Posts by James Sotherden


log in
1) Message boards : Cafe SETI : PTSD 2 (Message 1764573)
Posted 53 minutes ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
There are those that clearly need to be helped, those that are willing to be helped, and sadly those that are not.

So far we have had those affected by this give their side, and those of us not affected give our thoughts upon trying to be supportive. What we really need is someone from the counselling side to get an overall balanced view.

I doubt that we would ever have that happen, But ones input would be nice to hear.
As Now im a lot older and supposedly wiser. I wish I had seeked out a support group after My second wife was killed in a car wreck. It would have saved me a lot of second guessing my emotions. And after talking with others who have suffered the death of a spouse. Emotions play a big part. They run the gamut. Nice to finally know that its normal.
And Don does bring up a great point. But with just one flaw. Yes its great talking with others who have been there and done that. The flaw part is, As just regular folks we don't know how to heal the hurt. That's where the Pro comes in.
But then Ive never been to one. Maybe I should have. It could have vastly sped the whole healing process up.
2) Message boards : Cafe SETI : PTSD 2 (Message 1764295)
Posted 23 hours ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
And then there is my case.
Chased my brother by phone and car to try to help him some 38 years ago.
I still, I guess, have no solace for that.
He jumped off of a bridge moments before I got there, and hit the railroad tracks below.
And then the authorities took me to the morgue to do the 'positive identification' bit.

PTSD....I suppose I have it. And unrecoverably so. You cannot take those images of that day out of my mind, ever. Not until the day that the Lord above pulls the plug on my earthly existence.

And then, I hope to see and hold him again.
That is one of things that sustains me.

You do have PTSD. Is there a cure for it? I don't think so. I thinks its just accepting that you have to deal with it.
And yes those images will never go away. The bad part is they never fade either.
3) Message boards : Cafe SETI : PTSD 2 (Message 1764289)
Posted 1 day ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
But we are concentrating a bit here on PTSD caused by incidents within the emergency services. PTSD can be caused by many traumas in private life as well.[/quote]

Quite true. I have seen a guy get hit by a car and watched him cartwheel thru the air while off duty. Ive seen a 3 year old girl get thrown out the back of a vans back window because she wasn't strapped in a car seat while the caregiver ran a red light, While off duty.
So Id say the average citizen gets to see some of the mayhem that happens.

Plus lets not forget domestic abuse. For the spouse and the kids who have to witness it. That's a hell I would not want to go through.
4) Message boards : Cafe SETI : When you were just a young setibrat, what kind of music did your family listen to on your radio/stereo/music player? (Message 1764007)
Posted 2 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
I still have my parents' two or three shelves of classical records. I should try to sell them one of these days. None of it ever interested me, but eventually I discovered they also had a couple of Alan Sherman records and a Tom Lehrer. Those I loved, not for the music but for the humor.

Exposure to their classical music, however much I didn't like it, did at least give me some appreciation for PDQ Bach, enabling me to catch humor that others might miss.

My thing is classic rock from the 60s and 70s, plus later releases from the artists who were active then. Not heavy or hard stuff. Beatles, Who, Stones, Billy Joel, Styx...

And I'm not really passionate about anything. I can't remember the last time I bought any music for myself, but whatever it was, it was probably PDQ or Weird Al or Capitol Steps. I am ethical enough not to steal music, but not moved enough by anything to buy it.

I was total rock only. But then I heard some classical music. WOW.

I also love new age jazz. Vangelis and Kitaro or my top guys for that.
5) Message boards : Cafe SETI : PTSD 2 (Message 1764006)
Posted 2 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
Correct Rob, and to put it into a context that fire fighters, ambulance service personnel, and police can relate to, that is also used at multiple pileups on motorways. Some will be less injured than others and will basically survive if stabilised, others are in need of emergency treatment there and then, some will be just too far gone for any medical help to be given, some will be already deceased. Decisions have to be taken to save the majority of lives that can be saved.

Then you have the grisly task of recovering what's left of those those that didn't make it. It just amazes me that these guys can turn up for work each day, knowing what they might face, and that many more of them don't end up with PTSD.

