Oh my, tis a book not for the faint hearted, my pulse has been racing ever since I read the opening line; "Stick it right up there, now and keep it there as long as possible"

How did I know they were talking about putting up a shelf.

I do hope Sydney doesn't get any funny ideas, I know he's partial to playing with his tools.

---

I know that beating egg whites poses no problem....I know from experience that a swift wrist action can make almost anything stand up stiffly.

Call me Ishmael!!!

---

Suite 21
Grand Hotel
Brighton
BR1 IR2

10th inst.

My dear colleagues, may I proffer many felicitations to your good selves, at the conclusion of a very pleasant weekend away upon the south coast of Blake's green and pleasant land. As the weather seemed so particularly clement it seemed fortuitous to take advantage of it. And going for a stroll in the nearby country lanes, you could see many couples on the verge.

But sadly I learn to my dismay that Mrs Miggins is having a modicum of trouble in affixing a storage item in place. I can take pleasure in informing her from personal experience, that the correct way, as in many things, is to screw it firmly against the wall.

I shall repair to London in good haste forthwith and show Mrs Miggins first hand how to do it properly. I will of course have my trusty toolkit with me containing a stripper, spanner, Pozidrive, and a brace.

Tootle Pip

Sidney J. Snodgrass

Late of her Majesty's 3rd Foot & Mouth
(Previously 2nd Rangoon Rifles)

---

Ah, Muriel Miggins - will she ever be mine

but no bib??????

---

Bob Smith
Member of Seti PIPPS (Pluto is a Planet Protest Society)
Somewhere in the (un)known Universe?

Oooo the naughty girl, what a nice pair of dimples ;-)

---

Bob Smith
Member of Seti PIPPS (Pluto is a Planet Protest Society)
Somewhere in the (un)known Universe?

Such a nice couple.
But why is Baldrick in it?

Sydney, my little buttercup, no need to rush, the shelf is now firmly in place, but keep your equipment handy, just in case.

Now as for me dallying, I've had no time, I've had a man in, examining my pipes,I've been hearing strange gurgling sounds from below for the past couple of days. Apparently my flue needs a good service.

---

I know that beating egg whites poses no problem....I know from experience that a swift wrist action can make almost anything stand up stiffly.

Sydney, my little buttercup, no need to rush, the shelf is now firmly in place, but keep your equipment handy, just in case.

Now as for me dallying, I've had no time, I've had a man in, examining my pipes,I've been hearing strange gurgling sounds from below for the past couple of days. Apparently my flue needs a good service.

I'm sure Sydney can give you expert help with that as well. After all, what is a rifle barrel but a specialized pipe? No doubt you are nearly as well acquainted with his rifle as he is, and he likewise has some familiarity with your flue.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

Gentlemans Club
Mayfair
London
WC2
11th Inst.

FAO David S Esq

My Dear Sir,

I trust you will excuse my forwardness, but I have occasion to remark that your observations upon the closeness of the relationship between my dear Muriel and I, tend to border upon the slightly impudent. I will have you know Sir that we are indeed discussing my future intended here, so I would be obliged if you would exercise a modicum of propriety in these matters.

I have shown Muriel my muzzle loader before and she was suitably impressed. But once primed to fire, bringing a muzzleloader out of a warm environment into the cold can dampen your powder. There are designated spots where all unfired front stuffers can be safely unloaded.

As to the Lady's flue, I am sure that you will appreciate that social nicety and mores, necessarily preclude me from going into details. But suffice it to say, that upon previous occasions, a quick de-thatch and brushing away the cobwebs, has had beneficial results in bringing said item back into a working condition.

Yours Faithfully,

Sidney J. Snodgrass

Late of her Majesty's 3rd Foot & Mouth
(Previously 4th Kuala Lumpur Light Artillery)

---

Ah, Muriel Miggins - will she ever be mine

I am concerned that in your cleaning of Mrs.Miggins flues and surrounding areas you are not taking proper note of the environmental hazards associated with disposing of the resulting waste materials. I trust that you will take note and comply with the appropriate legal requirements.

---

Bob Smith
Member of Seti PIPPS (Pluto is a Planet Protest Society)
Somewhere in the (un)known Universe?

Suite 17
Grand Hotel
King Edwards Parade
Eastbourne
East Sussex
BN21 4EQ

16th Inst.

My dear fellow compatriots,

I trust that I may have leave to present my most humble greetings to you all upon this Spring Bank holiday weekend. After some forethought and due deliberation, I decided to repare for a few days slightly further along England's southern coastline, along from my recent sojourn to Brighton.

The sea air is somewhat bracing as are a few pink gins in the hotel bar before luncheon, and a few tinctures before dinner. As a retired military man the Redoubt on Royal Parade is of particular interest of course, and quite rightly so.

I had hoped to entice Mrs Miggins with the suggestion of accompanying me, for a nibble on my eggs, and a stroke of her bunny. But sadly she had a visit from the HSE regarding certain waste materials that were not properly disposed of, and was therefore detained whilst her flue was carefully inspected.

I remain your most humble correspondent,

Sidney J. Snodgrass

Late of her Majesty's 3rd Foot & Mouth
(Previously 5th Kaipur Light Horse)

---

Ah, Muriel Miggins - will she ever be mine

Now my flue has been given the all clear, I feel invigorated and hope to resume my activities within a matter of days.

Now Sydney, the sea air might be bracing and the pink gins might put a spring in your step but I'm not going to kiss you on the cobbles, but you might get a peck on the cheek if you behave like a gentleman.

---

I know that beating egg whites poses no problem....I know from experience that a swift wrist action can make almost anything stand up stiffly.

Officers Mess
Pall Mall
London
UR1 IR2

23rd Inst

My dearest Muriel,

I am indeed most pleased to hear that your flue has been suitably attended to, and that you will be intending to resume your normal activities as we speak. It is also gladdening to learn that you now feel somewhat invigorated as well, a good blow through often does have an invigorating effect upon one.

I am somewhat distraught that I won't be getting a kiss upon the cobbles, but you were not so shy in the past if my memory serves me correctly. Many times at your previous Emporium you handed me a pair of your warm bloomers without so much as a blush, and got your baps out on the counter.

I have always been a complete gentleman my dearest love, as you may care to recall. I always asked your permission before I deposited my visiting card in your letter box.

My fondest felicitations,

Sidney J. Snodgrass

Late of her Majesty's 3rd Foot & Mouth
(Previously 2nd Gunga Din Packhorse)

---

Ah, Muriel Miggins - will she ever be mine

My dear Sir, how fortunate you were. All I ever got at Mrs.Miggins' previous emporium were cold sausage rolls, with ne'er a sniff of a warm bloomer, nor sight of a warm bap. Perchance my misfortune may have been down to the timing of my visitations. On the bright side, I did once perchance a glance upon one of her cream fancies, a truly wondrous sight to behold it was too.

---

Bob Smith
Member of Seti PIPPS (Pluto is a Planet Protest Society)
Somewhere in the (un)known Universe?