I ain't played for anybody in years...............

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Message 1704793 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 4:06:13 UTC

Hiya, everybody.
The kitties are loose again..............

Meow.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704795 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 4:08:31 UTC

Welcome home.
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Message 1704796 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 4:12:08 UTC - in response to Message 1704795.  

Welcome home.

Thank you, Angela.
This IS my home..........and I miss it dearly when I must travel in other circles.

Meow.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704799 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 4:22:31 UTC

And the kittyman has been busy in his 'off time'.
Got a new SSD in the daily driver, and a RAM upgrade. Have an faster processor on order.
Got 3 donated 980s online and crunching fast and hard.
Waiting for the next AP run to see what they can really do.

Meow, as they say.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704803 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 4:29:10 UTC

I'm not bad, I just post that way.............
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704809 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 4:40:02 UTC

I shall repost this here for the benefit of all those who do not visit the 'Seti is Down Cafe'.

I know some of you have heard this before, some of you have not.
I was rather candid that night, and before some of you judge me just a bit too harshly, please read and consider.

I am not hiding much in this post........


"I do hope you understand me, at least some of the time.
Life is not easy for a habitual alcoholic for some 40 years.
Yes, I admit it, and yes, it is true.

I have learned to live with the monkey on my back. Many times it has pulled me down. But it is my burden to bear, and my only real sorrow comes when it has caused me to bring sadness to others. Which it has done often enough. After 40 years of life this way, I have learned to control it except here on the forums, where I find release at the expense of others, it seems.

I don't drive drunk. I don't go to work drunk. If I overstay my party time, I call in to work and take a day off. I won't and don't put into doubt either my job or the work I do every day. It is a very important task I do each and every day at the fire truck factory, and I take it very seriously.

Please, no dire warnings about my future. I have it in check. Fact is, as I have grown older, things are more stable now than ever, my problem notwithstanding. At the very least, I have learned my limitations and their consequences if I do not control where I go just a bit.

Lori loves me. My kitties love me. Some on Seti still do. I also realize that I have lost many friends there due to my behavior.

My life is, whether I present it so at times or not, rather fine. After all, I have CATS. And they mean more to me than just an avatar on Seti. My cats are my life force, you see. And that is not an overstatement.

And when my stupid little brain chemicals all get lined up at times, I can see that very very clearly. And then at times, I cannot....the clouds come in and darkness sets in....

I have a problem unrelated to my alcoholism regarding brain chemical imbalances and they toss me WAY off kilter once in a while....very hard when you mix everything together.
Emotional stability is not my strong suit...to say the least...LOL.

In closing, no matter where I am today, I may be in a better or perhaps worse place tomorrow, emotionally speaking.
But...........there is always an upside coming, not matter how dark the hour at hand might seem.

I love you all so very much, and hope that you love me back as well.
When I get difficult to understand, I hope that you shall remember the things I have said here tonight. And afford me, once again, the understanding that only true friends can offer.

Meow for now.

Best wishes and kitty kisses to you all,

Mark"



I know I can not be all things to all people, and at times not much of anything to any.
But, I know in my inner soul, that I am a good person, and strive each day to get up on the right side of the bed and carry on.

If I leave no other legacay than this, it suits me just fine.

When I leave this world or this project, I just hope the least that could be said of me is.............

'Damn, that dude could CRUNCH.'

And so I can, and so I shall.

Big meow.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704816 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 4:59:05 UTC

Brittany Spears is now 33yo.........hmmm.
Meow......................
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704819 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 5:11:35 UTC

This song is also most appropriate.
It expresses a love than given, is not always returned.
And I can accept that.

But may nobody ever say I have never loved all of you.....

For I always have, even if in my own peculiar way.

"Although I'd may not always be the way you'd have me be............"
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704823 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 5:26:58 UTC

This cut is a couple of years old now.
Even in this cut, he is starting to show his age, which is now about 82yo.
He never aged much for the last forty or so, but age is now showing it's toll, I think.
I am gonna miss this old trouper so much when he leaves me.

There are some people that are just gonna slay me when they leave.

I had a rough time when Mary Travers passed. I had a rough time when Stevie Ray passed. Thankfully I cannot remember all of the others anymore.

I do hope that both Jett and Quattro outlive me. There would be some hard things to reconcile if either does not.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704832 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 6:05:00 UTC

This is quite a politically incorrect pounce.
I must add for comment that those of you who have closed minds and no sense of humor have little place in the kitties' litter box, so please don't PM me about how politically incorrect this is. I don't give a rat's petoot.

