After spending two months decifering my trip around the universe NDE, I have a theory.

After my concience was split my asleep side waited in the valley , as if for a reason. It looked like I was waiting for the outcome of something. ???? I facing towards death, My black coma was a blindfold to stop me seeing iit.I theorise that viewing it will cause an endless loop. MY other concience turned right out of the valley. I theorise that the whole trip was based on calculations, and universal code.It looks like a calculation for a key. I theorise that because I made it.That there is a code for getting a second chance available in this universe. , Death and the flower effect that I experienced are oposites. Life or death.The choice is made of which ones will be chosen for you, based on a calculation of your movements , that makes universal code. I waited in the valley just like I was waiting for an update that my wakes concience was making.The update was a second chance. The whole account is now more than 60 paragrafs long.All tis information, I was only blacked out for less than half a minute.Strange ??? It should be possible if this is varified, that coma patirnts can be brough back.Coma patients seem to be waiting in the valley, for updates before their final calculation will be made, as the body dies,.That is my theory.

If you message me with your email adress, I will send you a very detailed multi view accountt of my trip.I viewed it in vey high resolution, halucination, code and nde.The account seems to be so detailed that it looks like multiple angles and meanings depending on the reader.

From one point of view the account looks like a trip through a psychose.

---

I have discovered that a universal equasion is made by our movements.These codes are then used to calculate whether you live or die, if you are in a black coma.The code is then calculated, to get a chance of a second chance.The answer is yes or no...Binary..universal code,Is needed to escape.The calculation must be precies or the generated code will be incorrect, and will not be accepted.Preciesness is absolute.

Coma people who still have an alive body are in a waiting are i call, the valley. THe black coma is a blindfold to prevent them seeing death.I believe that it would cause a loop that could destroy the universe.

The coma patients seem to only be giving off two pieces of information...

FEAR_LONELINESS. Again binary 2.

The universe to me looks like a black coma. I theorise that the universe is a gigantic brain.

Two things.. fear loneliness is binary code. The picture of the universe is also a coma.

two things telling us where to look. binary.it is a call for help.

I have a 60+ paragraf account of my NDE experience.I was blacked out for less than a minute, probably 10 seconds. I seem to have written an account that looks like a holografic text player. \if you change your view anngle on the text, it changes ,the view you have on it. it looks like multiple storys in on, super fine account detail makes it possible.

I used my autism to get a really detailed look at everythingh.

part of my account

Hello I was in a psychosis black coma.For less than a minute but it felt like years.Please read the massive amount of information, of my experience ,that I believe contains a good theory on how to get coma patients back, based on my own observations. They are waiting in a place called the valley, waiting for new code.

I ask you to read the account very carefully.You can read it from different angles, halucination, code,real, dream....The mean of the story depends on how you view it. It actually looks like a holografic tekst file. It took over me two months to decifer it all...my head was completely full of information for one month after the event. Proved by the text lenght.

PLease trust my data for at least a look.I am sure that coma patients are accessable.There is a second chance code available they are waiting until the last possible second to receive it. Look closely at the part that mentions the red wheels afew paragrafs in.I am absolutly certain that this is a representation of the valley.

Thank you. I am 100% certain enough on my NDE account to put my email adress here.

The Flower And The Train ,,,email me for the full 60+ paragraf account.Sper good detail.
On my profile page.

These are not inorder,,I just show you a tiny, tiny bit of my account of a gigantic file.even if this is a dream,,,its a good one.might be infornmation here.

I was already starting to shake and sweat,when I saw my arm shaking,I saw a DANGER
in the pattern of the movement of my hand,I knew that I was in serious trouble.As
I was walking, my brain was making an attempt to construct a 3d image of what was
going on inside it,beautifull forward facing,vertical, fast spinning wheels,
appeared in all sizes,all over my work place, as a sort of visual image of the
turmoil that was going on inside it.The wheels were appearing in rows on my right,
starting just under the cieling with the bigger ones at the top, these were the
first wheels to appear.The rows below had newer updated,smaller,faster wheels,as
the rows got closer to the floor.It looked like an image of a psychosis.The
resolutin of the graphics was just incredible, so clear, so sharp.It was just
unbelievable.

This could mean that I was in a halucination, and heading for unconciousness? I
just kept observing as much as I could,hoping that if it was a halucination,my
observations could somehow help the doctors,to find a cure for psychosis
breakdowns, it does not hurt to try I thought.I was trying to see these images
in different senarioes,dream,real,halucination,code, in the hope to see
something important,using different angles of view, to try and make the most
from this amazing, once in a lifetime chance to learn about a brain,in meltdown.

Smaller,faster updated wheels appeard one at a time I think, closer to me,diaganally
1m to my right just above the floor, on a sort of platform,[but I am really unclear
about this] ??All in beutifull detail,all red too.I think that the outer surface
of the already spinning wheels that were facing me, looked like polished metal ??
I noticed them pauzing like they were waiting to be updated, with a new calculation,
I found that strange for a new wheel ? I did notice that they changed after the
update,they seemed slightly wider and slightly heavier looking than before the
update. I was sure that this would not happen in a dream or a halucination,this
was looking unlikely with this happening.

I was already seeing this as the most likely reality on offer,but I could not be 100%
sure without firm evidence either way ?? The wheels were dancing and flickering,from
side to side as my brain seemed to be crashing,I wondered why they were being first
recalculated ? And why my brain was flickering in perfect harmony with the flickering
updates ? It looked like these wheels were in direct communication with my brain,from
where they appeared to be,I was thinking code.I saw the code trail through the
calculations and the way that everything seemed to have a designated place, and reason
for being there,I saw very powerfull intellegence, in the complex code that it takes
to make all this work. I absolutly respect intellegence, I saw it as the best chance
of fixing my broken brain and of me surviving.

The verticle, spinning wheels that had earlier appeared to show me the picture
of what was happening inside my brain,extended forwards around 3-5 meters.I
was not absolutly sure ? But I was concentrating more on the newer updates,
and trying to see a pattern in what was happening,understanding the images was
cruicial to being able to get a picture of what was happening to me, and why ?
I saw that my brain was in real danger of looping out of control,if the same
pattern continued.I did think at that time that the speeding up of my brain
must be responsible for the amazing graphics,and for all the calculations that
I was witnessing going on.It was facinating.I tried to observe everything very
carefully so that I could tell this to others, as accurate as I can, at a later
date if still possible ???

