 |
I think it's time for some more beer! Sounds good to me! And after that, let's have another! Cheers!   ID: 511873 · |
|
Fuzzy Hollynoodles Send message Joined: 3 Apr 99 Posts: 9659 Credit: 251,998 RAC: 0 |
I think it's time for some more beer! Yes, thank you. :-D And thank God, it's  and weekend for me.  "I'm trying to maintain a shred of dignity in this world." - Me
ID: 511886 · |
Elektra*  Send message Joined: 29 Aug 05 Posts: 49 Credit: 254,296 RAC: 0 
|
Cheers with a huge mug to all being parched...  Love, Jenny  
ID: 511915 · |
|
Beethoven Send message Joined: 19 Jun 06 Posts: 15274 Credit: 8,546 RAC: 0 |
Hahahah! Cheers, Elektra! ID: 512049 · |
|
Pawly Send message Joined: 13 Jan 07 Posts: 2694 Credit: 1,049,945 RAC: 0
|
Hahahah! A ROUND FOR THE HOUSE ON ME!!!!  CHEERS!!! ID: 512068 · |
|
Beethoven Send message Joined: 19 Jun 06 Posts: 15274 Credit: 8,546 RAC: 0 |
Hahahah! YAY PAWLY!!! Girls, say "Hi!" to Pawly...  ID: 512100 · |
|
Beethoven Send message Joined: 19 Jun 06 Posts: 15274 Credit: 8,546 RAC: 0 |
It's time for an adult joke, it being a party and all... Children! Go upstairs, please! ******************************** On second thought, maybe not. Does anyone have any party jokes suitable for children? :( ID: 512116 · |
|
Beethoven Send message Joined: 19 Jun 06 Posts: 15274 Credit: 8,546 RAC: 0 |
Alright, this one should pass... Noah II: In the year 2015, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States (where else?) and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights." Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?" "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go! When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work. The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience. To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark." Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?" "No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it." ID: 512117 · |
champ  Send message Joined: 12 Mar 03 Posts: 3642 Credit: 1,489,147 RAC: 0
|
Does anyone have any party jokes suitable for children? :( Moin moin Beets, sorry but i am not very good in engish jokes. My jokes are only for adult men. And i dont want trouble with the mods. See my last jokes in the german cafe. LOL ID: 512132 · |
|
champ Send message Joined: 12 Mar 03 Posts: 3642 Credit: 1,489,147 RAC: 0
|
Alright, this one should pass... Hahahahahaaaaaa..... very good!!!!!  (BTW: same over here!!!) ID: 512134 · |
|
Pawly Send message Joined: 13 Jan 07 Posts: 2694 Credit: 1,049,945 RAC: 0
|
Alright, this one should pass... Now that's funny!! and strangely believable. ID: 512206 · |
Dominique  Send message Joined: 3 Mar 05 Posts: 1628 Credit: 74,745 RAC: 0 
|
Know Thy Enemy: Canada Canada always seemed to be too inconsequential to be an enemy, but we sent our crack American research staff to find out what they could about Canada to see for sure if the American neighbor to the north can be trusted. FUN FACTS ABOUT CANADA * Canada was originally populated by peoples loyal to Britain and dumb people who just got lost. * Canada is still technically owned by England and has to dance for them when commanded. * That happens usually three times a year. * The border between U.S. and Canada is the longest unprotected border in the world. There are plans to mine it, set up video cameras all along it, and not tell Canada for a new Fox special called "When Americans Are Bastards." * It is rumored Canada has its own military. Their most powerful weapon is the telephone with which they can call America and say, "Help! We're being invaded, Eh!" * Canadians are almost as genetically similar to humans as the chimpanzee. * Was originally called Cana, but, since everyone there said, "I live in Cana, duuuuh," the name Canada eventually stuck. * For the same reasons, it will eventually be known as Canadaduh. * Their national symbol is the most evil of leafs, the Maple Leaf, a.k.a. Satan's Palm. * In a fight between Aquaman and a maple leaf... actually, a maple leaf is even too lame for Aquaman. Our national symbol, the bald eagle, would whup Aquaman's ass, though. * Canadians pretend to be peaceful, but more Canadians are murdered in Canada every year than any other country. * Canada modeled their coins after ours just to annoy us when we accidentally get useless Canadian trinkets in change instead of hard American currency. * Canada has a picture of a queen on their money to show their contempt for democracy. * A large minority of Canadians speak French, and they boss around the rest of the Canadians. Bossed around by French-speaking people - that's so pathetic I can't even imagine it. * Canadians think they are superior to Americans. The rational basis for this is unknown. * Canada holds up a sham democracy to try and be accepted by the civilized world, but in fact all real decisions are made by their Moose Overlord. * It's a myth that the normal way a Canadian says "about" is so that it rhymes with "boot". It just happens that a lot of Canadians are retarded. * The northern area of Canada is technically God-forsaken. If anyone there has a prayer, he or she first has to mail it to an American priest for God to hear it. * Most of the prayers involve hockey and are promptly ignored. * If a Canadian ever tries to express an opinion about America, hit him on the head with a rolled up newspaper while shouting, "No, No!" You have to catch them in the act or they'll never learn. * Canada has gone its entire history without doing anything of note, something almost unheard of for a country its size. * Canada has become an entry point for terrorists which has caused Canada's boring index to decrease slightly. * Canada doesn't have all the beliefs in liberty and freedom of speech that we have. So, if you have to go to Canada, make sure to bring a gun to help them recognize these. * Canada is so defective that it loses gravity for six hours every month. * Canada has no known industry. It's believed all their income comes from sales of maple syrup, back bacon and hockey tickets. * Canadians have universal healthcare. The way they afford it is making people wait so long that most die before seeing a doctor. * Canadians are completely harmless, but don't assume someone who is wearing a hockey mask is Canadian. The people at Crystal Lake made that mistake and, well, it was messy. * Canadians don't have any nuclear missiles because we decided they are not mature enough for them. Maybe when they’re older. * Canadians have national gun registration. While solving no crime, the excessive amount of money the initiative has taken has foiled Canada's evil schemes to make mutant snow monkeys. * If ever attacked by a Canadian... well... beat the crap out of him. What? You can't take a Canadian? What kind of pansy are you? * This list would be classified as a hate crime in Canada. * Actually, most Canadians who read this list would just say, "Eh?" ID: 512214 · |
