"No, You weren't downloaded, You were born."

Customer: Your program won't print to my printer.
Tech Support: Is it plugged in?
Customer: Oh.
CLICK.

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BOINC WIKI

I'll never use floppy disks again! They are DANGEROUS!!!!

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Account frozen...

"Is it switched on?"
"Yes"
"Then please switch it off"
"OK... Oh, it's working now"

#

Been there, seen it, done it, earned the T shirt etc...

You wouldn't believe it possible would you.....

---

"none so blind as those who will not see" (John Heywood 1546)

Don't drink water, that stuff rusts pipes!


You are making Proof out of Logic, by just being dubious! {Bluestar to me)

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"Is it switched on?"
"Yes"
"Then please switch it off"
"OK... Oh, it's working now"

That one bought a tear to my eye buddy!

I liked that Richard.

Thank You.
Al

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Account frozen...

Nobody, that was really great.

Thanks!

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It's good to be back amongst friends and colleagues

Lovely one, Nobody.
I really enjoyed that. I will copy it and print. and hang it above my computer.

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Join Calm Chaos

The Old Phone

> > > > > When I was quite young, my father had
> > one of the first
> > > > > telephones in our neighborhood. I
> > remember the polished, old case
> > > fastened
> > > > > to the wall.
> > > > > The shiny receiver hung on the side of
> > the box.
> > > > > I was too little to reach the
> > telephone, but used to
> > > > > listen with fascination when my mother
> > talked to it.
> > > > > Then I discovered that somewhere
> > inside the wonderful
> > > > > device lived an amazing person. Her
> > name was "Information Please"
> > and
> > > > > there was nothing she did not know.
> > > > > Information Please could supply
> > anyone's number and the
> > > > > correct time. My personal experience
> > with the genie-in-a-bottle came
> > > one
> > > > > day
> > > > > while my mother was visiting a
> > neighbor.
> > > > > Amusing myself at the tool bench in
> > the basement, I
> > > > > whacked my finger with a hammer, the
> > pain was terrible, but there
> > > seemed
> > > > no
> > > > > point in crying because there was no
> > one home to give sympathy.
> > > > > I walked around the house sucking my
> > throbbing finger,
> > > > > finally arriving at the stairway. The
> > telephone! Quickly, I ran for
> > the
> > > > > footstool in the parlor and dragged it
> > to the landing. Climbing up, I
> > > > > unhooked the receiver and held it to my
> > ear. "Information, please"
> > > > > I said into the mouthpiece just above
> > my head. A click or
> > > > > two and a small clear voice spoke into
> > my ear. "Information." "I hurt
> > > > > my finger..." I wailed into the phone,
> > the tears came readily enough
> > > now
> > > > > that I had an audience.
> > > > > "Isn't your mother home?" came the
> > question.
> > > > > "Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.
> > > > > "Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.
> > > > > "No," I replied. "I hit my finger
> > with the hammer and it
> > > > > hurts."
> > > > > "Can you open the icebox?" she asked.
> > > > > I said I could.
> > > > > "Then chip off a little bit of ice
> > and hold it to your
> > > > > finger," said the voice.
> > > > > After that, I called "Information
> > Please" for
> > > > > everything. I asked her for help with
> > my geography, and she told me
> > > > > where Philadelphia was. She helped me
> > with my math. She told me
> > > > > my pet chipmunk that I had caught in
> > the park just the day before,
> > > would
> > > > > eat fruit and nuts.
> > > > > Then, there was the time Petey, our
> > pet canary, died. I
> > > > > called, "Information Please," and told
> > her the sad story. She
> > > > > listened, and then said things
> > grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I
> > > was
> > > > > not
> > > > > consoled.
> > > > > I asked her, "Why is it that birds
> > should sing so beautifully
> > > > > and bring joy to all families, only to
> > end up as a heap of feathers
> > > > > on the bottom of a cage?"
> > > > > She must have sensed my deep concern,
> > for she said
> > > > > quietly,"Paul always remember that
> > there are other worlds to sing
> > in."
> > > > > Somehow I felt better.
> > > > > Another day I was on the telephone,
> > "Information
> > > > > Please." "Information," said in the
> > now familiar voice.
> > > > > "How do I spell fix?" I asked.
> > > > > All this took place in a small town in
> > the Pacific
> > > > > Northwest.
> > > > > When I was nine years old, we moved
> > across the country to
> > > > > Boston.
> > > > > I missed my friend very much.
> > "Information Please"
> > > > > belonged in that old wooden box back
> > home and I somehow
> > > > > never thought of trying the shiny new
> > > > > phone that sat on the table in the
> > hall. As I grew into my
> > > > > teens, the memories of those childhood
> > conversations never really
> > left
> > > > > me.
> > > > > Often, in moments of doubt and
> > perplexity I would recall the serene
> > > > > sense of security
> > > > > I had then. I appreciated now how
> > patient, understanding,
> > > > > and kind she was to have spent her time
> > on a little boy..
> > > > > A few years later, on my way west to
> > college, my plane
> > > > > put down in Seattle. I had about a
> > half-hour or so between planes. I
> > > > > spent 15 minutes or so on the phone
> > with my sister, who lived
> > > > > there now.
> > > > > Then without thinking what I was
> > doing, I dialed my
> > > > > hometown operator and said,
> > "Information Please."
> > > > > Miraculously, I heard the small, clear
> > voice I knew so
> > > > > well.
> > > > > "Information."
> > > > > I hadn't planned this, but I heard
> > myself saying, "Could
> > > > > you please tell me how to spell fix?"
> > There was a long pause. Then
> > came
> > > > the
> > > > > soft spoken answer, "I guess your
> > finger must have healed by now."
> > > > > I laughed, "So it's really you," I
> > said. "I wonder if
> > > > > you have any idea how much you meant to
> > me during that time?"
> > > > > I wonder," she said, "if you know how
> > much your call
> > > > > meant to me. I never had any children
> > and I used to look forward to
> > > your
> > > > > calls."
> > > > > I told her how often I had thought of
> > her over the years
> > > > > and I asked if
> > > > > I could call her again when I came back
> > to visit my sister..
> > > > > "Please do," she said. "Just ask for
> > Sally."
> > > > > Three months later I was back in
> > Seattle. A different
> > > > > voice answered,
> > > > > "Information." I asked for Sally.
> > > > > "Are you a friend?" she said.
> > > > > "Yes, a very old friend," I answered.
> > > > > "I'm sorry to have to tell you this,"
> > she said. "Sally
> > > > > had been working part-time the last few
> > years because she was sick.
> > > > > She died five weeks ago."
> > > > > Before I could hang up she said, "Wait
> > a minute, did you
> > > > > say your name was Paul?"
> > > > > "Yes." I answered.
> > > > > "Well, Sally left a message for you.
> > She wrote it down
> > > > > in case you called. Let me read it to
> > you."
> > > > > The note said, "Tell him there are
> > other worlds to sing in.He'll know what I mean."