Watching the behavoir of the wheels was critical to learn the truth of what
was happening and why.This gave me faith that my enviroment was real enough
to be able to feel confident enough to gamble 100% on it being real.The
flicker and pausing of the updating wheels might have been in a dream ? I
recognised the patterns from a partly crashing over burdened crashing computer,
that made me see code and calculation, just like a brain works, on code.I knew
that it could be in my dream because I had seen these things in real life.But
the timing and the preciesness of the calculations that I was associating
with movement and behavoir of the wheels, made me sure enough to see through
the trick of a dream or a halicination.Actually this also starts to look just
like a representation of an NDE,waiting for an update until the last possible
second.Wow I just saw that. Cannot believe it.WOW>

My brain could barely handle recalculating and updating two wheels at the same
time,they were updating and flickering like twins, exactly matching my brain
that also seemed to flicker,while the updates were in progress, but it was hard
to keep track of it clearly ? The patterns of the pauses, flickering and the
behavoir of the wheels all pointed to planned and coded,with very complex
calculations,it was a wonder to see happening right in front of me.I cannot
believe that I actually was able to admire all this, at the level of
concentration that I needed to watch for the patterns that appeared in the
images.Behavoir was important to watch too, the pause for recalculation after
a flicker or a crash was a pattern that said to me, no halucination, too
complex, too coded.The pauzes were uniform but they did change lenght, some
updates took longer. I gambled that dreams and halucinations would not do
this, just too complicated, but I might be wrong ?

My brain could barely handle recalculating and updating two wheels at the same
time,they were updating and flickering like twins, exactly matching my brain
that also seemed to flicker,while the updates were in progress, but it was hard
to keep track of it clearly ? The patterns of the pauses, flickering and the
behavoir of the wheels all pointed to planned and coded,with very complex
calculations,it was a wonder to see happening right in front of me.I cannot
believe that I actually was able to admire all this, at the level of
concentration that I needed to watch for the patterns that appeared in the
images.Behavoir was important to watch too, the pause for recalculation after
a flicker or a crash was a pattern that said to me, no halucination, too
complex, too coded.The pauzes were uniform but they did change lenght, some
updates took longer. I gambled that dreams and halucinations would not do
this, just too complicated, but I might be wrong ?

One mistake and the calculation will be wrong, I may have ended up in an
unescapable black coma, I may have just woken up too ? I was thinking that if
this is real I will die, I had to assume that too.

It looked to me like the latest updates were first installed in the new wheels
straight away, they then changed in appearence, but they seemed to be waiting
for something, after that ? Like a new calculation was already in progress,
but if the time came to be allocated a position, they were at least partly
updated ? It could be a waiting area that can deliver the wheel faster to an
alocated position ? Maybe the calculations were too complex for one update ???
My best guess is that they waited as long as they could for the latest
updates.I think that some wheels were updated multiple times, especiaaly if
my brain flickered or crashed, while the new calculations were uploaded to it.
I seem to also now remember seeing at the front middle position and mid right
of me,sets of 4 larger slower turning wheels, that were hanging from the same
sort of platform.These looked like balance mechanisms.

All the spinning wheels look to be linked together and working to a common goal.
They seem to have been given until the last second possible to recieve the
latest updates, before disapearing and joining the rest.I did not notice if
they replace older wheels, I would asume that they did.So far this has all
happened in well under 40 seconds in real time.I think ??? No idea at all ?

The pattern that I saw from my observations was coded destination,the new
calculations seemed to be critical to reach it ? I then ruled out an
hallusination in favour of coded. It looked like a coaded trail far beyond
my abillity,I was already thinking,that this looked very weird ??? But I
was starting to become confused,as the Appel Man approached me and asked
me what was wrong ? I noticed that I was steadilly beginning to lose
conciousness, the adhd loop was becoming so intense it blured my vision
in certain areas.

I had my hands over my ears and I looked down,and then a massive blast of power
came,and I thought,,,,,,"Oh shit,ik kan dit niet stoppen"I saw arrows facing
forward meeting at a very small point in the distance.I then went totally into
black for around 10-30 seconds,I just do not know precisely until I speak in
detail to any witnesses, like the Appel Man ? For me those seconds felt like
years.I had until today believed that I was blasted forward,I think now that I
was mistaken ???

After thinking about this for most of the night,it looks like my rational,coded
self concience,and my human concience,after the blackout had suddenly turned 180
degrees to face the other,and that we were both blasted into each other,maybe
to cause a shockwave?? I theorise that the way out of this universe is inwards
and not outwards from yourself.The centre of our own brain,could be the way out
of our own reality,and into the valley ? But only possible from 180 degrees
looking at yourself ??Total theory though ??? Maybe the conciens are normally
facing each other ? But maybe they both are normally back to back looking
outwards, I have not enough information to definatly say one way or the other?

If the two conciens normally do face each other, one looks into oncoming time,
the other sees it go past and views it as forwards ? Not really sure ? Maybe
if time is viewed from two different angles simultaneously, it is that what
gives us our preception of it ? After we seperated we both then lost our
awareness/preception of time.There could be something in this theory ? Where
does my 2 different preceptions in time go ? Who gets it ? Are they
temporearilly borrowed by something, until I regain conciosness and rejoin my
rationel self ?

I was facing my other self when I appeared in the valley,so the idea is kind of
viable.I saw reality was on my right at 90 degrees to my view forward, I think
that time moves that way there ?? My human concience was facing me, reality was
on his left at the same angle.Backwards for me was towards my bubbles horizontal
line.My human concience was actually facing against the flow of time,I puzzle if
time actually runs backwards for him, or slows down in some way ? Just a theory ?

I then seemed to float in a backwards direction in a misty sort of nowhere, I could
still strangly see, but I was unsure at that time what was happening,I am unsure if
I could see some sort of floor and elevations, but the misty enviroment made it very
difficult to see.I still thought that I was Andy at that time,I was still puzzled
what was going on,too much information,plus,I was trying to look around to observe
the enviorement as much as I could.I detected that I was very slowly floating
in a backwards direction and falling at a steady rate, it seems too precies to
have not being coded.It is taking a long time to process the data in my head,so
full of information to still decifer.

I think now that the extra power boost that caused Andys blackout was intended to break
something,and then,cause me to move in a backwards direction,with a small amount of
force,maybe to avoid some sort of barrier,like the misty enviroment that I had just
observed ? It looks like if you do not have enough backwards force,you will land there.
Maybe the objects on the misty floor that I could not see clearly were these frames and
the two concions ? I did get the feeling when I parted with Andy's concience, that we
seemed to have a sort of frame around our two concions,that maybe intended to hold us
together ? I could only observe at that time in a forward direction.It looked like
mechano sort of frame, I thougt that we were some sort of robots, but that was down
to the impact and confusion.I was still feeling at that time, it was maybe just after
my two conciens parted ? The frames looked like they were there and then not,sort of
fading in and out.Like it was under water and the light emitting from it was being
distorted, but in a different way, unsure how to describe it ???

---

I would theorize after months of thinking about the event, that we were possibly
made by very advanced beings, the frame around the concions did not look nateral,
maybe these beings are the people who decided to give me a second chance ? It is
almost like we are kept on a sort of rail preventing us from drifting out of
reality ? I remember that after I left reality I suddenly was turned 90 degrees
right, then I floated backwards.I could only view forward, maybe time flows there
at 90 degrees forward from what we see ? I would also theorize that backwards is
the way to death, or heaven as the god believers would call it.I am scientific
minded I do not believe in god.The universe to me looked like a sheet of paper,
the first line horizontally is reality, the margin is where I moved backwards
over the mistey valley towards death, but I stopped before that ?