Your last paragraph hits the nail on the head.

Edit- And then you wonder what if we could have got there faster? or what if I could have found her first?
Nothing could have been done either faster or being found first. They were already gone. I know that. But its the what ifs that eat you. And I will tell you that is the hardest part of letting go.
I believe its self inflicted guilt. The idea is to save lives not see them die. Or worse pick up the badly burned body. Or even worse pick up the pieces.
6) Message boards : Cafe SETI : PTSD 2 (Message 1763622)
Posted 4 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
Well It has helped me to tell in here. Much more than I realized when I first opened this thread. I realized I had PTSD. That was a game changer for me right there. MY wife does know what Ive been through and my kids and parents also/ Just not the details. If they ever ask I will tell them. But. They might not want to hear it all. It still might be the case of only telling them what they need to know?
My wife is amazed that I don't fly off the handle anymore. Some of you now my fuel pump died and then a few months later my transmission died. My wife asked me why aren't you ticked off. I think ive finally learned that crap happens. Hey it still sucks that it happened and Im not happy about it . But getting pissed off and yelling and screaming wont fix it. So I don't.
And you know what. I like being relaxed:)
7) Message boards : Politics : George Bush and the National Guard (Message 1763385)
Posted 5 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
I've never understood why more push wasn't made to subpoena the original documents from the military.

Daddy?


Well, yes, but how could he have that much power?

Maybe it was all BS?
8) Message boards : Cafe SETI : When you were just a young setibrat, what kind of music did your family listen to on your radio/stereo/music player? (Message 1763384)
Posted 5 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
We had a radio and record player as long as I can remember. I remember my dad bringing home a Johnny Cash album. One of the songs was Ring of Fire on it.
Also had a radio. He liked listening to The Grand ole oprey. But my mom liked what was popular in the early 1950's It wasn't until I had a radio of my own that I rember hearing the monster mash that I liked early rock in roll. And then the 60's came now there was the music I loved.
9) Message boards : Cafe SETI : PTSD 2 (Message 1763383)
Posted 5 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
When you have PTSD people despise you. And tell you so. Its better to be yourself than to pretend to be someone else. Let those who criticize you go drown themselves for being the callous back holes they are. Let them pretend to be whoever they want. But you need to be yourself not another one of them. If they don't like it, tough.

Which is why most people who have it
dont talk about it. And I myself think that is wrong. Its a disservice to all who suffer from it. And the public needs to be educated about what it is. And dispel the rotten myths that the media continues to perpetuate.
But Im guilty of not speaking out myself. My family only knows little snippets of what I have seen. I find I can only really talk to other Firefighters who have seen what Ive seen.
Ive posted in this thread more than Ive ever told my wife or my kids or my parents. Is that good or bad?

I am who I am now because of the things I went though. I think I have mellowed out a lot because of that.
10) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Never knew Simon & Garfunkel were so talented (Message 1762131)
Posted 9 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
I would add a link. But as this is OzzFans thread I don't want to go off topic.


By all means, share. I don't mind thread drift.

Thank you OzzFan.
I love this song by Harry Chapin. TAXI
I heard him doing a radio interview that at one time he did drive a taxi. And that was his motivation for righting the song.
He has done a few songs about being lonely. His WOLD and the Cats in the cradle sure seem lonely to me.

I find that most covers leave a lot to be desired. I give you Josie Feleicianos light my fire as the worst I can think of offhand. However Joe Cockers rendition of the Beattles I get buy with a little help from my friends was liked very much by John and Paul. I too think its a better.
11) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Ad slogans and jingles (Message 1762125)
Posted 9 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
No ad has made me change my car insurance.


Me neither, but now that you mention it, the old State Farm tagline/ditty, "Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there", just came to mind.