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression
you may make on others.

Whose life have you touched today?

Why not pass this on? I just did.... Lifting you on eagle's wings.

May you find the joy and peace you long for.

Life is a journey ... NOT a guided tour.

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Account frozen...

Where does all the backup go?

[Edit] spotted the backup potty - you sure that's big enough?

[edit again] shouldn't the backup be off-site in next door's closet?

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flaming balloons

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Account frozen...

TRUE; I once had to tell someone they had to at least have a phone line to go "ONLINE"!(In the OLD days)

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I Desire Peace and Justice, Jim Scott (Mod-Ret.)

Seen on a web page:

"This site best viewed in Netscape Explorer."

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

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Account frozen...

I've read the other day:

"If everything else fails, exchange the user!"

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Account frozen...

I got a call one day from a woman who wanted to delete a file and reclaim

some valuable hard disk space on her Macintosh.


Customer: "I've dragged the file to the desktop, and I still don't have the disk space."


Tech Support: "The file is still on your hard disk. You've got to click and drag it into the trash can."

Customer: "I still don't seem to have the disk space."


Tech Support: "You've got to click on 'Empty Trash', and that will permanently delete the file.

Then you'll have that disk space back."


Customer: "Permanently delete the file? But what if I need it?"

Customer: "My machine won't do anything."
Tech Support: "What's on the screen right now?"
Customer: "It's frozen, it's showing my Windows desktop."
Tech Support: "Try hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete, tell me what happens."
Customer: (taptaptap) "Nothing."
Tech Support: "Did you hit all of them at once?"
Customer: "Umm...just a second." (taptaptap) "I did that time. Nothing happened."
Tech Support: "Try it again."
Customer: (taptaptap) "No, it's just sitting there."
Tech Support: "Move the mouse around. What happens?"
Customer: "Nothing, the arrow doesn't move."
Tech Support: "Ok, last try, hit Ctrl-Alt-Delete again."
Customer: "Still nothing."
Tech Support: "Hit your numlock key. Does the light flash?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, you're going to have to shut your computer off. Just press the power button, wait for a couple of seconds, and turn it on again."
Customer: "I've heard that's bad for Windows."
Tech Support: "Um, well, you can't do anything else, right?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Well, you can't hurt it any worse then."
Customer: "But I've heard it's bad for Windows to just shut it off without shutting down first."
Tech Support: "Yes, but it's locked up. There's nothing else you can do."
Customer: "Will it hurt my Windows?"
Tech Support: "Probably no worse than it already was by locking up."

Customer: "Well...ok...but if it doesn't work, will you come over and fix it for me?"