But, odd though.

That was a GREAT cover! The most powerful performance and video of that song I have ever heard. wow.

I haven't been following your writing all over the message areas. But I think you have a POV that should continue to be here. I hope this will NOT be your "last thread".

Your kitties would miss you on here.

Tom

Reckon the kitties and I shall be hanging out here for some time yet................
God willing.

Meow.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Well..........
Meow meow meow on a beautiful day in kittyland.
Gonna be around 80f, sunshine beaming down on all my wonderful trees and other plants.
Put new rear brake drums and front brake rotors in Toothless yesterday. Braking nice and smooth now.
Then got all of my lawn mowed, front and back.

Day 100 since I last had a drink.
Day 84 since I started bupropion.
Day 25 since I started escitalopram.

I cut back the bupropion from 300 to 150mg. It did not seem to be doing much at all for me. So I will probably slowly try cutting it out altogether if there are no side effects from doing so.
The escitalopram does seem to be having 'some' effect in moderating and/or elevating my general mood. I'm at 10mg. Maximum therapeutic dose is 20mg, but that is not recommended for people over age 60 due to some moderation of heart rhythms. So, I would have to consult with my doctor if I felt I wanted to go there. Right now, she is allowing me to adjust my regimen as I deem appropriate based on how I feel.
And my BP has been running high this week, so I may have to consult with her about that. First, I will up my Losartan from 50mg to 100mg daily and see if that takes care of it.

It will take some weeks before I can tell where things stabilize.

These meds do not work overnight, you see. Wish they did.....LOL. But, even though progress has been very slow in coming, I can sense just enough of a change that I am not discouraged from staying the course.

So, meow for now.
Meow.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Wish you the best Mark.

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With each crime and every kindness we birth our future.

Wish you the best Mark.

+1

Steve

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Warning, addicted to SETI crunching!
Crunching as a member of GPU Users Group.
GPUUG Website

I can sense just enough of a change that I am not discouraged from staying the course.

Good to hear. :~)

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Wish you the best Mark.

+1

+2

Steve

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Good Job...

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...

Congratulations on sticking to it!!!
Nice to hear that your MD is working with you on finding the right combos of meds and/or doses to attempt to get things right!

ROAR!!!

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Day 100 since I last had a drink.
Day 84 since I started bupropion.
Day 25 since I started escitalopram.

Con-cat-tulations!!!

Thank you.

Mike, SciManStev, Gordon, Chris, Lynn, j mercer, Dr Who Fan, and Angela...........
As I have said before, sometimes just a few words of encouragement or recognition are as powerful as any medication on earth.

I am doing OK so far. Skipping the whiskey binges has not been as hard as I thought it might be at first. I cut it off before starting my meds to give them a chance to work because my research said they didn't play well together. So, I had a logical reason for doing so and that made the first step easy in my mind. And maybe the meds have had enough impact so far that I have not found myself longing for another go at it.
I won't say that I have not considered tipping a few, and I won't say that I never shall again. But for now, I am happy enough to stay the course, work with the meds, and see what the best possible outcome is that they can provide.
It may not live up to my hopes or expectations, but it can take literally months for antidepressants to have their full effect.
The side effects have been livable. My sleep patterns have finally settled down. I can fall asleep now and get some proper rest. I had a bad rash break out on one side of my head, and then the other. At one point when it started creeping onto my forehead I thought I might have to quit the meds. But, it suddenly started receding, and has now settled down and healed. Right now I am finding myself clenching my jaw a lot and having to concentrate on relaxing the muscles. Hopefully that works itself out as the other side effects have. Some amount of tremors in my hands, but nothing severe enough that it affects what I can or cannot do. And after almost passing out at work a few weeks into the meds due to my BP going way too low, right now my BP is running rather high, so I doubled up on my BP med and am monitoring it closely. If it does not moderate soon, I have that issue to consult with the doctor on.

So, as you can see, this has not been as simple as tossing back a couple of meds and going my merry way. I have had some struggles. And it is not over yet.

One day at a time, meowing.

Meow.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

I live in day-tight compartments.

If that is not good enough.

One hour at a time.

If that is not good enough.

One minute at a time.

If that is not good enough.

One second at a time.

I can do that... and have.

8^)

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...

Never simple, for sure.
I kicked a 45-year 3-pack a day smoking habit cold turkey several years ago, and each day it is still on my mind.
But I understand that a relapse would be bad, and soldier on.
And I do make a point of reminding myself daily of the benefits so far, and think of them as nice things I've done for myself.

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... 1/2 a day without a fag and the they are a total wreck!!

That was me. Of course, when I started smoking, cigs were $0.25 per 20 pack, and there was a vending machine every 10 feet, or so it seemed. Dunno what they are here now, $6-7 per pack, I suppose, though I've heard that in places like LA and NYC local taxes have gotten them over $10 a pack. All for our own good of course, ...

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I quit smoking on21st April 2009 cold turkey after 35years. My girlfriend and I used the Alan Carrs "Easy way to stop smoking" DVD. I haven't smoked since but I heard the X is back on em.

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Well, the smoking thingy is also on my 'to do' list.
But I think it would be a bit much for me to try to tackle it in the midst of working through what I currently have on my plate.
I have been wanting to ditch that habit for many years already, but have never been strong enough to do it.
Maybe that day is coming for me.

Meow.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Well, the smoking thingy is also on my 'to do' list.
But I think it would be a bit much for me to try to tackle it in the midst of working through what I currently have on my plate.
Meow.

Yeah, one thing at a time, for sure. For me, the cigs were far more of a problem than alcohol is, though I do plan to resume abstinence there at some point. All a matter of priorities ...
Super happy for the progress you're making and maintaining there!

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I have been wanting to ditch that habit for many years already, but have never been strong enough to do it.

I wasn't strong enough either on my own... took me three attempts before I shook that monkey, and I needed some assistance:



Nothing wrong with assistance. This is also the only brand that works; accept no substitutes. Most health insurance plans will pay part or all of the cost (it allays the much greater costs of not quitting down the road.) Been about ten years now and no relapses. My better half and I quit together so we had each other for support... or to get on each other's nerves. :^)

I'm very happy with your progress, and your sticking with it! It's never too late to make a positive change like this and you will be immensely happier for it (such as being able actually enjoy your retirement, the time of life meant for pure enjoyment!)

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What I think helps is to have a good enough reason to WANT to give up, ... Find a good enough reason Mark and you're half way there!

For me, it was waking up in the morning with my lungs so full of crud I couldn't take a deep breath until I spent 10 minutes coughing the crap out. Felt like I was drowning. Also, walking half a mile and gasping for breath, with vastly elevated heart rate, where now I can walk 4-5 miles and barely elevate the pulse rate, let alone be sucking air. Downside, I put a helluva lot of weight on, and that's the new issue to address. But even 60 lbs heavier (I can taste food now, and it tastes pretty good!) I still feel 1000% better. Never had noticed how much it dragged me down.

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Find a good enough reason Mark and you're half way there!

Oh, there are plenty of reasons..................
$250.00 a month, my general health and well being, the kitties, Lori, etc., etc., etc..

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

You can come up with all the laundry lists of reasons but, the bottom line is: Until you decide yourself, for yourself, you have had enough, like the drinking, you are fooling yourself and will relapse.

Also known as '13th Stepping your self'.

You can't love any one else until you love yourself.
You can't forgive any one else until you forgive yourself.
You can't take care of any one else until you take care of yourself.

You can do it...

Been there... doing that...

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...