The sale of Manhattan..........
The plays on words and other things in play were NOT a simple skit.
This took eons of first thought and how am I gonna make these words work.
This was composed in about 1960. And the voice players were way over the top for a simple bit by Freeberg. So, freaking get over it.

This was humor in the '60s. And it was acceptable at the time.
It was a very large and expensive production.

He passed on at the age of 88 of natural causes.

I still miss him, and his sense of poking fun at things that should be prodded.

God rest ye, Stan.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704834 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 6:20:39 UTC

I really do not know where tomorrow shall lead me.
I get thingys that lead me in one direction and then some more that lead me in another.]


As I have posted before, it sometimes takes me where it may.

This is the best I can do to express it right now.

55 Ford.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704870 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 9:16:03 UTC
Last modified: 25 Jul 2015, 9:28:36 UTC

Just what am I to you?

I have posed this question before.

And I believe I have had no answers.

I crunch the hell out of the numbers, but...............

What am I to you?

Dark as I can be, far as you can see, just what am I to you?
When your skies all fall, as mine do at times, where do you go?
Who do you turn to?
What I believe is not the question. I am asking...........
What am I to you?
A spark? A simpleton?
Just the simple alky next door?
Just the random idiot that walks upon your life and insists on getting in?

I don't wish to intrude, much.
But I can and will as I am able to.

Just what am I to you?
Fastest shade of blue, I can, cannot you, posted truly true, but what am I to you?
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704873 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 9:40:05 UTC

Seems that I hit just a little too close to home for some folks to admit it.\
I get off kilter at times, but so do others here.

'If you smell Shirly Thompons breath, you'll find she's had a little nip of gin.'

Yeah, I'm not the only one that drinks around here.

And damned if the Seti mods are not a few of them./
\
Go figure.\\\

The freaking Harper Valley TPA..................
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704874 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 10:00:21 UTC

I must leave now......................for an undetermined time, and destination unknown.
This has been coming for a long time now, and I do not know when I might return.

Some cards have been played that cannot be taken back off of table.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704876 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 10:06:18 UTC

I have always loved you so much, and just where I went wrong, it pains me to understand.

I do love you all......................
I do.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704882 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 10:23:55 UTC

Kids...............
I am the rainbow. I am the light,k,.
I am the light of all lights.
I am the kitties.
When I took on that moniker years ago, it was for life.
On that fateful day, they overtook my very soul and life.
Nothing had been the same since.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704889 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 11:57:55 UTC - in response to Message 1704809.  

And when my stupid little brain chemicals all get lined up at times, I can see that very very clearly. And then at times, I cannot....the clouds come in and darkness sets in....


I understand. By the same token, there are also people who seem to have an over abundance of the good brain chemicals all lined up at attention, firing to beat the band, all the time. I think they may have a hard time understanding depression in others.
The mind is a weird and mysterious place
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Message 1704908 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 13:09:33 UTC

Yeah well, some of are so blessed and some of us are not.

My God put me here for a reason and with a curse. More than one, it seems.

Not mine to ask why, I just have to deal with it.
I praise the Lord every day that He blessed me with this life, and I am happy to deal with what He has dealt me.

Would not choose to have it any other way.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704911 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 13:19:55 UTC
Last modified: 25 Jul 2015, 13:21:26 UTC

I realize that sometimes I complain a bit to much, especially in the sight of some troubles that other bear.


Which goes to show the advice that John Prine offered holds true.

With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees..............yup.

Dear Abby........

Dear kitty, dear kitty, you have no complaint.
You are what you are, and you ain't what you ain't.
Signed, dear kitty.
Meow.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1704915 - Posted: 25 Jul 2015, 13:36:32 UTC

Ya know....
It seems that I rely on the hopes and dreams of the American society the I gre up in to live upon and relay to you all.

I contribute little to 'society'.
Other than the fact that I have been the most often banned moron on the most publicly possible place, Seti.


I am not sure moron would be the best term.
I could think of a few others that would result in another ban term.



I have friends and detractors. I also have crunched more for the project than few other souls on earth ever have.

While I know this means boot squ8at to many, it means a lot to ME.

Recent developments, although not paid out in hard caxh just yet, seem tio be going in the project's favor.
I have yet to see a hard money donation directly to Seti's coffers.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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