Just got a call from my GF who has been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks.
Third surgery is underway!

It has been a difficult week, not for my dad, but for my sister and I having to come to terms with the fact that my dad has dementia.

I have looked up the signs of dementia and my dad has 4 of the main 5, the only one he seems to be missing is the mood swings.

When I was first here I just put it down to old age and failing memory, but it is definitely more than that, and the knowledge that he will get worse is hard for us to get used to.

I believe I have mentioned before that my sister lives in Hanover PA so is not able to be here, but we are in constant contact.

I have now got the form so I can be added to his Post Office account so I will be able to "legally" withdraw his pension if he cannot.

The PIR lights work well, the one plugged into the mains is brilliant (pun intended) it lights up the living room as soon as he steps in. So no more nocturnal perambulations in total darkness.

I have also brought as personal alarm, he has a pendant with a button, I have the small receiver unit so he can alert me, hopefully I can convince him to have it with him, trouble is he forgets new things straight away.

I have also fitted a Wi-Fi webcam in the living room so I can keep an eye on him from my computer, iPad or iPhone. If I am out I just need to find Wi-Fi and I can check, if there was a problem I can then phone the neighbours, or even an ambulance (he has a front door key in a combination safe near the door).

I don't think I can do much more, just be here.

My old dad lived on his own unless my brother or I went down for a few days, so we had an emergency help phone put in at his bungalow., with a pendant around the neck, with a button to push. The bugger wouldn't wear it! At 95 he tripped up in the back garden, winded himself and couldn't get up for 20 minutes. When he told us the air was blue I can tell you. What he did do was put it on his bedside cabinet at night in case something happened in bed.

He was also supposed to test the system once a month to make sure it still worked but he never did, so I used to do it when I went down. If the call centre don't get a reply on the two way loudspeakerupon an alarm being activated that's when the emergency services are sent round.

Presumably Bernie's dad got undressed to go to bed in the first place so being in the lounge and dressed at 3am and fallen over is a bit of a mystery. I think the PIR lights are an essential interim safety measure, and perhaps leave a low wattage side light on in the lounge as well. But Bernie does on occasions pop back to South London for a brief visit, but after this will he feel safe doing that now?

It seems to me as an outside observer, that the time is rapidly coming that dad needs to go into professional care. I know that out of loyalty that Bernie will hang on until the last possible minute, but there will have to be a meeting at some point with his sister and the medical advisors if these situations carry on.

But I am also glad that no harm came to his dad on this occasion.

Glad to see that your Dad didn't come to any harm during his nocturnal perambulations.

The PIRs look to be a great idea, I wish I'd though of them when my Dad was doing his nocturnal perambulations as they would have saved Mum a good few nights of worry,

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Bob Smith
Member of Seti PIPPS (Pluto is a Planet Protest Society)
Somewhere in the (un)known Universe?

I think things here are about to get a lot more difficult.

I was woken around 3 am to a noise, couldn't tell what it was or where from, after a couple of minutes I heard a voice.

Not being at my best at 3 am it took a couple of minutes for me to get my head in order. I got up to investigate and as I opened my bedroom door I could hear the voice was my dad's but not coming from his bedroom, but the living room.

The living room was in total darkness, when I switched on the light it took me a second or two to locate him, he had fallen behind the TV stand and was wedged between it and a desk.

Whilst he may look frail, he is still quite heavy, and was totally unable to help as I lifted him off the floor and got him to his chair.

He was fully dressed, but had no idea why he was in the living room at 3 am. He does carry a torch, but had left it by his chair, so had no light!!

I realised a lot of things then. I wondered why he used a torch, it's simply because he cannot remember where the light switches are, he has a large clock he carries from the bedroom to living room each day, but can no longer see it clearly. He also doesn't tell me any of this!

As my sister said if I hadn't been here he would have been there for many hours, maybe too many!

He had one of those emergency alarms that has a pendant or wrist band, but wouldn't wear either, in case he set it off by accident. As he was paying £25 a month for it I told him not to worry about that. The main unit had two way communication via a loudspeaker, but I could never get him to carry the button. To be fair now he would not remember anyway.

So as an interim measure I have ordered 3 PIR movement sensor lights that I can position to try and cover the hallway and living room areas, so that it will be lit when necessary.

Dad seems OK now though was obviously shaken up a bit. I have to admit it was one of those situations where you react first and think afterwards, I feel a bit drained now.

Gordon, wishing you peace as you mourn the loss of your mother.

Angela & Eric

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To my GF.
The Fairytale Land
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eY4a2m2VP1c#t=1m05s
There is somewhere a country beyond the wide sea
Where waves wash on shores of happiness
Where beautiful flowers always blossom
Over worries of tomorrow, that can be forgotten

An unusual take on Satumaa (and perhaps one more likely to be known outside of Finland) appears on a Frank Zappa live album from a Helsinki concert in 1974. Requested at short notice, the band plays the song from sheet music with the (non-Finnish-speaking) vocalist Napoleon Murphy Brock trying his best to read the Finnish lyrics.[2][3] Dweezil Zappa and his ensemble Zappa plays Zappa played a part of the song on their 6 June 2009 and 29 November 2013 concerts at the same venue.

Gordon, I'm so sorry to hear that. Please take comfort in knowing you brought joy to her final years. Again I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Old James

My sincere condolences to you Gordon.

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Member of the People Encouraging Niceness In Society club.

Hi Julie, good to see you. Annie is off air at present but I will pass on your kind regards.

Nice thread Annie! Big hug to you :) xxx

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

Gordon, I've seen a lot of people over the years in your spot, for some it has meant a spiraling downer, don't let that be your end buddy. ;-)

Myself, I lost my parents many decades ago and that left me making my own way in life on my own for decades longer without their input, but I think that they would be proud with what I've done in my life so far (though I still do wish that they could've seen their grand and great grand kids).

May peace and joy be with you mate in the future.

Cheers.

Death is still the most unavoidable thing in life. That said, it's never easy to deal with it.

I looked up to my mother, and always thought she was stronger than me even when her body wasn't.

Thanks to you all.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Very sorry Gordon.
My condolences to you and your family.

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With each crime and every kindness we birth our future.

I am so sorry to hear that Gordon, my sincere condolences to you.

My Dear friend Gordon,



Sincerely your friend,
Byron

God bless, Gordon. May she now have the peace she deserves.

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TimeLord04
Have TARDIS, will travel...
Come along K-9!
Join Calm Chaos

I'm so very sorry for the loss of you Mother.
My Condolences to you Gordon, and immediate family.

Sincerely,
Lynn

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My mother passed quietly away in her sleep at home here with me, this evening.

Our thoughts are with you.
R.I.P. Gordon's Mother

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