Puns & Limericks

Author	Message
Carlos Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 9 Jun 99 Posts: 29804 Credit: 57,275,487 RAC: 157	Message 1971047 - Posted: 19 Dec 2018, 14:43:34 UTC There was a young man From Cork who got Limericks And Hikus confused. ID: 1971047 ·

Michael Belanger, W1DGL Send message Joined: 30 Jul 00 Posts: 1887 Credit: 7,441,278 RAC: 49	Message 1971631 - Posted: 23 Dec 2018, 4:32:14 UTC I stood on the top diving board of my local pool with a big fish under my arm. The lifeguard shouts up, "what are you doing up there?" I said, "A triple somersault with a pike'" ID: 1971631 ·

Michael Belanger, W1DGL Send message Joined: 30 Jul 00 Posts: 1887 Credit: 7,441,278 RAC: 49	Message 1971632 - Posted: 23 Dec 2018, 4:32:52 UTC A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cows ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder. ID: 1971632 ·

Michael Belanger, W1DGL Send message Joined: 30 Jul 00 Posts: 1887 Credit: 7,441,278 RAC: 49	Message 1971633 - Posted: 23 Dec 2018, 4:36:16 UTC I had a map of Italy tattooed on my chest. Iâ€™ve got really sore Naples now. ID: 1971633 ·

Dr Who Fan Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 8 Jan 01 Posts: 3206 Credit: 715,342 RAC: 4	Message 1971681 - Posted: 23 Dec 2018, 15:55:24 UTC The oldest computer was owned by Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with very limited memory. Just 1 byte - and everything crashed! ID: 1971681 ·

Michael Belanger, W1DGL Send message Joined: 30 Jul 00 Posts: 1887 Credit: 7,441,278 RAC: 49	Message 1971714 - Posted: 23 Dec 2018, 20:49:54 UTC We've just had a King Wenceslas special Christmas pizza delivered. It's deep pan crisp and even. ID: 1971714 ·

Tom M Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 28 Nov 02 Posts: 5124 Credit: 276,046,078 RAC: 462	Message 1971956 - Posted: 25 Dec 2018, 18:33:40 UTC - in response to Message 1971681. The oldest computer was owned by Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with very limited memory. Just 1 byte - and everything crashed! 'ORRIBLE! A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association). ID: 1971956 ·

Tom M Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 28 Nov 02 Posts: 5124 Credit: 276,046,078 RAC: 462	Message 1971957 - Posted: 25 Dec 2018, 18:35:59 UTC - in response to Message 1971633. I had a map of Italy tattooed on my chest. Iâ€™ve got really sore Naples now. I think you are really on a kick as the most prolific "punter" here. Tom A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association). ID: 1971957 ·

Tom M Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 28 Nov 02 Posts: 5124 Credit: 276,046,078 RAC: 462	Message 1971958 - Posted: 25 Dec 2018, 18:37:16 UTC - in response to Message 1971047. There was a young man From Cork who got Limericks And Hikus confused. Nice ;) A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association). ID: 1971958 ·

Michael Belanger, W1DGL Send message Joined: 30 Jul 00 Posts: 1887 Credit: 7,441,278 RAC: 49	Message 1973631 - Posted: 5 Jan 2019, 16:07:06 UTC - in response to Message 1971957. I had a map of Italy tattooed on my chest. Iâ€™ve got really sore Naples now. I think you are really on a kick as the most prolific "punter" here. Tom I gotta give credit where it's due - got 99.999% of those from an Amateur Radio friend of mine in Cornwall, UK. ID: 1973631 ·

Carlos Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 9 Jun 99 Posts: 29804 Credit: 57,275,487 RAC: 157	Message 1973661 - Posted: 5 Jan 2019, 18:46:17 UTC There was a young lady so bright Who could travel much faster than light She went out one day In a relative way And returned on the previous night. ID: 1973661 ·

Tom M Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 28 Nov 02 Posts: 5124 Credit: 276,046,078 RAC: 462	Message 1985226 - Posted: 15 Mar 2019, 4:32:37 UTC Do you know how you can tell if a Frog is angry? Thats when they are "hopping mad" :) A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association). ID: 1985226 ·

Tom M Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 28 Nov 02 Posts: 5124 Credit: 276,046,078 RAC: 462	Message 1990299 - Posted: 16 Apr 2019, 20:32:20 UTC - in response to Message 1990224. Due to some heavy handedness I need to tie some loose ends up. "await with bated breath" Something is fishy here. Shouldn't that be "baited breath"? No, he missed off the first letter a :-)) got moved to the limerick and pun thread Isn't Limerick a county next to TipsyMary? Or Tyler too? A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association). ID: 1990299 ·

cRunchy Volunteer moderator Send message Joined: 3 Apr 99 Posts: 3555 Credit: 1,920,030 RAC: 3	Message 1990306 - Posted: 16 Apr 2019, 21:43:55 UTC - in response to Message 1990299. Man dresses up as a clown to entertain kids in the local hospital. What a lovely jester I thought. ID: 1990306 ·