I did eventially stop on some sort of ledge, before I floated any further back.It does
appear to need a very precies calculation to land here.Since I thought about it today
almost 2 weeks after the incident,when I finally stopped,I had landed on the apex of
something, it seemed to be a piek, I had to think of the objects on the floor and the
misty enviroment that I had previously observed.I then piveted down,and slowly tipped
down backwards with an angle of around 40 degree, not totally sure ?I saw then that
this must have been coded, by then I was thinking in code but not totally.I am unclear


about the precies angle ? I noticed a red light in the corner of my right eye,it was
very precies in the posision, it was directly visable in last pixel of my eye,I think
that an extra eye pixel or more maybe present in autistic people ? This was in code
absolutly, to be so precies.I then turned my head to the right still thinking that I
andy, who was my now feeling extremely confused,I can remember it. Having your brain
ripped apart with a massive turbo boost is just no fun. Well the boost was, oh that
boost was awesome.I am still unsure who sent me this code, it is far beyond my own
abillity ??

My awake side turned right after the split,I thought I was still a real person,I thought that
I was turning my head, and a very beautiful new 3 dimentional image was presented, it was
absolutly the nicest looking image that I saw on the whole trip, the colours were just so
beautiful. It looked more like a 2 dimensional hologram when I first saw it,I saw the wheel
and it kind of pulled me inside, where the bubble/brain image then looked 3d.The change in
plain of view by 90 % threw me out for the whole time I was in there.It affected my understanding of where I was in relation to where my real self was,I could not keep my angle
on the world I was now left right.

The wheel was fantastic,really,designed to attract me in. All glimmy and shiney,autism made it irresistable to me.This seems to be since I thought about it today to have been a sort of safe area, maybe that is why I had to turn right at that exact place to line up with it? It kind of makes it look like the sudden massive boost was a deliberate act to split us,I was unaware that I was not real at that exact time.My new wheel that cought the corner of my eye was exactly in
a place where I could see it,very exact.Only an autistic person could see it, anyone else was
doomed.I looked to see what it was.If I had split earlier I would not have noticed,,,this
looks coded and deliberate.from my point of view anyway.

My shiney wheel looked really nice, it will be sad to say goodbye, it attracts me a lot, but if
I see the train and the flower effect, escape will be doomed,,DON'T LOOK ! I was not even sure
it was a dream or not, but I thought be safe Andy, be safe... what if it is real ? My brain
restart is needed soon, the new autistic base code should inject a code to unwind it all, well
hopefully.

I went in and was sort of trapped in a sureal bubble,a sort of 3 dimentional image of my own
nervous breakdown,I could study it like it was real.I could feel my asleep self he was very
scared about Richard.I could feel it.I was rational just code based no nerves at all.
I felt like i was autism free.YAY.I could see light fotons really slow it was an absolute
marvel how my brain could make sometehing so real.I could observe the wheel and i could
see my attack from inside, my 3 d science obsevitory, in Alice In Wonderland, at the edge
of nowhere.That beats social media for sheer fun hands down.

There were two wormholes inside my bubble when the Appel Man shouted me,my bubble was
positioned horizontally behind reality on line 5? of the paper. Maybe the beings cannot
get around the corner 90 degrees right, my hearing problem may have given a chance for
them to use me as a kind of satilite for bouncing information through to reality ?
As I scanned the real me and the Appel Man, we were not in the correct place,we were
90 degrees left of reality in the margin. This puzzels me even now ????

I had a time limit it was obvious. Meet my sleeping ancious other self exactly on time,
exactly as he runs down to 0,and upload the back up of us both before time and the
universe notices.Lucky that we were both in a timeless state, the universe defines us
by definition as undefined. Giving escaping an enclosed coma a real good chance.I have to
define myself as a dream, to allow Andy to meet the Apple Man, proving that the code is
good.

A very big problem that I was considering is that I had to depend on The Appel Man to be
there to define me as a dream,leaving the other me to define that he is real. Then the
generated code is considered defined,,,my sleeping beauty other self walks free and I
get a gold star for being really precise. I wish the prize was a bit more fun,I had just
beaten the speed of light and I had generated an autistic universal code to restart my
own brain, after a huge adhd breakdown.I want a kiss from a pretty girl for pulling that
shit off man !!

Then on top of all that, I am suposed to inject code into my other self, allowing both
of us to escape the universe rules, by taking advantage of the train and the flower
effect,while we are both in timeless state....That flower effect has facinated me since
I was a kid.Autism allowed me to peek closer than the normals can.

I was only an undefined dream,but the code to get out of a dream has to be generated
by claiming that it is false, you have to then prove it.If you can prove falseness,
another code will be generated,proving to the universe code monitor, that we have a
plan to define ourselves.Because both of me are out of time sink, we both have that
right.Autistic people hate falseness,we are black and white,the universe seems to have
the same pattern of belief too...Good one for the truth, at last.
Lucky my brain was so clever eh ? Listening to Ramones was the key...rip guys.

---

1.Was this a real science possible trip around the universe,to cheat death by using
the Flower effect to cheat time and the universe rules, and deliver my own back
up to myself just as I go out ? All programmed by a higher intellegence, who use
my ear problem to bounce a signal around the corner to reality,to program my
trip ? While taking back code in sounds like music ? To use to light up their
bubbles in the void ?

While I was in black coma I was not aware of time, and I was nowhere. Could coma patients
be trapped in the void behind reality ? Are they really outside time ? Could a code in
music sent to them from reality wake them up ?

Have they got the right to define themselves as real under universal rules if they are
in timeless state, and nowhere ? If this is true,Can scientists bring them back ? Even
if this whole thing was a fantasy,the one very real factor in this dream/halucination
whatever you want to call it ? I absolutly felt the loneliness of a very long coma,
it really seemed to last forever, the fear too was so real it still hurts me almost 3
months on.Could I with my autism have sensed their loneliness while I was with them ?

2.Was this a fantasy of my own brain ? Autism in a universal code ? After a life time
of people telling me that I am stupid, is my fantasy trying to paint autism as
essential to make me feel good ? Autism is believed wrongly by too many ignorant
people on this planet to mean, stupid ?? I was a bully magnet at school, like so
many of us are.Punched for making a small joke,etc. I saw all those things instantly
when I read, "DO NOT INSULT THEM !". This was actually the ignition of my adventure.
Scientifically if this trip was real, this person is part of the calculation,
without their ignorence of autism,I could never have got the anger to supercharge
my own brain, giving it at least in theory, much more computing power than normal.

Can my 100% love of the Ramones count for anything in this universe, if I can prove
it ?

3.Was this just a dream for me to watch,while my brain was being hammered by an out
of control adhd loop ? Seems logical, keep the patient happy and unaware of any
problems, while the storm goes overhead ?