|
Pawly Send message Joined: 13 Jan 07 Posts: 2694 Credit: 1,049,945 RAC: 0
|
Know Thy Enemy: Canada You mean the French? * Canada is still technically owned by England and has to dance for them when commanded. Almost true. The party is nice though. * The border between U.S. and Canada is the longest unprotected border in the world. There are plans to mine it, set up video cameras all along it, and not tell Canada for a new Fox special called "When Americans Are Bastards." Fox must have a Tonne (metric tonne that is) of video. It's gonna be hard to decide what to air. * It is rumored Canada has its own military. Their most powerful weapon is the telephone with which they can call America and say, "Help! We're being invaded, Eh!" This is correct, we would rather spend money on universal health care and education. * Canadians are almost as genetically similar to humans as the chimpanzee. Again true. Humans will eventually catch up though. * Was originally called Cana, but, since everyone there said, "I live in Cana, duuuuh," the name Canada eventually stuck. True. Makes it easier when explaining to americans how to pronounce it. * Their national symbol is the most evil of leafs, the Maple Leaf, a.k.a. Satan's Palm. That's right, fear the leaf!! * In a fight between Aquaman and a maple leaf... actually, a maple leaf is even too lame for Aquaman. Our national symbol, the bald eagle, would whup Aquaman's ass, though. Well sure, the bald eagle is a scavenger and carrion eater. Preying on the sick, defensless and even the dead. and believe me, judging by how popular Aquaman is....he's dead. * Canadians pretend to be peaceful, but more Canadians are murdered in Canada every year than any other country. True, by american guns. * Canada modeled their coins after ours just to annoy us when we accidentally get useless Canadian trinkets in change instead of hard American currency. Again, true. It amuses us to no end. * Canada has a picture of a queen on their money to show their contempt for democracy. Actually, it helps us save money, as no one wants to look at her pic, we keep it in our wallets. * A large minority of Canadians speak French, and they boss around the rest of the Canadians. Bossed around by French-speaking people - that's so pathetic I can't even imagine it. Okay, this one really is true, makes me sick!! * Canadians think they are superior to Americans. The rational basis for this is unknown. Universal Healthcare, Unemployment Insurance, Free Education, Welfare for those who need it, Anti-Gun laws, Decriminalization of marijuana....should I keep going? * Canada holds up a sham democracy to try and be accepted by the civilized world, but in fact all real decisions are made by their Moose Overlord. If you have ever seen a Moose upclose you would understand. 3 Metres tall, 600 kilos and bullet proof.  * It's a myth that the normal way a Canadian says "about" is so that it rhymes with "boot". It just happens that a lot of Canadians are retarded. Only the ones with recent American Heritage. * The northern area of Canada is technically God-forsaken. If anyone there has a prayer, he or she first has to mail it to an American priest for God to hear it. You mean Bush? * Most of the prayers involve hockey and are promptly ignored. This is true but only in Toronto. * If a Canadian ever tries to express an opinion about America, hit him on the head with a rolled up newspaper while shouting, "No, No!" You have to catch them in the act or they'll never learn. We READ our newspapers instead. * Canada has gone its entire history without doing anything of note, something almost unheard of for a country its size. Well, we have but the Americans usually take credit for our accomplishments. Or try to ban what we produce...ever hear of a Blackberry? * Canada has become an entry point for terrorists which has caused Canada's boring index to decrease slightly. But they go to flight school in the states. * Canada doesn't have all the beliefs in liberty and freedom of speech that we have. So, if you have to go to Canada, make sure to bring a gun to help them recognize these. LOL Yeah maybe you could help us adopt the patriot act! * Canada is so defective that it loses gravity for six hours every month. The americans are sucking up all the juice, So the grid goes down. * Canada has no known industry. It's believed all their income comes from sales of maple syrup, back bacon and hockey tickets. Don't forget beer!! * Canadians have universal healthcare. The way they afford it is making people wait so long that most die before seeing a doctor. But atleast we don't have to morgage our houses to get a Flu shot. * Canadians are completely harmless, but don't assume someone who is wearing a hockey mask is Canadian. The people at Crystal Lake made that mistake and, well, it was messy. Another american pretending to be Canadian. * Canadians don't have any nuclear missiles because we decided they are not mature enough for them. Maybe when they’re older. We leave world destruction up to the americans. * Canadians have national gun registration. While solving no crime, the excessive amount of money the initiative has taken has foiled Canada's evil schemes to make mutant snow monkeys. OH NO IT HASN'T!!! You just wait till next Christmas. * If ever attacked by a Canadian... well... beat the crap out of him. What? You can't take a Canadian? What kind of pansy are you? Probably an american. * This list would be classified as a hate crime in Canada. Probably. * Actually, most Canadians who read this list would just say, "Eh?" Actually we would say, "Just an ignorant american, thankfully there are less and less all the time. Eh?" ID: 512253 · |
©2024 University of California
SETI@home and Astropulse are funded by grants from the National Science Foundation, NASA, and donations from SETI@home volunteers. AstroPulse is funded in part by the NSF through grant AST-0307956.