intergalactic quotes 2

Message boards : Cafe SETI : intergalactic quotes 2
Message board moderation

To post messages, you must log in.

Previous · 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · Next

AuthorMessage
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1874244 - Posted: 21 Jun 2017, 11:41:01 UTC

Kim: Wait a second. If I sent a message from the future and changed the past, then that future would no longer exist, right? So... <hmm> how could I have sent the message in the first place? Am I making any sense?

Janeway: My advice in making sense of temporal paradoxes is simple: don't even try.
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1874244 · Report as offensive
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1874504 - Posted: 22 Jun 2017, 21:10:44 UTC

Alices 118 and 322: [entering] You desire something, Lord?

Chekov: Oh, yes, uh, thank you. [They pour him a drink.] You're Alice, uh...

All: 118.

Chekov: And you're Alice, uh...

All: 322.

Chekov: Oh well, it doesn't make much difference. You're both lovely.

Alices: Thank you, my lord.

Alice 118: You desire something else, Lord?

Chekov: [looks at 118, then 322] <sigh> What a shame you're not real.

Alice 322: We are real, my lord.

Chekov: Oh, I mean real girls.

Alice 118: We are programmed to function as human females, Lord.

Chekov: You are?

Alices: Yes, my lord.

Chekov: Harry Mudd programmed you?

Alices: Yes, my lord.

Chekov: That unprincipled, evil-minded, lecherous kulak Harry Mudd programmed you?

Alices: Yes, my lord.

Chekov: This place is even better than Leningrad.
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1874504 · Report as offensive
Profile zoom3+1=4
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 30 Nov 03
Posts: 62610
Credit: 51,788,934
RAC: 22,395
United States
Message 1874532 - Posted: 22 Jun 2017, 22:22:13 UTC

From: I, Mudd
[trying to confuse an android]

Spock: Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in a meadow. Logic is a wreath of
pretty flowers which smell BAD. Are you sure your circuits are registering correctly?
Your ears are green.
My Amazon Wishlist
The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, One of America's First HST's
ID: 1874532 · Report as offensive
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1874554 - Posted: 23 Jun 2017, 0:23:12 UTC

I hate prototypes. - O'Brien
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1874554 · Report as offensive
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1874557 - Posted: 23 Jun 2017, 0:38:08 UTC

Bashir: You're positively glowing.

Kira: [hand on her large pregnant belly] Ho-o, really.

Bashir: I think so. But then I suppose my opinion doesn't really count.

Kira: Oh it counts. But don't forget, this is still your fault.

Bashir: MY fault?


Pop quiz: why is this funny?
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1874557 · Report as offensive
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1874937 - Posted: 25 Jun 2017, 3:29:35 UTC

Muniz: I thought maybe you just stopped to catch your breath.

O'Brien: Me, out of breath? [chuckles] I was climbing mountains in Ireland before you were born.

Muniz: You mean hills, don't you? They have gently sloping hills in Ireland. No mountains. But what do I know? After all, you're the mountain man. An old mountain man.



Pop quiz q2: Same as q1: why is this funny?
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1874937 · Report as offensive
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1877046 - Posted: 6 Jul 2017, 3:28:09 UTC

[McCoy enters the bridge and starts talking to Kirk, which continues in the background]

Dax: I know him.

Sisko: [looks that way] Must be McCoy, the ship's doctor.

Dax: McCoy... McCoy...

McCoy: Well the nearest thing I can figure out is that they're born pregnant. Which seems to be quite a time saver.

Dax: Leonard McCoy. [smiles] I met him when he was a student at Old Miss.

Sisko: Who met him, Curzon?

Dax: No. My host at the time was Emony. She was on Earth judging a gymnastics competition. [beat] I had a feeling he'd become a doctor. [Sisko looks at her] He had the hands of a surgeon. [raises her eyebrows] [Sisko looks back at his instrument panel in steps as her meaning sinks in] [Dax smiles again, bigger]
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1877046 · Report as offensive
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1877050 - Posted: 6 Jul 2017, 3:39:39 UTC

O'Brien: Looks good on you, sir.

Sisko: Thank you, Ensign.

Bashir: Wait a minute. Aren't you two wearing the wrong color?

O'Brien: Don't you know anything about this period in time?

Bashir: I'm a doctor, not an historian.

Sisko: In the old days, Operations officer wore red. Command officers wore gold.

Dax: [off camera] And women wore less. [cut to her; she puts a hand to her beehive hairdo and spins for them to see her short skirt and black hose]

Bashir: I think I'm going to like history.
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1877050 · Report as offensive
Profile zoom3+1=4
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 30 Nov 03
Posts: 62610
Credit: 51,788,934
RAC: 22,395
United States
Message 1877068 - Posted: 6 Jul 2017, 5:33:16 UTC

ID: 1877068 · Report as offensive
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1877071 - Posted: 6 Jul 2017, 5:43:50 UTC - in response to Message 1877068.  


