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| Personal background |
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My Life in a Pistachio Nut Shell
The name's David Rapoza. 22 years of age, I am. A student at the widely renown institution of higher learning otherwise known as Oregon State University. I began my fateless college career pursuing the lofty heights of space. Going to be an aeronautical engineer, I was. I decided math was far to boring for the likes of me, so I signed up to cut people to shreds as a pre-med intern. Biochemistry just didn't work for me though, so I again changed the course of my ever-shifting cerebral cortex in the direction of Literature and Writing. Milton was a god, Byron was a self-absorbed whiner, Hemingway fulfilled the prophecies of every feminist soap-boxer. And that is where I've perservered, stuck in the mire of the last few courses of my debt-digging hole. "Where to go from here?" I ask myself. If I'm lucky, I'll end up writing passionately for something deserving passion, but I'll probably end up with all the other ex-AeronauticalEngineerPreMed Students, working at McDees.
What do I do? I write (as a humor columnist), I read (actually, I just look at the pretty pictures), I drink seven cans of soda (pop?) a day. I bang on my guitar and sing out a love song every now and again. I wait impatiently for every SETI packet to complete so that I can rise in the ranks of the few, the dedicated, the clinically insane.
Who do I dream of? I dream of Genie. I dream of galaxies far, far away, where the deer and the antelope play with Obi-Wan Kenobi and 7-of-9 (oh, the joyous times, they have!).
Is this 2000 characters yet? Good enough.
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| Thoughts about SETI and SETI@home |
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Extraterrestrial life DOES exist in the universe.
If the universe is infinite (which it is), then there must be an infinite number of combinations of galaxies (slash) planetary systems (slash) planets; therefore, somewhere out there, beneath some pale yellow, red, or blue sun, there must be another magical combination of elements that produces life (slash) sentient beings. Now that that has been established, the question rearing its ugly head, staring at me with eyes like distant flashing supernovas (stay away!), is this: "When will we find these gooey little creatures?" Unfortunately, I doubt we'll find them in my lifetime, unless I find some way to become immortal, in which case, I won't care about finding aliens because I'll be a god and will rule the world alongside my good friend Pinky and his Brain. But we haven't seen any signs of life AS OF YET (the last three words in this sentence are stressed like a heart attack). Keep working, my fellow Setians. WE shall prevail!
Benefits of discovering aliens:
-They will eradicate any form of human prejudice as we collectively hate them with every last gut on the planet Earth.
-They probably have some awesome-wicked physics books, not to mention alien literature, alien theology, alien society, and most of all, alien porn.
-Alien extreme sports on ESPN2
Dangers of discovering aliens:
-We might piss them off with our mass stupidity, provoking an inter-stellar war in which they will crisp our planet like a deep-fried donut hole.
-No more dangers; we're all dead.
Why do I run SETI@home? Because my processor told me that she was tired of being idle, idle, idle with nothing for her stiff circuits to do during the long hours of the day in which I abandon her (my poor baby :( ). |
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