I also liked the liberty commercials where a good deed done by one person was paid forward.
12) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Never knew Simon & Garfunkel were so talented (Message 1761820)
Posted 10 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
Thanks for the link Mark. I have heard that song before. Just never really ever paid attention to the words that close before.
That is a very lonely song. Reminds me of Harry Chapins Taxi.I would add a link. But as this is OzzFans thread I don't want to go off topic.
I think most of us can relate to being that alone at times in our life.
13) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Never knew Simon & Garfunkel were so talented (Message 1761551)
Posted 10 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
I listened to Disturbed's cover to S@G Sound of Silence once more. WOW. It raised the hair on my arms. That is the best cover I have ever heard. I also watched the interview with the singer. Im really impressed. They did a cover right.

I sure hope that this song can get some widely deserved air time on radio stations. Its needs to be heard.

I don't remember the boxer off hand. I will look that one up.
14) Message boards : Cafe SETI : New Accounts... (Message 1761538)
Posted 11 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor


Give a man the wrong bait, and the fish won't bite.

Which Is why you don't find me posting in politics to much these days. I refuse to bite.
I still check the forum out everyday. Just in case a certain subject is brought up.
15) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Ad slogans and jingles (Message 1761533)
Posted 11 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
I zap through the ads for the most part nowadays, or hit the mute button, but I think the quality and memorable nature of the commercials was much better back when we were a captive audience with no way to skip the pitch.

There are still many great ads being made. The one I really get a chuckle out of is a Clorox commercial where you see two boys in the bathroom putting tape on the floor. And the mom asks what going on. One kid says Its a distance contest. I nearly sprayed beer out of my nose on that one. Yeah I had some backwash in my beer can from that add.
16) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Ad slogans and jingles (Message 1761235)
Posted 12 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
See the USA in your Chevrolet. I believe Dinah Shore sang that one. I was a kid at the time.
17) Message boards : Cafe SETI : New Accounts... (Message 1761232)
Posted 12 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
I would say a figure of 20 for general chat, and a figure of 100 for access to post at Politics. I would not class an RAC of 162 as a "low end contributor". All crunchers are welcome at seti, but as has been pointed out, there are some with very minimal RAC's that are clearly "using" the boards for their own purposes rather than seti's. And please note that I said some, not all. There are dedicated Seti supporters out there who can't afford to do any more than they are doing.

Were I to only process work units on my Android device, even 24/7, my RAC would not qualify me to chat under your proposed scheme.

Also, I do not understand the discrimination between chat and politics. In view of your closing comment, the political view of less affluent users would be choked. :?( This to me would be a shame. I hope I do not see this happen.

Thank you for responding however. It is good to know my RAC alone does not anger you ;?) at least not at its present level.

To hopefully answer the question about posting in politics. politics offers a more less restricted posting leeway. You can speak your mind just a wee bit more freely.
There were some posters back a few years ago who took advantage of that and them some to post there agenda. And one of them at the end did keep a miminal RAC just to keep posting.

As long as a person crunches. They can speak their mind as far as Im concerned. But you will learn who has an agenda real fast no matter what there RAC is.
After many years of arguing with them, I find the best way is to not take the bait and ignore them. They do go away eventually.
18) Message boards : Cafe SETI : New tricks for old dogs? (Message 1760645)
Posted 14 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
Im 63 now and have had a smart phone for 6 years now. I used to think I didn't need one. Im glad I was mistaken.
Now I use road maps when I drive long distance. But ive found uts when your within almost seeing distance that they fail. Pull out the smart phone and get a satellite view of where you are.
At work and need to convert a 7MM drill to The US inch, yep go to Machining mate or any of the other programs and it does the conversion for you.
However I think the younger folks who post every second of their lives 24/7 are idiots. You really want to post that pic of you in a toga holding a crack pipe and bottle of Jack Daniels for a prospective employer to see?
19) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Never knew Simon & Garfunkel were so talented (Message 1759936)
Posted 16 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
OzzFan, Thank you for the link. I liked it! As I grew up on S&G I loved that song from the start. In this day and age, This cover captures more of what they sang about so many years ago.
20) Message boards : Number crunching : Your kooky computers (Message 1759384)
Posted 18 days ago by Profile James SotherdenProject donor
He couldn't ne NEZ could he? Hiding all those school computers:)


Next 20

Copyright © 2016 University of California