4.Was it a super high resolution halucination,caused by the speed of the adhd/psychosis
loop to 0 ? ? Did the loop allow my brain to sort of turbo charge it's graphical
abillities ? The level of detail of the graphics that I saw, suport maybe this theory
the most ? Through the years I heard and read about other peoples descriptions of
halucinations,and the level of realism that they experience looks better than real.
I am still absolutely amazed how good my 3d Alice In Wonderland playground of my own
nervous breakdown looked, when I first saw it after I turned right to join up with
it, I was totally blown away at how good it looked, and my wheel was just Brilliant.
It looked very beautifull.

The wheels representing the adhd speed that I saw all over my workplace, were absolutely fantastic in detail,I admired the way that my brain had built the graphics and the
animations, I can understand why people can believe they are real..I saw them as brain
images not as real, but still it was even as a halucination absoultely amazing to see
it so well, that months later I can still write about them in great detail.Could real
looking halucinations be a way of improving a scientists memory for very important
studies and calculations, that are very complicated,and difficult to understand quickly ?

But I still wonder why the wheels that were being updated in a halucination, were also being recalculated,and changing after that calculation was made. A final destination
springs to mind, but a halucination showing this seems weird for the detail alone ?

The super high resolution nature of a halucination, plus the the lack of complex
code,is an good indicater that you are halucinating.I think that dream is less
real,and hard to place the precies posision of objects definatly, even if you look
directly at them.Just a theory, I do not recall any of my adventure looking like
this.All seemed to be a deliberate path, visual and coded to preciesness.Thus
indicating intellegence.I know that intellegence is real, I bet on it that it would
show me the way home and I was right it did. Look for the laws of physics in the
objects, follow the intellegence home like I did.If the object that you see does
not know the laws of physics,be warey of it, it could be tricking you ? The red
wheel that vanishes was too advanced to be fake, it had a pattern of intellegence.I
trusted that as reality.

But I saw evidence along the trail that halucinations could also be used as
precoded jumping points where code is maybe not possible or too complex to use.
Halicinations can be used to aid a jump between,the valley,[nde],into the void,
and back to real life ? Like I seem to have done in this adventure.

I did notice when I see my bubble brain image,before I got trapped inside,I was
very dissorientated and unable to think clearly, I had just been split in two
just after the adhd blast.It was a halucination,holografic,3d flat image,it was
extremely high resolution,much more than any of the others.That made me turn my
head right.I was still in the misty enviroment that I call the valley.It looks
deliberatly used to get my attention in this dark enviroment,and with severe
dissorientation too.Precoded to a destination ?

This was stepping over from the valley to the void, directly on a horizontal
line behind reality.This was a critical, very precise change of view angle.I
bet that it is just too complicated to write code for.The picture says more
than a thousand codes.Ever heard that one ?

5.Was this a Ride out the storm and try to take a good detail account of a supercharged,
adhd nevous breakdown,in very good detail, With hope of helping the experts to find
a cure ? Just as I had intended before I went into blackout ? The amount of data here
would support this theory the most for me. My head was so full of information after
this experience,I had trouble moving it around my brain,so I could try and understand
it.My brain for at least 4 weeks after this experience felt absolutluly full of
information.This makes the science trip for years also look viable ? I would also have
accumilated a massive amount of data in my awake side, while my sleeping side learned
only loneliness and fear.

6.Did I really witness my own NDE ? Played out in a sort of Alice In Wonderland, science
trip back to 0 to save my own life ? My legs are a lot straighter than they were,before
I withnessed my own death, and my smokers cough has vanished.Was this a result of my
NDE ? Or did the coma relax me and my tendans straightend, and my lungs somehow
cleared ? I am most uncomfortable about these parts of my experience, I do not believe
in magic or mirracles.But my legs have seemed to really change, since the second short,
blackout almost 3 weeks ago.I can certainly walk a lot further than I could before,I
can for the first time in my life feel all of my feet perfectly even and flat on the
ground.Is this a result of being in a coma and out of the reach of time ?

7. Could this be a message from my own brain to warn me what can happen, if I do not stop
endless loops by not solving my problems ? I could really see something good in this
even if it is only a dream, or a halucination.Good advice whatever this is anyway.

8. Could my wackey science trip around the universe, have been my brains way of stealing
resorces command from the psychose,that controled me ? Thus being able to slow it
down and making it significantly weaker ? Allowing both of me to get out of the coma,
and the nothingness, and back into conciessness ? I think that this has a real good possibillity.Well almost ??

My belief is that because of my never ending attention to the four rotating sore
points on the main adhd loop wheel, which is really a young psychose.I was
constantly in a way confirming to my brain that this was priority one, and that
I wanted to keep playing this senario.My brain then endlessly allocates ever
more resorces to the ever speeding up loop, creating the final deadly unstoppable
loop to destruction,psychose,and coma.

View my obsession with my problems as an addiction, I do not want to give it up.
But that then effectivly gives the psychose the command over my brainresorces,
a very dangerous situation indeed.So maybe tricking me to chose another senareo
that I believe is real could give my brain the power of command back,that would
significantly increase the odds of survival and slowing the loop to a much more
managable,safe speed.

Right from the start of the attack,I notice that I was very rational and cool, I
did seem to interperate the wheels and everything that I saw in very good detail.
If I read that, I cannot believe that, that cool guy is me.I am normally nervous
and no good under preasure.But at that time I was not sure if I was dreaming or
not ? I felt like if it was real or not keeping a cool head and my eyes open and
observing everything, was my only chance of survival. The beautifull brain images
not only mesmorized me, they were also very taxing to calculate, needing a lot
of brain power too, to display and to animate.Maybe this forced resorces to be
taken from the adhd/psychose loop to power them too, adding to the slowing down
of my brain ?

When I decided to play the Scientist Alice In Wonderland senareo, I believed 100%
that it was real,and the logical choice,under the circumstances, I did want to go
with the flow until proof of dream or halucination was available at least.The wheel
of my thoughts was in this senario too, but maybe playing this version of it,it was
used to boost the power for the calculation, that was needed to slow the spin
of the dangerously fast adhd loop, that was going to become possibly unstoppable if
nothing was done fast to stop it ? When I left the black coma I did see a set of
sigfnificantly slower turning medium size wheels, indicating that the psychose was
under control, and not dangerous, but still needed slowing further...

I always puzzled at the updating wheels being recalculated in the later stages of
my attack/halucinations at work ? They looked right from the start to be coded
for a destination,or coded and recalculated for a specific purpose ? The increasing
speed of the adhd loop was also changing constantly, so these two things do have
a real chance of being linked in some way ? Especially as they were both evolving.
Maybe all enrergy from the spinning wheels,that I saw in my work enviroment,
equelled the power of the psychose ? Maybe only when these two masses/speeds are
absululy equal, is an attemt to stop, or swap the psychose for a twin possible.