Tom M Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 28 Nov 02 Posts: 5124 Credit: 276,046,078 RAC: 462	Message 1990330 - Posted: 17 Apr 2019, 3:08:16 UTC - in response to Message 1990306. Man dresses up as a clown to entertain kids in the local hospital. What a lovely jester I thought. OH! A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association). ID: 1990330 ·

Tom M Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 28 Nov 02 Posts: 5124 Credit: 276,046,078 RAC: 462	Message 1990337 - Posted: 17 Apr 2019, 4:08:29 UTC If you find Limericks painful to listen to. You should take your PUNishment like a man/woman/hshesh A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association). ID: 1990337 ·

Mr. Kevvy Volunteer moderator Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 15 May 99 Posts: 3776 Credit: 1,114,826,392 RAC: 3,319	Message 1990410 - Posted: 17 Apr 2019, 17:40:07 UTC Last modified: 17 Apr 2019, 17:57:03 UTC Some recycled SETI@Home puns and similar I've posted here over the years, now that there's finally a place for them... all original as far as I know. :^) Since I'm Canadian, I apologize in advance for any pain caused. ðŸ˜€ -------------- I accidentally bought AMD instead of NVidia video cards for my new SETI@Home computer, and now it won't be a top performer. I CUDA been a contender. BOINC is like modeling... it takes a lot of expensive silicon to have a nice RAC. I asked some of the top contributors what would be the best way to find intelligent extraterrestrials and they said I needed a good video card, so I got one. I ended up renting E.T., Contact and Close Encounters with it, so I guess they were right. A noted astronomer said that they are looking for extraterrestrial civilizations by searching for hot Dyson spheres. After giving the house a good clean with my Ball Vac, I found that it was rather warm. Should I advise NASA or the SETI Institute first? At first I thought BOINC was only for Apple Macintosh computers, as it requires at least one core. It must be true that aliens want to eat us if we can communicate with them in microwaves through dishes and a giant bowl. We finally discovered intelligent extraterrestrial beings. Coincidentally, they strongly resemble the platypus, an animal with both bird and mammal features. This made their communications complex and hard to analyze, but we soon figured out all we had to do was find the beak amplitude and dechirp with a fast Furrier transform. Results to be published on the web. //"Ducks" out of thread... ðŸ˜€ ID: 1990410 ·

Tom M Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 28 Nov 02 Posts: 5124 Credit: 276,046,078 RAC: 462	Message 1990414 - Posted: 17 Apr 2019, 19:16:27 UTC - in response to Message 1990410. Some recycled SETI@Home puns and similar I've posted here over the years, now that there's finally a place for them... all original as far as I know. :^) Since I'm Canadian, I apologize in advance for any pain caused. ðŸ˜€ -------------- I accidentally bought AMD instead of NVidia video cards for my new SETI@Home computer, and now it won't be a top performer. I CUDA been a contender. BOINC is like modeling... it takes a lot of expensive silicon to have a nice RAC. I asked some of the top contributors what would be the best way to find intelligent extraterrestrials and they said I needed a good video card, so I got one. I ended up renting E.T., Contact and Close Encounters with it, so I guess they were right. A noted astronomer said that they are looking for extraterrestrial civilizations by searching for hot Dyson spheres. After giving the house a good clean with my Ball Vac, I found that it was rather warm. Should I advise NASA or the SETI Institute first? At first I thought BOINC was only for Apple Macintosh computers, as it requires at least one core. It must be true that aliens want to eat us if we can communicate with them in microwaves through dishes and a giant bowl. We finally discovered intelligent extraterrestrial beings. Coincidentally, they strongly resemble the platypus, an animal with both bird and mammal features. This made their communications complex and hard to analyze, but we soon figured out all we had to do was find the beak amplitude and dechirp with a fast Furrier transform. Results to be published on the web. //"Ducks" out of thread... ðŸ˜€ Those were "awful"! Thank YOU for sharing. Tom A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association). ID: 1990414 ·

Mr. Kevvy Volunteer moderator Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 15 May 99 Posts: 3776 Credit: 1,114,826,392 RAC: 3,319	Message 1990415 - Posted: 17 Apr 2019, 19:24:34 UTC - in response to Message 1990414. Those were "awful"! Excellent! ðŸ˜€ ID: 1990415 ·

Tom M Volunteer tester Send message Joined: 28 Nov 02 Posts: 5124 Credit: 276,046,078 RAC: 462	Message 1990501 - Posted: 18 Apr 2019, 13:25:58 UTC - in response to Message 1990477. GROAN! And thank you. A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association). ID: 1990501 ·

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