Profile: Duke Thomas

Personal background
Where do I start? Well, I'm a phsyical education teacher at Pulaski High School in Pulaski, Wisconsin. I'm really into weightlifting, speed yogurt-eating, fierce banana peeling, and seeing how many veins I can pop by doing some barbell butt squats. I have a wife and a few kids, though they find this alien stuff rather silly. You know what I say to them? Shutup and do naked push-ups in the shower while I'm on your back! Come to think of it, I don't say that to them. I say that to my phy-ed students. Nothing teaches discipline to an adolescent like naked pushups with a muscular man on his or her back. Well, his. I've been prohibited from speaking to women that aren't in my direct family...it all goes back to this 1989 court case...I really don't want to talk about that. One last thing, I want to thank the people who made SETI. It isn't a RAM-whore, which is wonderful, because it allows me to watch my yogurt fetish movies uninterrupted. MORGASM!
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