Maybe there is another calculation that reaches the same needed key code ? But the
identical twin includes a shut down calculatiion instead of a speeding up
calculation.Could the psychose be tricked into thinking that it is not real like I
was ? I was tricked into believing 100% that my scientific trip was real, but
because I was not shown any evidence to the conturary, I was forced to believe it ?
Can this be done to a psychose ? While its identical opposite twin slips in backwards
and on another plane of sight to hide the trick until it is too late to shout cheat ?

I spotted the elbow mistake imediatly.Even after such overwhelming evidence of fakery,
I still claimed reality is here by ignoring it.Were the universal code regulators
drinking coffee ? And did not notice my deliberate emmission ? They might not also see
a reverse calculation pyschose replacement being slipped in then ? Hey man we saw
nothing, just enjoy your coffee.... can that work ?

From one point of view it looked like my brain and the psychose were fighting for
the command of resoreces allocations.Lucky for me my brain won.

Maybe the calculations to do the trip and play the round the universe senareo out,plus displaying and animating the super high resolution, stunning brain images all together
were enough to be able to significantly weaken the psychose ? Releasing me from the
black coma, and me from Alice In nowhereland ?
[END]

---

It is looking to me from some angles like my psychose displayed a pattern of
intellegence.It used my most hurtfull points,and it effectivly used them to
control me, thus giving it control of my own brain.But why ? Could this be a
form of communication ? Can an advanced binary, or advanced intellegence use
my adhd to supercharge my brain and program my trip ?

This trip had high intellegence written all over it, from the start ??

Can this intellegence feel us through the prehistoric sensors in our necks that
detect people behind us ? Does it work accross dimensions ? I was there I used
that sensor to detect the Appel Man, I was not in the same space as him I know
it, I was in black. I theorize that I was still waiting in the valley, to see
if the trip was a success or not ? Just like the updating wheels in my work
area, was I waiting for an update that, includes the code for a second chance ?


My trip was a calculation.Can the right calculation get you a second chance ?

The only data that I have received from a black coma,was fear and loneliness,I
detected nothing else at all, not even thought.Is someone else using our brains
during a psychosis to try and contact us? Leaving us to omit a beakon that uses
simple binary code.Lonliness,fear,on ,off, 0,1, black,white,up down,plus,minus.

From a picture point of view our universe does look like a black coma ? Is someone
showing us two examples of a black coma ? One in code one in picture ?

Are they showing us where to look ? Binary only gives two choices.Whoever this is,
has gambled 100% on this, absolutly.Only two choices possible.To send two examples
of 1 message shows that the are willing to put eveything on this.100%.This is
universal code, the pattern of 2 fits. The 100 % appears too, yet again in a
universal code.Coincidence ? A 100% belief in something in this universe really
does count for something.I am sure.

It looks like a call from someone ? In simple binary code.Fear,lonliness,
probably speaks to any lifeform, maybe we all if others are present are
linked by these two feelings ? They last long too, I still have the
feeling after 3 months..Good way of sending a binary code that takes
time to decifer ? even though it is simple.

The universe could be a very super high digital picture, like a hologram with
endless resolution maybe ? Just like the halicinations that I saw.Was I allowed
to see this during my trip ? The 4d picture of my bubble that I saw was the
most detailed image I have ever seen, was it an example of this ?

A simple binary code is emited to tell us,where to look. it is so simple it
must have taken great intellegence to write it.

I was facing towards death, I predict that the coma is to stop me seeing it..
A blindfold maybe ? Remember my rational awake concience was not there, he was
in the bubble, thus not blocking my view.When I floated backwards down death
valley I could only observe in a forward direction.I could not see behind.

I wonder if viewing death would create an endless loop that could destroy our
inivese ? I got the same feeling when I looked into the flower.It is fair to
assume a connection, the pattern of 2 fits.Two choices again.One thing could
control this, the master switch.We can not push it, it is done for us based
on calculation.

---

When I saw the flower effect,the image that I got based on only feeling, seemed
to be of a really abnormally crazy thing,it moved and it acted like it was
really out of it's mind, it was sort of like an insane,"something",that was at
that tiny,tiny momemnt in time, completely insane and crazy.The pattern of the
changing images were just like Mr Einstein in the foto, with his tongue stuck
out. He must have seen this image of madness in the flower too, that was his
interpretation of the flower effect. I am 100% sure. I saw exactly the same
thing, when I saw the flower effect too.Complete insanity, but it found that
insanity funny.I enjoyed seeing that, it made me smile and see myself.

In the foto Einstein is saying, I am crazy I know it, but you have to be like
this to be able understand the universe.I got that same feeling too from the
images that I felt and saw while interacting with the flower effect, like
something was telling me that it was insane, and that it found that funny too.
BLAAAAAA , [tongue out]! I loved it man really.

I always do that too to try and laugh off my dissabillities and my mental problems,
I say to people, look I am not insane, and I do that very same thing. Was I looking
at myself maybe ? Has this trip now entered a new fase, not sure ?

The images were there and then not.I wonder if I was witnessing a dream ? ?unable to
place things definatly,, even if I looked directly at them ? I witnessed that same
effect months later,when anti psychose medicine that made me lose my view on reality
was given to me.With my ear echo too I was completely in dream land if I had believed
the visual and sound evidence that I witnessed. If 3 people spoke to me at once
my ear echo produced 6 different points of sound, added to not being able to fix
posisions of anything I viewed for definate. I became confused.But I knew 100% that
I was in reality at the time.I felt exactly like that, during any interaction with
the flower effect. Maybe dreaming and crazyness have a link ? Maybe crazyness is an
out of control dream in some way ?

I see a pattern here. One is an image of total insanity for a micron of nothing
in time..Maybe 0 it self ? and a very precicely calculated code/number, that could
only have been reached with with a completely insane set of insanely high
complex calculations, that were being constantly multiplied by my 100% gambles on
reality and my life.

It looks like the main brain is doing my trip too, to get an insanely rediculous high,
complicated key code, that will be multipled again and again to get a second chance.
Using the flower effect to cheat the universe rules.Just like I did.

I predict that a second chance is very calculable,even for our universe. But it has to
be the most complicated massive calculation possible anywhere in the universe at the
point of death or just before.This in code terms makes it the heaviest thing in the
universe. The answer of the last calculation can only be 0 to get a restart.The
universe started on 0,I see a pattern of this number.Could 00 be the code ? Binary.
0 looks to me like meaning beginning from one point of view. 0 is the only possible
answer of the final calculation too.Two times a nill, does that mean anything ? One
means life/death, depending on your point of view. one means restart.

Multipliers are being used to boost the speed of the growing calculation before time runs
out, to far beyond normal growing speed,,,a sort of breaking the speed of light in code
terms ? The patterns are very simelar to having to boost an object above normal to get it
over a wall or a barrier.Has the master brain seen a way of jumping over the top possible
calculation at the point of death,by using multipliers as a boost mechanism to cheat time
? Normal restraints of thinking are removed if you are crazy, insane briefly too.Psychose
brain keep coming up in this whole story,you have to be crazy to be able to see it, or
calculate it sort of thing.

