In the UK if you call 112 you will access the emergency services in the same way as calling 999. 112 will work across Europe but not in every country world-wide.
You can call 111 when you need medical help fast but it’s not a 999 emergency. When you phone 111 your call is handled by a health adviser who can advise on what treatment you need and how to access it.
101 is for non-emergency calls to your local police force. You can use this number to report incidents to your local police force that don’t require an emergency response.

What?

In the UK if you call 112 you will access the emergency services in the same way as calling 999. 112 will work across Europe but not in every country world-wide.

You can call 111 when you need medical help fast but it’s not a 999 emergency. When you phone 111 your call is handled by a health adviser who can advise on what treatment you need and how to access it.

101 is for non-emergency calls to your local police force. You can use this number to report incidents to your local police force that don’t require an emergency response.

Bernie was perfectly correct in calling 999 in that specific incidence.

The 999 number was designed to cater for the original rotary dial 10PPS telephones to allow people to easily dial for emergency help in a smoke filled room or in the dark when they could not see the phone, and had to do it by feel. People of an older generation, who are most likely to need emergency help, will still use 999 by instinct or necessity, which is universally recommended.

999?
It's better to call 112.
11 February (11/2) is the European 112 Day.
At this occasion, events take place to promote the existence and the appropriate use of the EU emergency number.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/112_(emergency_telephone_number)

Something I found out, they have "first responders" here, a paramedic fireman from the local station turned up and checked dad over, giving him oxygen, which was a big help as dads breathing got better straight away.

We have that here in South London. A 999 call will send out the first responder from the same ambulance station, usually in an estate car with the same equipment that an ambulance has. The main ambulance will follow a few minutes later with further equipment. Those few minutes have been shown to save lives.

You had no option but to call the ambulance and you did entirely the right thing. Perhaps a full hospital assessment at this time might be a useful thing.

+1

What a way to wake up. Glad it wasn't a tragic scene. Hope the best for you and your dad. May he be home soon.

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At 4.30 am I was woken by my dad who was having trouble breathing.

He said he had no pain but his breaths sounded like a death rattle.

He told me not to call an ambulance, but you can hardly stand there and watch your father in obvious distress.

Something I found out, they have "first responders" here, a paramedic fireman from the local station turned up and checked dad over, giving him oxygen, which was a big help as dads breathing got better straight away.

Then the ambulance arrived and took him to St Marys which is a 20 minute drive away.

Spent 5 hours in A&E while he had all the tests and medication to stabilise him. He has been admitted and I have quickly popped back to shower, change and have something to eat.

All signs are that it was another heart attack, but he was resting OK when I left, the next door neighbour will go into to see him this afternoon.

A draining morning!!

Fixa och Molly:)
Two dogs from the short-term living where my GF now stays.
They even make the patients 80+ smile despite suffering from dementia.

Sigh...
Every time nurses are doing re-bandages on my GF they ALWAYS forget to bring what they need to do the re-bandage!
No wonder why health costs are so expensive!
It takes more than one hour to do it.
I can do it in less in ten minutes.

And of course.
When I talking over the phone with her she is ALWAYS abrupted!!!!!
Happened just right now!!!!!!

Does caring for other include colleagues?

A story about how difficult it may be to get help when you really need one.

My GF Annelie lived and worked for Nitro Nobel in the Manila Philippines, and it happened an accident.
They had a demonstration in a mine, but a stupid Swede took off his helmet too early to light a cigarette.
The blast went off and he was hit in the head with stones.

He was taken to a hospital of course, but it turned out he had a very unusual blood group.
Annelie took on the task of searching for new blood.

In Manila, the United States has a military base called Clark Air Base.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clark_Air_Base
She contacted them MANY times because she knew they have blood from many blood groups.
They said that blood is only given to US soldiers!
After many calls and many tears, they finally gave in.
They sent a helicopter with the blood but unfortunately ...

Too late!

