Message boards :
Cafe SETI :
The joke thread Part 4.
Message board moderation
Previous · 1 . . . 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 . . . 35 · Next
Author | Message |
---|---|
David S ![]() Send message Joined: 4 Oct 99 Posts: 18352 Credit: 27,761,924 RAC: 12 ![]() ![]() |
http://xkcd.com/1409/ But not their possessions. I guess you have to be a database wonk to think it's funny. David Sitting on my butt while others boldly go, Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri. |
John McLeod VII Send message Joined: 15 Jul 99 Posts: 24806 Credit: 790,712 RAC: 0 ![]() |
http://xkcd.com/1409/ Or just have spent enough time writing code for them, I suppose. I am not a database wonk (that would be Kenny over on the other side of the building), but I have written some SQL... ![]() ![]() BOINC WIKI |
David S ![]() Send message Joined: 4 Oct 99 Posts: 18352 Credit: 27,761,924 RAC: 12 ![]() ![]() |
An Emergency Call Center worker in London, England, has been sacked, much to the dismay of her colleagues who are reportedly unhappy with her dismissal. It seems a male caller dialed 999 from a mobile phone, stating, "I am depressed and lying here on a railway line. I am waiting for the train to come so that I can finally meet Allah." "Remain calm and stay on the line," was not considered to be an appropriate response... David Sitting on my butt while others boldly go, Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri. |
Sirius B ![]() ![]() Send message Joined: 26 Dec 00 Posts: 24922 Credit: 3,081,182 RAC: 7 ![]() |
ROFLMAO |
![]() ![]() ![]() Send message Joined: 9 Mar 07 Posts: 3371 Credit: 4,746,812 RAC: 1 ![]() |
http://xkcd.com/1409/ Thanks for the explanation. Now that I understand it, I still don't think it's funny. ~Sue~ ![]() |
John McLeod VII Send message Joined: 15 Jul 99 Posts: 24806 Credit: 790,712 RAC: 0 ![]() |
http://xkcd.com/1409/ A joke that has to be explained rarely is funny. Another one that SQL geeks think is funny is Little Bobby tables, whose full name is Robert'); DROP TABLE students; This full name is known to cause trouble with the computers at some school systems where, when entered, it drops the students table for the school... ![]() ![]() BOINC WIKI |
David S ![]() Send message Joined: 4 Oct 99 Posts: 18352 Credit: 27,761,924 RAC: 12 ![]() ![]() |
http://xkcd.com/1409/ It was what I figured it was and I didn't think it was funny either. Another one that SQL geeks think is funny is Little Bobby tables, whose full name is Robert'); DROP TABLE students; This full name is known to cause trouble with the computers at some school systems where, when entered, it drops the students table for the school... A few years ago, I got in trouble at work for emailing a cartoon with essentially that joke to one of our Technology Integration Specialists. David Sitting on my butt while others boldly go, Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri. |
John McLeod VII Send message Joined: 15 Jul 99 Posts: 24806 Credit: 790,712 RAC: 0 ![]() |
http://xkcd.com/1409/ That sounds like a really uptight organization. Some places read the posted Dilberts to see how they messed up... ![]() ![]() BOINC WIKI |
![]() ![]() Send message Joined: 30 Jul 00 Posts: 1887 Credit: 7,441,278 RAC: 49 ![]() ![]() |
Growing up in the South....... A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha. Onced and Twiced are words. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy! Jawl-P? means, Did you all go to the bathroom? People actually grow, eat and like okra. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do that. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?' You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em. Ya'll is singular. All ya'll is plural. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal. You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name) or Mr.(first name) You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. You know what a hissyfit is.. Fried catfish is the other white meat. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!! You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH |
![]() ![]() Send message Joined: 21 Nov 99 Posts: 26503 Credit: 28,583,098 RAC: 0 ![]() |
You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH Awwww, bless your heart! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
John McLeod VII Send message Joined: 15 Jul 99 Posts: 24806 Credit: 790,712 RAC: 0 ![]() |