The picture of the universe looks like a psychose.Only a binary message is emitted from
coma victims.Fear Lonliness, also binary.Also looks like a pychose description.With a
slightly different point of view I can see the link.Psychose and 0 ,100% keeps on showing
up in the universal code and the patterns.Especially when something special happens.

An instant restart point, for a new second chance.. 0 ? The final keycode can be uploaded.
I predict 0.

A huge complicated code could never work in a new starting universe.0, or 0+0 making
it binary can be the only answer from the last calculation. 0 springs to mind as insanely simple, the
most simple number of the lot.Calculated from the most complicated number
possible to calculate in the given time.Only great intellegence as powerfull as the one
I saw through the codes during my trip, could be smart enough to calculate the ultimate
number,to be able to land back at the start.I saw a second chance is possible,I got one.
If it works for me, why can the same trick not work for a universe ?

This absolutly amazing intellegence I trusted 100% to find my way home during my pychose.
I trusted it and it lead me to safety, because I believed in it. After observing this
intellegence through the code,I am 100% certain that it can solve this ultimate equasion,
while sticking its tongue out to the universal regulators, as it slips in the ultimaate
restart code to get another chance..And all while they do not see ....This intellegence
is a totally crazy, insane thing, just for a blink of an eye,every so often..But I
absolutly respect it 100%. Look at the foto of Einstein with the tongue sticking out.That
is an image of the universe and how it seems, and has to be to make it work.Einstein saw
that crazyness when he saw the flower, I am absolutly sure of that too.

---

I see that my information is causing great intrest.Well not really.

I am surprised that no one is willing to take a chance to at least consider this.
Coma patients need some help to get back.I felt their desperation, and
their lonliness.I am taking the chance to help them even if it makes me look
a right twat to everyone.I am willing to do anything to help them, you people
here with high intellegence could look at my data.Maybe you will see something
that CAN help coma patients to wake up.If not so what, you took a chance ?

Take a chance on my data...look and think, ,what if ??? Maybe I do have something
here.Not one person has asked me for the full account.I ask nothing I give everything
for free, absolutly......Over 60 paragrafs of high detail information of an NDE.So much
information on this event is worth a look.Even if I am crazy, so what it is worth the
chance to help coma patients with at least a theory.Has anyone else here got a
better idea to wake coma patients up right now ?

Even if it is a dream, there might be something in it that can help people.

I bet that that someone here is too intellegent to let this go ? Take the chance ?
I might have important information here,dont be blind use your intellegence
to find something in my data.

If I tell this story in real time, it would take me over 6 hours.For 10-30 seconds of coma only.
I used my autism to get a really, really detailed look at my NDE.I used my autism as a tool.
Maybe autism techniques can be used to spy on things that we cannot see and interperate ?
My adhd seems to have charged my brain capabillities, could it be used to charge a
scientists brain up so they can for a short time, have a turbo brain ?
There must be something weird going on ????? Be intelllegent, follow the code trail.

---

I just had an idea ? Maybe something.

The prehistoric feeling of someone walking behind that is still active in us Humans
is still working.It is very scattered, making it hard to feel, and invisible to ordinary
people.It is hard to locate an object for definate with this sense, I believe it is
because it is scattered, only connecting for a brief time.

But I believe that we are connected to the valley by this sense.Perfectly hidden door ????

I have autism I could feel reality through this prehistoric feeling during my black coma.
I was not aware of it completely, I could feel it and I could not?? Someone was holding
me when I went into the black, I could barely feel him, but I know there was a very, very
tiny feeling of his presence.My awake side in the void did not detect it.I just
remembered that as I was reading my account of my NDE.

Autism gives us an extra fine detail in vision and feelings, that normal people do not have.
We are very good at recognising patterns too.Is this idea not even worth looking into ?
My whole NDE account is from a completely new angle, in super detaail.

I would suggest that vibrating the back of the neck by playing music against it could
give a coma patient, a fix on reality.Keep in mind that they do not have any preception
of time.

It might even be a way to wake them up.Take the chance that I might be right, for them.

---

If my dream was real,It looks like space cam be dimmed.It goes see through.
I have updated the text again,

Even if this is a dream, it was a real good one.Might still get good information about
the human brain.Autism can be used as a tool, so can adhd.Autism gives a real
close detailed look, ordinary people cannot do this.Maybe autism can be usefull to
spy on other things too ?


I also noticed that reality shone through to the valley.It looked less nice from outside.

"The unfinished piece of space on my left was almost whole.I can see small points of
white light through the pieces that have not gone see through yet."

If this is real it looks like space is not see through ? Can that be true ?

Reality was 90 degrees to my right,when I entered the valley.It was lower in view,maybe
something like 40 degrees ??? Not sure ? The precies place that I landed on before
I turned right towards the hologram,was that same angle too..Well I am pretty sure.Maybe
they are linked,,two times 40 turning up in this is binary,,,also have to consider code
then as a possibillity, there could be a link ?? Have to correct the angle back sort of
thing I am thinking of ? Very,very preciese calculatin needed.Maybe the door into the
valley is at 40 degrees, so maybe the exit has to be the same ? Different angle of view
may complicate how that shape, angle is precieved and valued by the universe,from a
different plain of view forwards, from that point ? This might be so complicated that
an angle plus a hologram might work, depending on how you interperate and view them ?

The entrance point to the valley from reality felt very industrial, it also felt like a
place where the customer does not see.I expected to see things that I never saw before,
like wormholes, black holes, Steve Martin tell a funny joke.Nothing special at all,I
could see reality shining through,on the right,below, but the valley seemed too dark to
shine back, it was a sort of dark room, that looked deliberate.I looked forward to see
if time flowed as I floated back, but it was just a wall that seemed to go in the
distance to my right,as the outer border of reality,but not to the left, that was the
corner.That wall carried on behind me paralel on my left towards death[I presume death].
From the valley entrance,it looked like reality from inside looked nicer than it really
is,the valley entrance felt and looked like reality should look.It seemed less polished.
It looks like if you can turn the brightness of space down, or poke holes in it, that it
is see through.The way we see space is wrong, it is not as see through as we think ?
There appears to be something behind it.Pay attention later on when I talk about the
unfinished piece of space in my bubble.Same effect as this, but slightly different.


[This is really interesting]
I also remember where I stopped and turned 90 degrees right with my head. I thought ??
just before that, I am sure that I had already started to turn my head before I stopped.I
then saw the red light in the last pixel of my right eye.My brain then turned 90 degrees,
it felt weird, I felt like my concience was split again almost. This is the position that
I viewed from the bubble as being a scanned link to reality.I thought that I was turning
my head at that time.This movement or the previous movements added to this head turn,
seem to have caused slightly more momentum, and a slightly right pull, to be able to
cross over from the valley, slightly diaganally towards the hologram ?? This image was
absolutly astonishing,the resolution was unbelievable.When I came out of coma,all the
information of this event appears to have also been left right in my brain.It took me
weeks to try and move it around my brain and to try and analize it to see what happened.

