Modafinil....don't fail me now. LOL.

Meow.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Well...........
I'm thinkin' it's safe to say that I got my meds aced now.

I'm pretty bright and bouncy today. And smiling.
'Bout 99.5% of full Nyan Cat power!

20mg escitalopram and 200mg of modafinil.
Not TOO relaxed, but not going bouncing off the walls manic either.
As good a balance as I could hope for. Happy camper.

And I just checked my BP.......117/75. Just about perfect, especially for me, as I have a history of it being very high.

Unless something radically changes, I am THERE.

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeow!

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

OH NOOOOOOO.

Thanks, Mark, I've now got that tune echoing round my head, and I'm sure it'll be there for ages!!!


:)

---

Happy Crunching,

Graham

That's torn it - to try to stop Nyan Cat echoing round my head, I started to think of other songs, and quickly got to Mahna Mahna Do-Do-De- Dahdah, now that's stuck!!!

---

Happy Crunching,

Graham

That's torn it - to try to stop Nyan Cat echoing round my head, I started to think of other songs, and quickly got to Mahna Mahna Do-Do-De- Dahdah, now that's stuck!!!

Oh, man.
You are doomed!
There was another one that was going around a while back, but lucky me, I can't remember it right now.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

There's even the World of Warcraft version:-

https://youtu.be/iEWgs6YQR9A

Yeah, I guess I'm doomed :)

---

Happy Crunching,

Graham

There's even the World of Warcraft version:-

https://youtu.be/iEWgs6YQR9A

Yeah, I guess I'm doomed :)

Hmmm.....no, that wasn't it.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Oh, I remember now.
It was that Hampsterdance thingy/

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

The crazy frog ??

https://youtu.be/k85mRPqvMbE

---

Happy Crunching,

Graham

The crazy frog ??

https://youtu.be/k85mRPqvMbE

Nope. The one I was thinking of was that Hampsterdance song that I linked in my last post.
I think that had about the highest 'can't get the dang thing outta my head' rating.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

And how's this for a kick in the groin?
Just had a bit of an argument with Lori.
She's apparently not having a good day.
I called her to share how well I was doing today.

It went something like this after I told her I was doing just great..................

She says 'And what's next?'
What 'what'? There is no 'next'. I got the meds right. And the doctor gave me refills this time, so I should be good for a while.
Don't you have to see your doctor again?
Yeah, I have that checkup visit on the 15th.
And what is he going to do after that?
Nothing else as far as I know. He just wanted to see me again after I was on the new medications for a while.
Well, he HAS to do something else.
Like WHAT?
Refer you for counseling.
I don't need counseling. I had a chemical imbalance in my brain, and I'm on the right meds.
No, the fact that you are telling me you are all OK means you are NOT OK.

The old 'catch 22' thingy.....I think I'm alright, so I am not alright? Whoa boy. Needless to say, the conversation went downhill from there and then she hung up on me. However, in my new state of mind, I kept smiling throughout and didn't lose my temper with her. Further proof for me that the meds are indeed working. Otherwise it would have been good for at least a 10 minute shouting contest......LOL. She at one point said something about HER needing counseling when she was recovering from alcoholism. I said 'Well, I am not you'. She said 'You are EXACTLY like me....your just a f***ing addict.'

So, apparently the meds are doing me no good at all if I don't sit down in an encounter group or something........LOL.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

I'm actually trying to understand her reaction.
It's like, now that I am not drinking, she does not have that any more to hold over me.
So, she's got to find something else to poke at.
And she's pissed because I am not buying it for a moment.
Maybe she thinks I am getting off too easy because she had to go through treatment for a long time to kick the booze and I did not. So she thinks I have not suffered enough punishment or humiliation to be doing this well.

Either that, or she's still really pissed off because I went ahead and had my hair dyed black, which she did not approve of.
And she has not even seen it yet.

Oh, well.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Maybe she thinks I am getting off too easy because she had to go through treatment for a long time to kick the booze and I did not.

I think there might be some underlying truth to that. I'm not going to knock AA in general, because I think it's great for some people, but I've known a few in the program that are kind of closed-minded about how others go about their recovery.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Maybe she thinks I am getting off too easy because she had to go through treatment for a long time to kick the booze and I did not.

I think there might be some underlying truth to that. I'm not going to knock AA in general, because I think it's great for some people, but I've known a few in the program that are kind of closed-minded about how others go about their recovery.

They often say the hardest critic is a dried up drunk.
(Mind you, I am NOT calling Lori that.)

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Most of you know that I have always given Lori full credit and respect for doing what she did to become sober.
Because I knew her when she was a total basket case.

Which just makes it a bit more difficult to understand why she is not giving me the same credit and respect I gave her.
I'll get over it. In part, because I know her better than she thinks I do.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Well, it seems like everybody's gone to sleep here in the forums, and I suppose I should consider it too. Been a little light on sleep this weekend and I should try to catch up a little.
Back to work tomorrow, ready or not.
At least I am feeling better, so that should help make it a bit easier.
Have a great week.

Meow.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Well, it seems like everybody's gone to sleep here in the forums

No, I haven't.

Back to work tomorrow, ready or not.
At least I am feeling better, so that should help make it a bit easier.
Have a great week.

I hope you have a good week, too.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Well, it seems like everybody's gone to sleep here in the forums

No, I haven't.

Back to work tomorrow, ready or not.
At least I am feeling better, so that should help make it a bit easier.
Have a great week.

I hope you have a good week, too.

I think I shall. Therefore I shall.....I think.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

.. So she thinks I have not suffered enough punishment or humiliation to be doing this well.

Mark, You have been punished and been humiliated. Right here on the boards for years.
Ive been following your posts since you seeked help.
I think you are doing fantastic. I have never seen you so up beat and even, Cheer full.
Its a pleasure to read your posts again.
I like the new Mark.

---

[/quote]

Old James

No worries.
I talked to Lori late last night and she said she was really not that upset with me.
She said she is just concerned for my well being and may have expressed it the wrong way.
We are good.

Meow!

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster