| Personal background |
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| Mechanical Engineer, if you want to pigeonhole me. |
| Thoughts about SETI and SETI@home |
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Actually, I've been playing Alien Vs. Predator for about a week now, and I'm not sure this SETI thing is such a good idea.
I mean, guys, let's think about this. In all of movie-going, how many times has our contact with ETs (or, as we call them when they're ugly and they bite, “aliensâ€) yielded anything but pain, suffering, and a burst stomach lining? Ah, you say, but this isn't the movies. This is (together now) REAL LIFE.
Well, then. Let's look at this pleasant real world planet of ours. Are there any animals you can think of (aside from those domesticated by humans for centuries) that would hesitate to bite your heart out and spit in your lungs if they thought it would advance their species? Okay, dolphins. But name two.
As best I can tell, the only reason weasels, geckos, mosquitoes, and goldfish aren’t as notorious as wolves, crocs, wasps and sharks is that the former are too small or toothless or stupid to do as much damage to my face, neck and genitals as they secretly wish they could. I disapprove of the notion of going 3 million light years to find yet another beast that wants to kill me, dismember me, and eat my manhood.
I hear, now and then, that some star is now receiving the first episode of “I Love Lucy†as that venerable radio-wave crests into space. So instead of spending money and computer time looking for horrible space monsters, I think we should spend all that effort doctoring old episodes of “Lucy†so that the characters look like aliens. Then, when the time is right, we’ll release the tapes and say “Look, we found the aliens, and they aren’t very far beyond us and they like bad TV just like we do.â€
A generation of folks like me—raised hearing how our old TV shows are messing up the reception on Tau Ceti—will believe this, and we can go on living our Earthling lives without the temptation to try to contact any horrific real-life monsters this unspeakable SETI program was trying to locate.
Ahem.
At the very least, delay SETI until we develop a serviceable pulse rifle. |
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