Puns & Limericks

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Message 1990415 - Posted: 17 Apr 2019, 19:24:34 UTC - in response to Message 1990414.  

Those were "awful"!


Excellent! 😀
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.”
---Margaret Mead
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Message 1990501 - Posted: 18 Apr 2019, 13:25:58 UTC - in response to Message 1990477.  

GROAN! And thank you.
A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association)
"Over the hill? WHAT Hill? I don't REMEMBER any hill...." (from a bumper sticker I bought at a truck stop).
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Message 1990538 - Posted: 18 Apr 2019, 19:10:56 UTC

Nothing in Ireland is real, even the rocks are a sham.

Discovering Ireland was an ERSEtwhile activity

Is that yourself down there? No it's meself, begorrah.
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Message 1990604 - Posted: 19 Apr 2019, 3:56:46 UTC - in response to Message 1990538.  

Nothing in Ireland is real, even the rocks are a sham.

Discovering Ireland was an ERSEtwhile activity

Is that yourself down there? No it's meself, begorrah.


I formally invite you to continue :)

Tom
A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association)
"Over the hill? WHAT Hill? I don't REMEMBER any hill...." (from a bumper sticker I bought at a truck stop).
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Message 1990784 - Posted: 20 Apr 2019, 9:23:00 UTC

I like the Irish add ons at the end of every statement.

They have gone to Dublin so they have

It is a fine day so it is

I was pissed last night so I was
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Message 1992096 - Posted: 1 May 2019, 7:27:27 UTC

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds & whey
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her
So she ate that as well

Jack & Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
Jill said pissed again as usual
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Message 1992305 - Posted: 2 May 2019, 17:17:52 UTC

I formally invite you to continue :)

Don't blame me, blame 'im!

Incy Wincy spider climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain and washed poor Incy out
Out came the sunshine, and dried up all the rain
Incy Wincy spider said I'm not bloody doing that again

I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.
Then it dawned on me.
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Message 1992442 - Posted: 3 May 2019, 15:58:48 UTC

GROAN..... (and thank you)
A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association)
"Over the hill? WHAT Hill? I don't REMEMBER any hill...." (from a bumper sticker I bought at a truck stop).
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Message 1992463 - Posted: 3 May 2019, 18:58:04 UTC

Not quite a pun or limerick but still amusing.

The Foreman says to Seamus and Paddy, go and measure the height of the flagpole.

The pair stand there scratching their heads on how to do it, when Paddy say "I know, we'll chop it down, then it will be easier to measure it.

That's no good at all says Seamus, you silly old fool.

He wants the height, not the length.
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Message 1992518 - Posted: 4 May 2019, 0:59:44 UTC - in response to Message 1992463.  


He wants the height, not the length.


Your right, it wasn't a pun but it is worth PUNishment!


Tom
A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association)
"Over the hill? WHAT Hill? I don't REMEMBER any hill...." (from a bumper sticker I bought at a truck stop).
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Message 1992526 - Posted: 4 May 2019, 2:06:52 UTC
Last modified: 4 May 2019, 2:10:20 UTC

One of the problems with Limericks is that we associate them with Irish people. It is interesting since Limericks are historically an English invention.

There is a kind assumption (probably due to English imperialism and jingoism) that the 'Irish' speak with a lyrical metre.

A true Limerick should be baudy and naughty it has been said. Obviously on this forum we have to use language and reference that is acceptable socially to a broad spectrum of people and has to be some what youth friendly.

Can I ask that we try not to give reference to other cultures unless it is a truth that can be shared in an acceptable way.

No more Irish limericks or puns that wouldn't be acceptable to Irish people at large please.

Although of course you can knock my city (Brum \ Birmingham) all you like. :) (Within forum rules.) (Brummies can take it :)))

Sorry for not posting a Limerick but I thought I would make a strong suggestion that we don't knock others.

If anyone is interested I can always start a thread about "Forms of cultural expression" - Where we could look at the cultural roots of any type of cultural expression spoken written or otherwise. Might be interesting?


I will move or hide this post and responses if people feel a thread discovering our ideas about expression is a good thing. (In a gentle seti-cafe style of course.)

I will also remove it if the OP requests.
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Message 1992545 - Posted: 4 May 2019, 5:37:08 UTC
Last modified: 4 May 2019, 5:59:45 UTC

Continuing on regardless at the request of Tom.

I will now insult all sailors, expect many red X's

The boy stood on the burning deck
Hid body all a quiver
He gave a cough
His leg fell off
And floated down the river

I couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang
Then it came back to me.
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Message 1992571 - Posted: 4 May 2019, 12:54:43 UTC

I know "puns and limericks" is not as open ended as a "joke" thread. So we really need to try to restrict it to puns and/or limericks.

That said let me repeat one that was at the beginning of a R.A. Heinlein YA novel. I believe it has also been posted in this thread. And it is part of a book called "Out on a Limerick" which has a really nice collection.

There was once a lady named Bright.
Who could travel much faster than light.
She left one day,
in a relative way.
And came home the preceding Night.
A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association)
"Over the hill? WHAT Hill? I don't REMEMBER any hill...." (from a bumper sticker I bought at a truck stop).
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Message 1992575 - Posted: 4 May 2019, 13:05:06 UTC
Last modified: 4 May 2019, 13:07:02 UTC

Another nerdly one I remember from my childhood:

A mathematician confided
That a Möbius strip is one-sided,
And you’ll get quite a laugh
If you cut one in half,
For it stays in one piece when divided.


And of course, its sequel:

A mathematician named Klein
Thought the Möbius strip was divine.
He said: "If you glue
The edges of two
You'll get a weird bottle like mine."

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.”
---Margaret Mead
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Message 1992579 - Posted: 4 May 2019, 13:24:50 UTC

There was a young lady from Ealing
Who had a most peculiar feeling
She lay on her back
And saw a great crack
That went right across her ceiling
Bob Smith
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Message 1992588 - Posted: 4 May 2019, 14:51:45 UTC - in response to Message 1992526.  

Practically most Irish enjoy a good Craic & often the best limericks & jokes involve the Irish. :-)
So as an Irishman, I say let them come, both the good & the bad.
The ugly you can keep to yourselves. :-)
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Message 1995442 - Posted: 27 May 2019, 11:50:52 UTC

Fart frequently,


Its a gas...
A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association)
"Over the hill? WHAT Hill? I don't REMEMBER any hill...." (from a bumper sticker I bought at a truck stop).
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Message 1995464 - Posted: 27 May 2019, 15:09:59 UTC - in response to Message 1995442.  


“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.”
---Margaret Mead
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Message 2006230 - Posted: 7 Aug 2019, 23:34:37 UTC

Ate the cat's dinner by mistake.
Don’t ask meoww.
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Message 2010686 - Posted: 4 Sep 2019, 22:44:09 UTC

Q: What do you call a fat psychic?

A: A four chin teller.
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Message boards : Cafe SETI : Puns & Limericks


 
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