A mulitple change of tack:-

1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years
of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of
the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world.
Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.
Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."
"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested.
"Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"
Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star,
makes no difference who you are."

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2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid
bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss League records were destroyed
in a fire, ...and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

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3. A man rushed into a busy doctor's surgery and shouted,
"Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded,
"Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

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4. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine
man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin
strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,
and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the
medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief
shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."

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5. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and
found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted
on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely
saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
(Think about it !)

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6. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept
on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three
became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who
slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove
that... the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws
of the other two hides. (Some of you may need help with this one).

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7. A sceptical anthropologist was cataloguing South American folk remedies
with the assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a
particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the
anthropologist expressed his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye
and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

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Happy Crunching,

Graham

A shotgun approach to punning is currently lead by Graham.

A shotgun approach to punning is currently lead by Graham.

I hear that he is a great
singer and dancer as well....

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You punt your left foot in, and shake it all about. . .

A pun in time saves having to listen to me talk....

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. . .You do the hokey-pokey. . .

I know how to dance the Cape Breton stomp!

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Upun my word,
the beat goes on. . .

Like a two step?

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It'll be history. . .

I know, folk dancing?

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I tried mixing dancing and fishing once but I just floundered around the dance floor and all I ever caught was a foxtrout.

I always enjoy watching some one who
is well schooled in dance....

:):)

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I just do it for the halibut.

I do better if the dance music is in tuna...

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You betta believe it. It's no fin herring off-key tuna.

Just like any octopus I think I
can wrap my arms around that!

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You're a sucker for that stuff, Celt.

You got me hook, line, and sinker....

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You got me hook, line, and sinker....

I think its time to cut bait CHUM:)

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[/quote]

Old James