The fortune of all possums is to end up in the middle of a road. Therefore, if you are lost in the South, find a possum, and follow it. Eventually, you will find a road. ![]() ![]() BOINC WIKI |
Luigi Naruszewicz ![]() Send message Joined: 19 Nov 99 Posts: 620 Credit: 23,910,372 RAC: 14 ![]() ![]() |
Ocean – ALL you Need to Know!! Children Writing About the Ocean…. 1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6) 2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) 3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7) 4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6) 5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8) 6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6) 7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle o make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7) 8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? like, really? (Helen, age 6) 9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6) 10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7) 11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6) (Mine too!!) 12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8) 13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7) 14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6) 15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. what he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7) . ![]() A person who makes no mistakes, creates nothing. |
![]() ![]() Send message Joined: 30 Aug 08 Posts: 15401 Credit: 7,423,413 RAC: 1 ![]() |
5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8) Oh LOL :) ![]() Member of the People Encouraging Niceness In Society club. ![]() |
Sirius B ![]() ![]() Send message Joined: 26 Dec 00 Posts: 24922 Credit: 3,081,182 RAC: 7 ![]() |
15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. what he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7) ROFLMAO Priceless |
![]() ![]() ![]() Send message Joined: 9 Mar 07 Posts: 3371 Credit: 4,746,812 RAC: 1 ![]() |
A joke from the TV show, Bones: Shroedinger is driving along and gets pulled over for speeding. The cop asks him, "What's in the trunk?" Shroedinger says, "A cat." The cop opens the trunk and says, "This cat's dead." Shroedinger says, "Well, it is now!" ~Sue~ ![]() |
![]() ![]() Send message Joined: 14 Oct 09 Posts: 14106 Credit: 655,366 RAC: 0 ![]() |
A joke from the TV show, Bones: Schrödinger was a special character:) So was Richard Feynman. Here is an anecdote of his. While in Kyoko I tried to learn Japanese with a vengeance. I worked much harder at it, and got to a point where I could go around in taxis and do things. I took lessons from a Japanese man every day for an hour. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Send message Joined: 9 Mar 07 Posts: 3371 Credit: 4,746,812 RAC: 1 ![]() |
A joke from the TV show, Bones: I'd probably quit, too, under those circumstances! ~Sue~ ![]() |
Jim Martin ![]() ![]() Send message Joined: 21 Jun 03 Posts: 2483 Credit: 646,848 RAC: 0 ![]() |
Three passengers on a smallish, twin-engine plane -- The Pope, Hillary Clinton, and a Boy Scout. The plane develops severe engine problems, and the pilot leaves the cabin and announces -- sorry, that he is -- that he'll be bailing out. Opening a side door, he does just that. He's shortly followed by the copilot, who says much the same thing, and bails out. Hillary grabs a parachute, and announces that, because she's the smartest woman in the world, she should save herself -- and bails out. The Pope turns to the Boy Scout, and says: "My son, you are young, and have your entire life ahead of you. Take the remaining parachute. The scout replies: "No need to worry, Holy Father. There are, actually, two parachutes remaining. That smartest woman in the world just bailed out with my back-pack." |
Luigi Naruszewicz ![]() Send message Joined: 19 Nov 99 Posts: 620 Credit: 23,910,372 RAC: 14 ![]() ![]() |
|
Luigi Naruszewicz ![]() Send message Joined: 19 Nov 99 Posts: 620 Credit: 23,910,372 RAC: 14 ![]() ![]() |
I found the neatest way to make my wife a more careful driver. I pointed out that if she's ever in an accident, The paper is going to print HER REAL AGE ! . ![]() A person who makes no mistakes, creates nothing. |
©2025 University of California
SETI@home and Astropulse are funded by grants from the National Science Foundation, NASA, and donations from SETI@home volunteers. AstroPulse is funded in part by the NSF through grant AST-0307956.