....

Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.

I always knew that one day they would come back home to "Mother"...
...well, it could be seen in the colours all the time....

---

The Kite Fliers

--------------------
Kite fliers: An imaginary club of solo members, those who don't yet
belong to a formal team so "fly their own kites" - as the saying goes.

Correction, were once a bunch of Germans but this German blood has been much
watered down over the years by English blood. Prince William has about 10%
German blood and his son George perhaps at most 2 to 3% German blood.

If William is 10% German, that would make George 5% German wouldn't it?

The last British Monarch to be born outside Britain was George II, ergo the royal family has been British since 1760.

That's naturally a good question to ask. Yet Mother 100% English, Father 90%
English and 10% German, how much German would any offspring posses?..,would
it be 5% or would this percentage actually be lower than that?

We could go by biomass. George received a few nanograms of chromosomes from William, and everything else from Kate. Thus making him around 5x10^-9% German.

That's solved it....nice work Simon.

---

The Kite Fliers

--------------------
Kite fliers: An imaginary club of solo members, those who don't yet
belong to a formal team so "fly their own kites" - as the saying goes.

Correction, were once a bunch of Germans but this German blood has been much
watered down over the years by English blood. Prince William has about 10%
German blood and his son George perhaps at most 2 to 3% German blood.

If William is 10% German, that would make George 5% German wouldn't it?

The last British Monarch to be born outside Britain was George II, ergo the royal family has been British since 1760.

That's naturally a good question to ask. Yet Mother 100% English, Father 90%
English and 10% German, how much German would any offspring posses?..,would
it be 5% or would this percentage actually be lower than that?

We could go by biomass. George received a few nanograms of chromosomes from William, and everything else from Kate. Thus making him around 5x10^-9% German.

---

Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

As per your request:

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable David cameron, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney,upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2015. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders, which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,you will go metric with immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine,with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen,Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or Gasoline, as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2014) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $11/US gallon- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.

---

Bob Smith
Member of Seti PIPPS (Pluto is a Planet Protest Society)
Somewhere in the (un)known Universe?

English/UK Citizens have Nothing To Do

Oh yes we do, we do some things that you lot could never do, and 10 times better, even if you could. This for example.

Baton Relay

You lot can't even run a government or your own country, so we'll take no lectures from you. Damn Colonials, getting stroppy because they have run out of powder for their flintlock pistols again ......

Yarrrrrr, you tell 'em Chris, If they can't sort their finances out then we
have just the two chaps, over here, we can send them who will....Blair & Brown!

---

The Kite Fliers

--------------------
Kite fliers: An imaginary club of solo members, those who don't yet
belong to a formal team so "fly their own kites" - as the saying goes.

English/UK Citizens have Nothing To Do

Oh yes we do, we do some things that you lot could never do, and 10 times better, even if you could. This for example.

Baton Relay

You lot can't even run a government or your own country, so we'll take no lectures from you. Damn Colonials, getting stroppy because they have run out of powder for their flintlock pistols again ......

That's naturally a good question to ask. Yet Mother 100% English, Father 90% English and 10% German, how much German would any offspring posses?..,would
it be 5% or would this percentage actually be lower than that?

Is "German Blood" a dominate gene or a regressive gene? Ask the author of Mein Kampf about "German Blood" Corruption of Blood works such wonders in the world. So much family dynamics.

---

Correction, were once a bunch of Germans but this German blood has been much
watered down over the years by English blood. Prince William has about 10%
German blood and his son George perhaps at most 2 to 3% German blood.

If William is 10% German, that would make George 5% German wouldn't it?

The last British Monarch to be born outside Britain was George II, ergo the royal family has been British since 1760.

That's naturally a good question to ask. Yet Mother 100% English, Father 90%
English and 10% German, how much German would any offspring posses?..,would
it be 5% or would this percentage actually be lower than that?

---

The Kite Fliers

--------------------
Kite fliers: An imaginary club of solo members, those who don't yet
belong to a formal team so "fly their own kites" - as the saying goes.

Correction, were once a bunch of Germans but this German blood has been much
watered down over the years by English blood. Prince William has about 10%
German blood and his son George perhaps at most 2 to 3% German blood.

If William is 10% German, that would make George 5% German wouldn't it?

The last British Monarch to be born outside Britain was George II, ergo the royal family has been British since 1760.

---

Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

Nope! There were links over the centuries but no, not the same "lot"

British Royals history

They are ALL the same family Chris.

Cousins marrying cousins. The current royals are a

bunch of germans

.

Look at the chart you posted. About half of them are French.

Correction, were once a bunch of Germans but this German blood has been much
watered down over the years by English blood. Prince William has about 10%
German blood and his son George perhaps at most 2 to 3% German blood.

---

The Kite Fliers

--------------------
Kite fliers: An imaginary club of solo members, those who don't yet
belong to a formal team so "fly their own kites" - as the saying goes.

Not bad for a 50 year school memory though. At least Battenberg was correct & so was Windsor.

No probs, most people mix up the two, because they both happened at the same time, and for the same reason.

So that's what the issue with Europe is ... Family dynamics!

Cheeky! The days when Kings, and some Queens rode into battle on a horse at the head of their armies are long gone. Politicians now run things on their behalf. It is them that cannot get on.

Not bad for a 50 year school memory though. At least Battenberg was correct & so was Windsor.

---

Nope! There were links over the centuries but no, not the same "lot"

British Royals history

They are ALL the same family Chris.

Cousins marrying cousins. The current royals are a bunch of germans.

Look at the chart you posted. About half of them are French.

So that's what the issue with Europe is ... Family dynamics!

---

Sorry Sirius it didn't. Most members of the Battenberg family residing in the United Kingdom, had renounced their German titles in 1917, due to rising anti-German sentiment among the British public during World War I, and changed their name to "Mountbatten", an anglicised version of Battenberg. The name Battenberg refers to the town Battenberg, Hesse.

Prince Louis of Battenberg (1854–1921), renounced his title in 1917 to become Marquess of Milford Haven — married Princess Victoria of Hesse and by Rhine, daughter of Louis IV, Grand Duke of Hesse and Alice of the United Kingdom

Princess Louise of Battenberg (1889–1965), renounced her title in 1917 to become Lady Louise Mountbatten, married the future Gustaf VI Adolf of Sweden in 1923

Prince George of Battenberg (1892–1938), renounced his title in 1917 to become Earl of Medina (later Marquess of Milford Haven)

Prince Louis of Battenberg (1900–1979), renounced his title in 1917 to become Lord Louis Mountbatten (later Earl Mountbatten of Burma)

Prince Alexander of Battenberg (1886–1960), renounced his title in 1917 to become Marquess of Carisbrooke

Prince Leopold of Battenberg (1889–1922), renounced his title in 1917 to become Lord Leopold Mountbatten

It was actually soon after the start of WW1. It changed from Battenburg to Windsor.

---

The current Britsh Royals come from the German House of Sax-Coburg-Gotha, and yes The House of Windsor came into being in 1917, when the name was adopted as the British Royal Family's official name by a proclamation of King George V. It remains the family name of the current Royal Family. So ES99 was correct in that part, I just didn't think there were so many French connections.

Europe links

didn't the british royals change their surname to sound more English and less German prior to WWI. Since the brits would appear to have a more difficult time following a family of Germans fighting the german nation

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In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face.
Diogenes Of Sinope

Nope! There were links over the centuries but no, not the same "lot"

British Royals history

They are ALL the same family Chris.

Cousins marrying cousins. The current royals are a bunch of germans.

Look at the chart you posted. About half of them are French.

---

Reality Internet Personality