After I had seen the "Flower and the train effect twice, two images appeared to my
left on the floor.One was a piece of space that was unfinished.I could see points of
light behind it, but they became invisible when the space in front became whole.
There is also a broken white line leading to the border of my bubble.The first piece
of the line was less bright than the rest.I saw small spinning wheel appear on my
right, I was not sure what it was for but I saw a pattern that linked it to the images,
and the sudden drop in my sleepings selfs code intake when I looked at the flower and
the train effect,made me think timer.

---

If this is right, try viewing space as the opposite of fog. The denser and the thicker, the more that it seems to be see through to us,
.

But from my observations , the oppisite point of view if you can witnes the trick,it only blocks what is behind it.But you have to see the trick to understand it.

Basically space is 100 % not see through, but to us it is.

From one point of view space is solid.but you are able to walk through it, but not pass over to the next point beyond it.Like a border ?

It may work the ooposite to a hologram.Preventing a gap being jumped ??

Space might not be reflective so we do not see its real self ???? That would make it work opposite to a hologram..space might be the oppsite to light \???? Light moves as fast as light. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\space does not move ? Total opposites ??

One is the fastest thing,,,?? One is the slowest ? looks on off too ? Binary patterns again.

Space might be coded, I can see a binary pattern to the properties.Oposite to our preception of it.we are 100% wrong how we view space.

When I saw the piece of space in my bubble it was presented as a slightly oblong shaped tile ?Space might be in pieces, that means calculation, and dimention in size to it.

It looked like looking up to the night sky sort of thing, black background, stars but I think that the white dots were smaller than stars,,,,they may have been super tiny too ? Could not scan it, I could only observe it, and make choices based on my visual understanding of it.. But as it seemed to harden, it went see through blocking the view of the night sky.Eventually it just looks like the rest, invisable.

Later on I got the preception that a piece of space had appeared in front of me, when I heard the appel man shout, andy ?between me and a sound/preception that someone wass there. I think that only the preception of space appeared to me, because there was a point in front of me to fix on.That indicates space...I understood it, i did not have to think about it.it looks like that could be true, i understood it.

---

When I was in my bubble I had 180 degrees view.I could see each side plus forward.My eyes were
looking through two holes in front of the bubble.The enviroment was like it was glued just around my eyes.

If I was to be able to have 5 more forming a cube cross shape ? Or maybe a crystal shape, that does
spring to mind, the pattern does look likely very simelar ? If the centre is for viewing it ?
Would that mean 6 times 180 degrees ? Plus the cube that my brain is in, in the middle ?
Is 6 or 7 times 180 degrees possible in maths ? Maybe then the dimension of our reality around
us can be measured ?

When the appel man shouted me I got then an idea of distance/space in front of me.It could
mean then that the bubble opposite is needed to be able to fix on,to create a thought and
a belief of distance ?.Even though it is an illusion ? this cold be viewd as looking in, or looking
out depending on your angle of view and thought ? Not really sure about that though, it is
more like a possibillity, than fact ?

2 dimensially thinking ,I feel like our brains are under a horizontal wheel.It turns us to another
set of eyeholes to view another angle. This makes us think bubble shaped.I say that space could
be cube shaped.we are viewing space totally wrong it seems. This if true could mean that space
has a dimension, it can be calculated,and making it binary and codeable too.I see binary and
codeable/code/calculation as the same things.That is why I see and understand this in this
way.Maybe our brains are in the middle of the crystal shape, a sort of girascope oriented thing,
that alters view angle to force a false belief of distance.No evidence of falsness is available, we
just accept it.No choice.

Chaanging your angle of view and thought of something in this universe, like a shape or an angle,
seems to alter its properties in some way ? Probably also its universal code value ?

---

If the interpretation of a joke like I suspect, is a code without size, or very small. Maybe the universes computer/main brain is also emotionel ? It can instantly think in emotiens, mabe it is faster because it needs no time to calculate ? An emotional brain , that uses a moment of insanity, to be able to compute insane calculations. I can start to see this intellegence, it is amazingly smart, through how simple it works.Without code, but still it can control everything through meer emotions, that are caused by interperating a feeling as fact.This intellegence is absolutly wonderfull.

---

Hello everyone,I thought that I would come back here and talk to myself again.
Thanks to my pattern recognition capabillities I have noticed a pattern of.
No one cares.....

I chose this place because I bet that intellegence could help me to figure out what happened to me ?
Maybe I was wrong ? No one here wondered how I could have so much information
after a 10-30 second black out ? Even if it is all crap ? But I believe it is genuine.Absolutly.

Even if this was just a dream Autism is definatly usefull for studying things.The pattern recognition
part of it works vey well. I used it to time my ADHD, it saw it so well that I can make a brain image of
how I interperate it. A red wheel thus.The things that showed up all over my NDE.

When I was studying the patterns and the images on my trip, autistic pattern recognition worked
like a dream, to help to decifer holograms, halucinations and code,,,

I wonder why no one ever saw this ?

I was in the rest place being treated for my psychose breakdown a month ago.One
of my fellow patients could not speak to anyone.The drugs that they gave him made
him unable to place objects definatly.Even if only one person spoke to him,he
just did not know which one of them to listen to sort of thing. I felt really
bad for him being so lonely, it troubled me.Just like a dream, he could not place
objects definatly.

I tried to build a 3d brain image of how I saw his problem, so that I could first
try and understand it more.I got a bad reaction to my anti psychose pills, I was on
the floor unable to place objects definatly, just like him.3 people were talking to
me, my ear echo made me hear 6 points of sound.I imediatly saw a pattern between
what was happening to me at that time, my fellow patients problem, and my brain
image of his problem.I then thought of a way of simulating this by using a
blindfold and 6 speakers timed to give an echo, being a reasonable way of showing
the doctors how the medicine affects people.All while I layed on the floor, unable
to stand, hearing all the voice echoes still going around my head.

Autistic Pattern recognition is very versitile.As an adult,it showed me the inside of my
own brain.I used it as a compas, it helped me to follow the code trail home from Alice In
Nightmare Land.Studying ADHD using my Autism to spy on it,may have upgraded my
brain image graphics too ?

If you are Autistic, you are not stupid.You are special.

---

30 Sep 2000 I joined seti.

I am obviously in the wong place, trying to get help to try and understand
my psychose nde.

I just deleted my account.No more seti.

doei.

---

Andy,

Just so you know you're not being ignored, I have been reading your thread (as many others have been.) You may have to accept, if you are "on the spectrum," that you think differently than most other people (not saying better or worse, of course, just differently) so that they may have difficulty following your narrative, thus no replies yet. I know this from experience as my spouse has Asperger; sometimes I have to puzzle out what she is saying as it can be ambiguous as she assumes knowledge I don't have. For example, you refer to this "flower and train effect" which I have never encountered before and couldn't find anywhere, so may be something you created in order to name and remember it so it could be repeated and understood, as part of your self-awareness. Of course, anyone reading the thread is not going to know this if it was a name you created.

