Puns & Limericks

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Profile Tom M
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Message 1966352 - Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 4:28:21 UTC

I happen to love both and I want to hear some more of them ;)
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Message 1966354 - Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 4:33:02 UTC

Here is a Limerick I remember from the first page of a RAH juvenile I read "several" years ago.
I think it went something like this:

There once was a Lady named Bright
Who could travel much faster than light.
She left one day
In a relative way.
And came home the preceding night.
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Message 1966355 - Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 4:35:09 UTC

Here is the oldest pun I remember. I didn't invent it, I just remember it from about 1969.



What is two thirds of a pun?













PU
A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association)
"Over the hill? WHAT Hill? I don't REMEMBER any hill...." (from a bumper sticker I bought at a truck stop).
"If its Tourist Season why can't we shoot them?" (another bumper sticker)
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Profile Carlos Project Donor
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Message 1966373 - Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 5:35:55 UTC

The funding for SETI is vexing
With a lack of solutions perplexing
But on the horizon
They're hoping Verizon
Can setup unlimited texting.
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Message 1966506 - Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 22:53:57 UTC - in response to Message 1966373.  

The funding for SETI is vexing
With a lack of solutions perplexing
But on the horizon
They're hoping Verizon
Can setup unlimited texting.


~Sue~
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Message 1966517 - Posted: 22 Nov 2018, 0:14:07 UTC

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Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
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Message 1966881 - Posted: 24 Nov 2018, 18:48:12 UTC

I stripped naked for a calendar today.
"Put your clothes back on," said the shopkeeper, "You'll just have to pay the £3.99 like everybody else."
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Message 1966882 - Posted: 24 Nov 2018, 18:50:15 UTC
Last modified: 24 Nov 2018, 18:54:19 UTC

When I was little, my mom used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming I loved it.....
I didn't really, she was just putting words in my mouth.....
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Message 1966883 - Posted: 24 Nov 2018, 18:51:41 UTC

A truck containing 12 tons of 'Vicks' Vapo Rub has shed its load on I-40 westbound.
Police have released a statement confirming that there will be no congestion for 12 hours!
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Message 1966884 - Posted: 24 Nov 2018, 18:52:32 UTC

I went to buy some bolts in my local hardware shop.
Chap asked; "How long do you want them?"
I said "I was hoping to keep them."
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Message 1966885 - Posted: 24 Nov 2018, 18:53:34 UTC

I'm never having one of those foot-long subs again - I nearly choked on the periscope.
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Message 1966886 - Posted: 24 Nov 2018, 18:53:56 UTC

(Hehehehe - shall I continue?)
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Message 1966888 - Posted: 24 Nov 2018, 18:55:38 UTC

A prostitute told me i could have sex for 10 dollars as she didn't have a womb !!!
I asked how would we do it then ??... she said '' acwoss the woad against the waillings ''
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Message 1966889 - Posted: 24 Nov 2018, 18:56:03 UTC

I've started investing in stocks. Beef, chicken, and vegetable

One day I hope to be a bouillonaire...
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Message 1966950 - Posted: 25 Nov 2018, 4:45:53 UTC - in response to Message 1966886.  

(Hehehehe - shall I continue?)


Oh, yes please. As long as I can ration them so they don't start making my belly hurt from laughing then I want "more" :)

Tom
A proud member of the OFA (Old Farts Association)
"Over the hill? WHAT Hill? I don't REMEMBER any hill...." (from a bumper sticker I bought at a truck stop).
"If its Tourist Season why can't we shoot them?" (another bumper sticker)
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Message 1967150 - Posted: 25 Nov 2018, 23:29:20 UTC

My car broke down so I looked under the hood and saw a bat sitting on the engine.

The bat said "Hello. You're a handsome fellow and very nicely dressed too".

I could see the problem...

......... bat flattery
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Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
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Message 1967152 - Posted: 25 Nov 2018, 23:30:47 UTC

Plateaus......the highest form of flattery.
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Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
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Message 1967153 - Posted: 25 Nov 2018, 23:31:57 UTC

The International Hairdressing Awards are live on ABC at 8pm tomorrow night. Highlights will be shown after News at Ten.
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Message 1967154 - Posted: 25 Nov 2018, 23:32:40 UTC

People think I'm weird because I swallowed an Abacus.

It's what's inside that counts.
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Profile Michael Belanger, W1DGL
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Message 1967155 - Posted: 25 Nov 2018, 23:33:47 UTC

I bought a pair of spider silk trousers last week. They look great, but the flies keep getting stuck.
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Message boards : Cafe SETI : Puns & Limericks


 
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