The point was..........
I am gonna have to stop very soon.

I just cannot do this much longer.

Not my will, just the cost.

Meowch.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

There are some things you do not have a clue about,

Dang diddle do wop.

Nothing,.


This works for you, but not for me.

I have to go.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

The point was the lyrics........
And possibly the whole point.

I will leave here soon. I just have to.

My life's work in a puddle. Sad, but true.

You best enjoy my silly youtube clips while I can still post them.

You don't even have a clue.

What I feel I am about?
Wanna have a go at it?

You better be real strong.......'cuz I don't back down.

No, I did not play sax. OR my organ.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Detractors.......

I have come to peace with them. I really don't care anymore about their derogatory comments.

I really do not.

You want my life's history? Every post I have made in the last ten years or so is available to you.
Dig for it. All the posts I have made in the last 10 years or so are yours to view.

All of them.......warts and all....
Stupid meanderings in the middle of the night, when I should have been sleeping.
Angry things said in the heat of the moment when I should have kept my mouth shut.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

I've written several versions of a response to this thread and deleted them all.
It ain't worth it.

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I do not fight fascists because I think I can win.
I fight them because they are fascists.
Chris Hedges

A riot is the language of the unheard. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Best just to leave it there Robert as we all do. It's Friday, it is what Mark does. At some point he will get the usual 12 hour cool off period. It is worth it just not now.

You think that is my only solution to life, eh?

I have other answers, as my brother did before me.

Never presuppose what I am going to do in the next 24 hours.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

You think that is my only solution to life, eh?

I have other answers, as my brother did before me.

Never presuppose what I am going to do in the next 24 hours.

Don't screw around about suicide or someone here could call the local authorities. I've seen it happen on other forums.

If you are feeling that way stop the alcohol and go get help....go to Lori-go somewhere-just get help.

Please stop this cycle.

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Never presuppose what I am going to do in the next 24 hours.

If you have to make the choice not to drink 1 second at a time, that is what you have to do. Make Bill W. your best friend for life.

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Never presuppose what I am going to do in the next 24 hours.

If you have to make the choice not to drink 1 second at a time, that is what you have to do. Make Bill W. your best friend for life.

Agreed Gary-one day at a time all the way down to 1 second at a time

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Step back-take a breath, Mark..none of us meant to denigrate his memory in any manner.

Your post struck me as you were considering harming yourself-and I don't want to see it happen. That is all I was saying (as well as others). We see what's happening to you and we want to see you heal..the way to do that is to admit you are powerless and get professional help.

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nEVER EVER GONNA HURT MYSELF.
\\\\
nOOOOOOO POINT IN IT;


<MRPOOW

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

You want my life's history? Every post I have made in the last ten years or so is available to you.
Dig for it. All the posts I have made in the last 10 years or so are yours to view.

Unfortunately not true for me at least, furthest back I can see is 3 Sep 2011, which is only 8186 post back, out of the 34673 you have made.

Seems your need to post so often has hit some sort of limit.

I have made 5791 post and can see all the way back to my first post.

So remember every 20 post you make consigns, your older 20 posts to oblivion.

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I am fine. The kitties are fine.

Drink of the day is ORANGE JUICE.

I do bounce back.

LOL.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

I am fine. The kitties are fine.

Drink of the day is ORANGE JUICE.

I do bounce back.

LOL.

Good to hear.

Many of us who've been here for a while are familiar with your periodic bouts of melancholia, but every once in a while, you post something that raises the hair on the back of my neck, or sets off alarm bells in others. We do care, and we do get concerned when your posts turn really dark.

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Donald
Infernal Optimist / Submariner, retired

I am fine. The kitties are fine.

Drink of the day is ORANGE JUICE.

I do bounce back.

LOL.

Good to hear.

Many of us who've been here for a while are familiar with your periodic bouts of melancholia, but every once in a while, you post something that raises the hair on the back of my neck, or sets off alarm bells in others. We do care, and we do get concerned when your posts turn really dark.

I do thank you when the smoke clears.

And, please be assured that the room never gets so dark that I cannot see my way out. Ever. It does get a little dim sometimes and I wax maudlin.
But, my life is so wonderful most of the time....
And my past still haunts me constantly. I cannot be the shining soul that some wish me to be all the time. I just cannot.
There is alcohol involved, to be sure, but there are some brain chemical thinygs involved that come into play even when I am NOT drinking.
I am decidedly manic depressive. And I refuse to go there with doctors. They would have had me committed long before now.

I have to tough it out on my own. You, my Seti friends......are my conduit.
You give me a way of expressing and releasing what sometimes troubles me.
I do hope that is not too heavy a burden I place on you.

Sorry./

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

What you do not see in the background, and what I often fail to express........

Is that I love my life. I give thanks to God every day as I walk into my job at the fire truck factory.

I have been blessed, and I know that, and give thanks to Him above for granting me that.

The kittyman shall be just fine, kids.

If ever you should pass by me in the midwest, you would not even know me.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

And there are some things a man knows.

Like when he meets his only one.

I have had that experience.

My Lori love.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

IF life had been different.

IF I the choice was mine to make, which it never was.
My Lord made most of the important choices for me in my youth.
Although I did not know it at the time.

This lady would have been my choice to walk my life with.
Of course, she was just a kid at the time those choices had to be made.

Her or Susi or Joan. Glad I did not have to make that choice.......I'd still be pondering so many years later.

Does Dylan right.

K T Tunstall.

I don't give my heart or praise to just anyone.

She is worthy.

Lori......well, she is worthy too.
I got tangled up with her years ago when her ex husband abused her so badly.
Very badly. I rescued her, and my life has been hers since.
No regrets there, my friends. Might have caused her some grief now and again since, but I suspect she had no regrets either.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

What you DON't see behind the gaffs I make, and the things I say that are not appropriate.

Things I feel......things I try to relay but somehow cannot.

Who I am, where I have been/
Things you should know about me, but I somehow cannot tell you.

I think I am done trying now.

You cannot beat a dead horse forever.

Pigs do have wings, BTW.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Interesting to note that you totally ignored my post about your posting history.

That is you all over just ignore what doesn't fit your view of the world.

Well let me restate it:

You have a posting history of two years NOT TEN

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