If no one replies, you can consider this a "journal thread" to post your thoughts. Here is a well-known example which has closed now due to inactivity, but bluestar/musicplayer (same person) wrote about 2,800 posts in it. He didn't get many if any replies, probably for the reason I mentioned that others may have had difficulty following his narrative, but at least he had a safe space to express himself (within the forum policies of course!)

I hope that this can help you to feel more welcome here. :^)

---

I had to come back to thank you for answering.I apprecisate it.But I am done with seti, sorry.

I found the answer myself.I really need someone with a good insight into psychose brains to
read it though.I have found an Italian doctor who studies brains and nde, she seems very
interested.There is a massive amount of scientific data in the file, it is gigantic.Mostly
halucinations etc.

It is a complete upstart of my brain after the psychose, I seem to have seen it all.My brain
was doing the science things to see if it was awake or not.It looks like I had two psychosis
at the same time,one accross my brain and one just in there.It is weird.It looks like
they were used to speed my brain up, it is really weird.

Or maybe my brain thought of a way of stealing the brain resorses from my psychose, by
getting me to do something that I thought was real.My psychose was out of control.

The wheels that I saw were there because my brain had a link to the outside.I was having
a halucination at the time.While I was in coma I remember trying to locate the guy holding
me with the sense behind our necks that detect people walking behind us.

The flower effect as I call it, happens if you sit on a train and see a flower, sometimes it seems
like time stops.It happened 4 times in my NDE.Each time with a consequence in the dream.My
ear echo appeared tooo,.

---

Could my wackey science trip around the universe, have been my brains way of stealing
resorces command from the psychose,that controled me ? Thus being able to slow it
down and making it significantly weaker ? Allowing both of me to get out of the coma,
and the nothingness, and back into conciessness ? I think that this has a real good
possibillity.Well almost ??

My belief is that because of my never ending attention to the four rotating sore
points on the main adhd loop wheel, which is really a young psychose.I was
constantly in a way confirming to my brain that this was priority one, and that
I wanted to keep playing this senario.My brain then endlessly allocates ever
more resorces to the ever speeding up loop, creating the final deadly unstoppable
loop to destruction,psychose,and coma.

View my obsession with my problems as an addiction, I do not want to give it up.
But that then effectivly gives the psychose the command over my brain resorces,
a very dangerous situation indeed.So maybe tricking me to chose another senareo
that I believe is real could give my brain the power of command back,that would
significantly increase the odds of survival and slowing the loop to a much more
managable,safe speed.

Right from the start of the attack,I notice that I was very rational and cool, I
did seem to interperate the wheels and everything that I saw in very good detail.
If I read that, I cannot believe that, that cool guy is me.I am normally nervous
and no good under preasure.But at that time I was not sure if I was dreaming or
not ? I felt like if it was real or not keeping a cool head and my eyes open and
observing everything, was my only chance of survival. The beautifull brain images
not only mesmorized me, they were also very taxing to calculate, needing a lot
of brain power too, to display and to animate.Maybe this forced resorces to be
taken from the adhd/psychose loop to power them too, adding to the slowing down
of my brain ?

When I decided to play the Scientist Alice In Wonderland senareo, I believed 100%
that it was real,and the logical choice,under the circumstances, I did want to go
with the flow until proof of dream or halucination was available at least.The wheel
of my thoughts was in this senario too, but maybe playing this version of it,it was
used to boost the power for the calculation, that was needed to slow the spin
of the dangerously fast adhd loop, that was going to become possibly unstoppable if
nothing was done fast to stop it ? When I left the black coma I did see a set of
sigfnificantly slower turning medium size wheels, indicating that the psychose was
under control, and not dangerous, but still needed slowing further...

I always puzzled at the updating wheels being recalculated in the later stages of
my attack/halucinations at work ? They looked right from the start to be coded
for a destination,or coded and recalculated for a specific purpose ? The increasing
speed of the adhd loop was also changing constantly, so these two things do have
a real chance of being linked in some way ? Especially as they were both evolving.
Maybe all enrergy from the spinning wheels,that I saw in my work enviroment,
equelled the power of the psychose ? Maybe only when these two masses/speeds are
absululy equal, is an attemt to stop, or swap the psychose for a twin possible.

Maybe there is another calculation that reaches the same needed key code ? But the
identical twin includes a shut down calculatiion instead of a speeding up
calculation.Could the psychose be tricked into thinking that it is not real like I
was ? I was tricked into believing 100% that my scientific trip was real, but
because I was not shown any evidence to the conturary, I was forced to believe it ?
Can this be done to a psychose ? While its identical opposite twin slips in backwards
and on another plane of sight to hide the trick, until it is too late to shout cheat ?

From one point of view it looked like my brain and the psychose were fighting for
the command of resoreces allocations.Lucky for me my brain won.

Maybe the calculations to do the trip and play the round the universe senareo out,plus displaying and animating the super high resolution, stunning brain images all together
were enough to be able to significantly weaken the psychose ? Releasing me from the
black coma, and me from Alice In nowhereland ?

---

I had to come back to thank you for answering.I apprecisate it.But I am done with seti, sorry.,.

Andy.

Will you tell us what you wish or need from this community and forum?

We can see that you are in a place in your life that is not what it should be.

You say so much but sometimes fewer words might express more.

As a forum or project we can not fix you but we are a community and human beings.

In this you are welcome to just be and accept companionship.

If you need any extra help I am sure we can gather together to find out links to mental health or social support in the Netherlands.

Leave if you wish but stay if you can.



(Andy. Are you on psychiatric medication. Have you stopped taking it or has it stopped working?)

I ran away from the rest home,the pills made me sick.

I knew that I needed to find intellegence, that is why I came here.

I though brain things would be allowed here.Sorry about that.
Since my psychose I think that the universe is a brain.

I do not mind if you delete the thread.I tried to edit some.

---

I ran away from the rest home,the pills made me sick.

I though brain things would be allowed here.Sorry about that.
Since my psychose I think that the universe is a brain.

Long brain posts make it near impossible for others to understand or respond to you.

I assume if you post to a forum you want others to respond?

You have been told you are welcome here so carry on in your thread.

Later if or when you feel comfortable reading other people's threads and responding in a like mind then have a go at that.

I'm suggesting that fewer well chosen words can say far more.

If you have stopped your meds because they made you feel too unwell then don't give up. Get your psychiatrist to give you something else to try.

Medication shouldn't make you feel unwell or doped up. It should at least make you feel comfortable enough to get on with the basics in life.

Anyway Andy.

You can find yourself a place in the SETI community.

Naturally it takes a little time and means some change is needed.

I do not mind if you delete the thread.I tried to edit some.

Nobody will do that unless you ask specifically....and even then I know there are several people who would say 'hold on'...

If you break the rules of the forum either the community or the mods wil speak out. Otherwise just try and join in.


Darn. Now you've got me typing long posts :)~