Or the one.
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1877071 · Report as offensive
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1877198 - Posted: 7 Jul 2017, 1:25:08 UTC

There is an ancient Klingon proverb that says: You cannot loosen a man's tongue with root beer. - Worf
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1877198 · Report as offensive
Profile Picobyte
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 22 Jul 99
Posts: 19
Credit: 1,243,710
RAC: 180
Netherlands
Message 1886691 - Posted: 28 Aug 2017, 22:27:40 UTC

It's live Jim!,but not as we know it!
ID: 1886691 · Report as offensive
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1887166 - Posted: 31 Aug 2017, 22:24:55 UTC

Kirk: Gentlemen, this computer has an auditory sensor. It can, in effect, hear sounds. By installing a booster, we can increase that capability on the order of one to the fourth power.


One to the fourth power? One to any power you can name is still one.
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1887166 · Report as offensive
Profile zoom3+1=4
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 30 Nov 03
Posts: 62610
Credit: 51,788,934
RAC: 22,395
United States
Message 1887178 - Posted: 31 Aug 2017, 23:30:04 UTC

Kirk: Kirk to Enterprise.

Spock: Spock here.

Kirk: Captain Spock, damage report.

Spock: Admiral, if we go "by the book". like Lieutenant Saavik, hours could seem like days.

Kirk: I read you captain. Let's have it.

Spock: The situation is grave, Admiral. We won't have main power for six "days". Auxiliary power has temporarily failed. Restoration may be possible, in two "days". By the book, Admiral.

Kirk: Meaning you can't even beam us back?

Spock: Not at present.

Kirk: Captain Spock, if you don't hear from us within one hour, your orders are to restore what power you can, take the Enterprise to the nearest star base, and alert Starfleet Command as soon as you're out of jamming range.

Commander Nyota Uhura: Sir, we won't leave you behind!

Kirk:Uhura, if you don't hear from us, there won't be anybody behind. Kirk out.
My Amazon Wishlist
The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, One of America's First HST's
ID: 1887178 · Report as offensive
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1890850 - Posted: 20 Sep 2017, 4:21:29 UTC

Janeway: Now, when you're on the holodeck with the captain, there are two rules you have to follow.
Doctor: I understand.
Janeway: First, leave your rank at the door.
Doctor: Not a problem. The second?
Janeway: No opera.
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1890850 · Report as offensive
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1901887 - Posted: 19 Nov 2017, 17:29:07 UTC

Worf: You must not drink the tea. It is deadly to Humans.

Pulaski: And none too good for Klingons.

Worf: It is a test of bravery, of one's ability to look at mortality. It is also a reminder that death is an experience best shared. Like the tea.

Pulaski: Worf! You're a romantic.

Worf: It is among the Klingons that love poetry achieves its fullest flower.

Pulaski: Hold that thought. [leaves, returns with a hypospray, injects her own arm] Antidote. [puts down the hypo, picks up the cup of tea] If we're going to share, let's share. [they both drink] Now, quote me a little of that poetry.
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1901887 · Report as offensive
Profile zoom3+1=4
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 30 Nov 03
Posts: 62610
Credit: 51,788,934
RAC: 22,395
United States
Message 1901915 - Posted: 19 Nov 2017, 19:42:32 UTC

"Attention micronians(Humans), this is Khyron the Destroyer.
I want to wish the people of Earth a Merry Christmas, and I send you a special greeting from Santa Claus: May all your foolish holidays be as bright as this one."

BOOOOOM!!!

Khyron is also known as "Khyron the Backstabber", why?

He has been known to shoot members of His own troops who don't obey His orders to the letter, He did so on Mars, in Bye Bye Mars...

Oh and "Micronians" is a Zentraedi slur against Humans...
My Amazon Wishlist
The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, One of America's First HST's
ID: 1901915 · Report as offensive
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1908085 - Posted: 20 Dec 2017, 4:11:56 UTC

All I ask is a tall ship... and a load of contraband to fill her with. -- Quark, Little Green Men
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1908085 · Report as offensive
Profile zoom3+1=4
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 30 Nov 03
Posts: 62610
Credit: 51,788,934
RAC: 22,395
United States
Message 1908104 - Posted: 20 Dec 2017, 5:45:44 UTC

There was one planet off in the seventh dimension that got used as a ball in a game of Intergalactic bar billiards.

Got potted straight into a black hole.

Douglas Adams
My Amazon Wishlist
The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, One of America's First HST's
ID: 1908104 · Report as offensive
David S
Volunteer tester
Avatar

Send message
Joined: 4 Oct 99
Posts: 18352
Credit: 26,808,968
RAC: 5,158
United States
Message 1908125 - Posted: 20 Dec 2017, 10:36:31 UTC

Only scored 30 points, too.
David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

ID: 1908125 · Report as offensive
Previous · 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · Next

Message boards : Cafe SETI : intergalactic quotes 2


 
©2019 University of California
 
SETI@home and Astropulse are funded by grants from the National Science Foundation, NASA, and donations from SETI@home volunteers. AstroPulse is funded in part by the NSF through grant AST-0307956.