The people who have said, "well at least you got your life back" are actually old friends who know the background, and that's what makes their comments so hard to take.

I can completely understand that. But people are different aren't they. Some will care for an elderly parent because they see it as their "duty" to do so. Some will care because they genuinely want to, and some will care under duress because nobody else will. And all flavours in between. Dad said to me after mum passed on that he wouldn't have had it any other way, and that he had willingly accepted the burden that life gave him. I think he didn't see it as getting his old life back, as simply mum wasn't there any more, which was his life. What he did accept was coming to terms with a new life which was different to the old one, including memories of the past.

Some people are lucky, they can care for their parents. Some people can't.

If your parents had you and they were young, by the time they need care you will be well advanced in your own life and have resources.

If your parents had you later, you will need to stay in the workforce, because you can't take a few years off and ever expect to then have enough for your own retirement.

Unfortunately, life isn't fair.

@Gordon, those people making comments about getting your life back, are they people who you only told stories about the bad days and situations? Never told them about the good days and the joy? Could they have gotten the impression that it was a very tiresome chore you really didn't want and are simply telling you what they thought you wanted to hear?

The people who have said, "well at least you got your life back" are actually old friends who know the background, and that's what makes their comments so hard to take. I get the impression they are speaking for themselves and ignoring my reality, telling me what they want to hear because it makes them feel better about their reality.

Some people are lucky, they can care for their parents. Some people can't.

Many people can care for their parents, but they choose not to.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Some people are lucky, they can care for their parents. Some people can't.

If your parents had you and they were young, by the time they need care you will be well advanced in your own life and have resources.

If your parents had you later, you will need to stay in the workforce, because you can't take a few years off and ever expect to then have enough for your own retirement.

Unfortunately, life isn't fair.

@Gordon, those people making comments about getting your life back, are they people who you only told stories about the bad days and situations? Never told them about the good days and the joy? Could they have gotten the impression that it was a very tiresome chore you really didn't want and are simply telling you what they thought you wanted to hear?

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You reminded me of a term used in the prison business.
I don't care to know exactly how many seniors have been "warehoused" in old folks homes. I am happy not all people are treated this way.

Well, I don't like thinking about it, either. I've had friends tell me I should volunteer my time in those places, but I just can't. It's too depressing for me.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

You reminded me of a term used in the prison business.
I don't care to know exactly how many seniors have been "warehoused" in old folks homes. I am happy not all people are treated this way.

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I think in some ways it was good that I never married or had kids because my mother's illness would have more than likely have caused arguments about care. As the only child and living relative, I was the sole decision maker, and glad because there was no stress involving other people. I get irritated thinking about how so many parents get pushed into nursing homes like pieces of inventory. I just never could have done that. It would have killed me.

Even though everyone tells me I'm unfair to myself thinking this way, I still feel bad about moving out after I graduated from college(University of Louisville), and establishing some independence. My mother was alone, and so was I, just in different ways, and no good really came from my time to myself. I didn't commit any crimes or anything, but I shortchanged my quality time with my parent.

As often as you can, tell the people you love that you do love them and hug them and kiss them. You will never be sorry about that.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

I know what you mean about how precious those moments are when a child pops home to help bear some of the weight that caring for a loved one inevitably deposits on your shoulders, Chris. I'm glad you were able to do that for your dad, and your mum :)

Towards the end at home, the evening carer to get her washed and into bed would come for 45 minutes at 7pm. Dad and I would "escape" in his words, down to the local pub. We had just enough time for a quick pint and a game of pool ( he usually beat me 2-1 on average) before we had to go back in harness. In his own words those Friday nights were a life saver to him. And having me there until the Sunday afternoon also helped a lot. Mum was aware that I was there, but not sort of totally if you can understand that.

Very difficult times, and I felt so guilty leaving him Sunday afternoon to go home. My brother had 3 children and a business to run, it wasn't easy for him to play the part that he would have wanted to do.

