Posts by Michael Belanger, W1DGL

1) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Word Link # 96 (Message 1939720)
Posted 15 Jun 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
nekkid
2) Message boards : Cafe SETI : The joke thread Part 4. (Message 1939716)
Posted 15 Jun 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;
now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me

for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets

and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that

I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

________________________________


One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....
3) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Word Link # 96 (Message 1939715)
Posted 15 Jun 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
unclothe
4) Message boards : Cafe SETI : What Are You Reading? (Message 1938498)
Posted 6 Jun 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
Re-reading (after several years) Book #2 of the "Wingman" series by Mack Maloney. Prior to that, I was reading the last book (#16 I think, of 23 total) of Mike Shepherd's "Kris Longknife" series.
Both in e-Book format (Kindle 5th Generation reader - an older model with no backlight, so the battery lasts a lot longer and no touchscreen)
5) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Word Link # 96 (Message 1938497)
Posted 6 Jun 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
satisfying
6) Message boards : Cafe SETI : What are you listening to? (Message 1938487)
Posted 6 Jun 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
The whir of my Amateur Radio's cooling fan as I read some good e-Books. Just finished (several days ago) the most recent of Mike Shepherd's "Kris Longknife" series; re-reading Mack Maloney's "Wingman" series now, only about 70% through Book #2 so far.
7) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Word Link # 96 (Message 1938484)
Posted 6 Jun 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
yum
8) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Whatcha Watching? (Message 1936942)
Posted 24 May 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
Also like programs like "Firefly"/"Serenity", "B5" and its 'spinoffs.
9) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Whatcha Watching? (Message 1936941)
Posted 24 May 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
The old Gene Roddenberry series, "Earth: Final Conflict"; Only at Season 2 now (downloaded version)
I enjoy (most) Sci-Fi programs like the ST series (all 5), E:FC and "Andromeda" (I liked some of the 'sight gags' they did towards the end, with Kevin Sorbo's former character and the one with 'Rommie' and 'Doyle' facing the soldiers)
10) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Word Link # 96 (Message 1936940)
Posted 24 May 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
Theater (or 'theatre', if you prefer)
11) Message boards : Cafe SETI : R. Lee Ermey, 'Full Metal Jacket' Golden Globe Nominee, Dies at 74 (Message 1930645)
Posted 18 Apr 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
Glad they don't do that in real boot camp. He put the terror into the recruites. Will miss him for the fun we had watching him on screen.
Will he end up like his roll on the movie The Frighteners?
R.I.P. Ronald Lee Ermey.

I remember seeing him in an interview (I forgot who with) where he was describing when he went through Marine Drill Instructor School and he said one of the many things they taught him was that "you don't (actually) get mad at the recruits; you make them THINK you're mad at them all the time."
12) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Word Link # 95 (Message 1930644)
Posted 18 Apr 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
food
13) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Word Link # 95 (Message 1925510)
Posted 21 Mar 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
join
14) Message boards : Number crunching : "Project down for maintenance" (Message 1925509)
Posted 21 Mar 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
I realize that the project needs to get maintained, but so often? My RAC seems to drop like the proverbial rock whenever that happens.
15) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Word Link # 94 (Message 1917015)
Posted 5 Feb 2018 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
Deco
16) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Word Link # 94 (Message 1909261)
Posted 28 Dec 2017 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
cove
17) Message boards : Cafe SETI : The joke thread Part 4. (Message 1909260)
Posted 28 Dec 2017 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”

“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".
18) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Beet's Give us a Caption - number 67 (Message 1894296)
Posted 9 Oct 2017 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
I think I might be over the limit.
19) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Word Link # 93 (Message 1894295)
Posted 9 Oct 2017 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
Wall
20) Message boards : News : Arecibo Status (Message 1891384)
Posted 22 Sep 2017 by Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
Post:
Here's a National Geographic article: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/09/arecibo-radio-telescope-damaged-puerto-rico-hurricane-maria-science/


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SETI@home and Astropulse are funded by grants from the National Science Foundation, NASA, and donations from SETI@home volunteers. AstroPulse is funded in part by the NSF through grant AST-0307956.