Nothing in Ireland is real, even the rocks are a sham.

Discovering Ireland was an ERSEtwhile activity

Is that yourself down there? No it's meself, begorrah.

I formally invite you to continue :)

Tom

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A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association).

GROAN..... (and thank you)

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A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association).

He wants the height, not the length.

Your right, it wasn't a pun but it is worth PUNishment!


Tom

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A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association).

One of the problems with Limericks is that we associate them with Irish people. It is interesting since Limericks are historically an English invention.

There is a kind assumption (probably due to English imperialism and jingoism) that the 'Irish' speak with a lyrical metre.

A true Limerick should be baudy and naughty it has been said. Obviously on this forum we have to use language and reference that is acceptable socially to a broad spectrum of people and has to be some what youth friendly.

Can I ask that we try not to give reference to other cultures unless it is a truth that can be shared in an acceptable way.

No more Irish limericks or puns that wouldn't be acceptable to Irish people at large please.

Although of course you can knock my city (Brum \ Birmingham) all you like. :) (Within forum rules.) (Brummies can take it :)))

Sorry for not posting a Limerick but I thought I would make a strong suggestion that we don't knock others.

If anyone is interested I can always start a thread about "Forms of cultural expression" - Where we could look at the cultural roots of any type of cultural expression spoken written or otherwise. Might be interesting?


I will move or hide this post and responses if people feel a thread discovering our ideas about expression is a good thing. (In a gentle seti-cafe style of course.)

I will also remove it if the OP requests.

I know "puns and limericks" is not as open ended as a "joke" thread. So we really need to try to restrict it to puns and/or limericks.

That said let me repeat one that was at the beginning of a R.A. Heinlein YA novel. I believe it has also been posted in this thread. And it is part of a book called "Out on a Limerick" which has a really nice collection.

There was once a lady named Bright.
Who could travel much faster than light.
She left one day,
in a relative way.
And came home the preceding Night.

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A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association).

Another nerdly one I remember from my childhood:

A mathematician confided
That a Möbius strip is one-sided,
And you’ll get quite a laugh
If you cut one in half,
For it stays in one piece when divided.

And of course, its sequel:

A mathematician named Klein
Thought the Möbius strip was divine.
He said: "If you glue
The edges of two
You'll get a weird bottle like mine."

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There was a young lady from Ealing
Who had a most peculiar feeling
She lay on her back
And saw a great crack
That went right across her ceiling

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Bob Smith
Member of Seti PIPPS (Pluto is a Planet Protest Society)
Somewhere in the (un)known Universe?

Practically most Irish enjoy a good Craic & often the best limericks & jokes involve the Irish. :-)
So as an Irishman, I say let them come, both the good & the bad.
The ugly you can keep to yourselves. :-)

Fart frequently,


Its a gas...

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A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association).

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Ate the cat's dinner by mistake.
Don’t ask meoww.

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Q: What do you call a fat psychic?

A: A four chin teller.

Owwww!

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A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association).

Q: Where does a fish keep its money?
A: In a river bank.

Q: Where does a fish keep its money?
A: In a river bank.

Sigh..... Puns are forever....

Tom

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A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association).

"Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the 'no-bell' prize."

If you or your kids are desperate for free collection of 99 Knock Knock jokes.... there is one available on Amazon e-books.

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A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association).

"Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the 'no-bell' prize."

I must be slow this morning. It took me a while to realize this was a "twofer" joke.
A reference to knock-knock.... with a Pun!
Congratulations!

Tom

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A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association).

Went to the coast the other day.
Cod be a nice plaice to halibut.

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Bob Smith
Member of Seti PIPPS (Pluto is a Planet Protest Society)
Somewhere in the (un)known Universe?

What is a Ninja drinking??

Kara-Tea