But yes I can completely understand that elderly people do in certain ways regress (right word?) back to childhood, so that those who were blessed with children, have an extra edge to their caring abilities portfolio.

Good post Annie, thank you :-))

I know I've often expressed some trepidation about my other half coming out of hospital and whether I will be able to meet the additional care needs that will come home with him.

We have a saying here.
"Borta bra men hemma bäst" (literally: away (is) fine but home (is) best)
Meaning "There's no place like home" :)

Cheers and take care.

I think in some ways, by having had children, it might perhaps be a bit easier to muddle along backwards with an elderly relative - you know - along those milestone charts infants are expected to meet as they grow older, yet have no idea about whilst they're doing it. It doesn't mean as your parent's "parent" you are necessarily any more able to predict the next step down you'll be problem-solving as your journey with them progresses, but you do have a resource of experience to draw from that might help as they do. Obviously - they're not likely to prove to you that there are 67 ways to descend a slide without doing so the way you expected *boggle eyes at planet* but it could explain how they might have got wedged between the wall and the toilet in the second you took your eyes off them.

I know what you mean about how precious those moments are when a child pops home to help bear some of the weight that caring for a loved one inevitably deposits on your shoulders, Chris. I'm glad you were able to do that for your dad, and your mum :) With the world as it is now, the ease with which we can travel great distances and relocate ourselves to far flung outreaches of the planet, building lives and commitments far removed from those who brought us up, can seriously hamper us from doing even a little of what we know we would if we could.

Bernie and Gordon have been, and are, an enormous inspiration to me :) and Janne too :) I know I've often expressed some trepidation about my other half coming out of hospital and whether I will be able to meet the additional care needs that will come home with him. Annelie's illness is one of those life-changing ones. I'm glad she has someone to lean on as they both set out on the rest of their lives together, with Tosca too, of course :)

Now - as promised:

How to stop being thumped by your mum every time she sees you :)
1: Have an amazing daughter who, via social media, organises a group of her friends (some going back as far as primary school) to pop by in groups of twos and threes over the course of a few weeks, to give you big hugs and express enormous delight at seeing you, even if you can't remember their names. :)

2. Have your son, without your knowledge (and who knows his granny is almost pathological in her hatred of the colour black) buy a few plain tee-shirts and some fabric paint and write HUG HERE on them in large, pretty-coloured letters :) and wear them every day.

3. Have a bit of a cry over how wonderful your big little ones are :) and how fortunate you are to have them in your life :) wherever they are in the world, then enjoy the results of their efforts.

Not entirely foolproof, but with patience and a couple of wary flinches - success.!! :)

I think Bernie was quite right to point out the petty bickering.

As he says it is difficult for anyone to understand what it is REALLY like to care for someone at home 24/7. Annie knows that, Bernie knows that, and my old dad knew that with my mum. For two years he cared for her bedridden at home after the stroke. I used to drive the 300 mile return journey once a fortnight to stay for the weekend so I saw it first hand regularly.

There are three levels of care, on your own, with visiting healthcare support, and visiting someone in hospital or a care home. I can quite understand people fighting until the last to keep the care at home, because the alternatives can be grim. Annie has already outlined what it can be like upon arrival at hospital, due to funding cuts and lack of staff.

When I was in Round Table we visited a Geriatric ward one Christmas with little gift parcels of fruit, chocolate, biscuits etc with guidance from the nurses who should not have certain things. You needed a strong constitution, I am sure things have improved since the early 1980's.

Residential care homes sometimes fall short of own home care standards, as effectively they are run to a budget as a business. I can fully understand the pressures that Bernie and Annie and others are under, been there and seen it in my own family. Bernie finds solace in a half day every so often taking wildlife photos as his temporary respite leave, Annie has her own means, Dad was always grateful for the extra help at the weekends to take the edge of it for him.

If people find expressing their feelings and their ways of coping here, I think that is a good thing, and therapeutic, and tips like Bernies CCTV cameras are very useful for others.