Why not right click and save?

Hey! DB ... I gotta send that to a friend ... where do I get it?

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several
years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
Honey, she said, "You received a very strange post card today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife obeyed,
and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with
meatballs, one without."

LMAOROFWPIMP!!! 8-D

That's AWESOME!!!

8-D

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TimeLord04
Have TARDIS, will travel...
Come along K-9!
Join Calm Chaos

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several
years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
Honey, she said, "You received a very strange post card today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife obeyed,
and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with
meatballs, one without."

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Hey!

OK, but now that they ARE in there, the next, (and maybe better), question is how do they get out???

;-D

8-D

Answer-----one of them has to have an explosive orgasm. (badoom bing---*cheesy joke drum sound*)

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Founder of BOINC team Objectivists. Oh the humanity! Rational people crunching data!
I did NOT authorize this belly writing!

Hey!

OK, but now that they ARE in there, the next, (and maybe better), question is how do they get out???

;-D

8-D

---

TimeLord04
Have TARDIS, will travel...
Come along K-9!
Join Calm Chaos

Hey!

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Account frozen...

Of course you have all heard that the NTSB is loading pickup trucks with voice recorders to determine the possible causes of fatal accidents. In 49 of the 50 states the last words were "Oh shit" or something very similar 98% of the time. In the last state (which I will not name, as I don't need the hate mail) the last words were "Hey y'all, watch this!!" 97% of the time.

So, does that mean that the shallow end of the gene pool for the world is thinning out??? Doesn't this improve things for the rest of us??? LoL

;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D


8-D


LIVE LONG AND CRUNCH!

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TimeLord04
Have TARDIS, will travel...
Come along K-9!
Join Calm Chaos

Of course you have all heard that the NTSB is loading pickup trucks with voice recorders to determine the possible causes of fatal accidents. In 49 of the 50 states the last words were "Oh shit" or something very similar 98% of the time. In the last state (which I will not name, as I don't need the hate mail) the last words were "Hey y'all, watch this!!" 97% of the time.

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BOINC WIKI

You're An EXTREME Redneck when.....

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

And Finally: An East Tennessee couple, both real-live rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them why after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

It isn't "Hey guys watch this", it should be "Hey y'all watch this".

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BOINC WIKI

You're An EXTREME Redneck when.....

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

And Finally: An East Tennessee couple, both real-live rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them why after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

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me@rescam.org

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush in Texas.

Time to meditate.

That was relaxing.

Amazingly enough I wasnt affected.

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me@rescam.org

Time to meditate.

That was relaxing.

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PROUD TO BE TFFE!

Taking a well-earned break from the detective business, Sherlock Holmes and Watson were on a camping/hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky.

Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?"

"Well, I see thousands of stars."

"And what does that mean to you?"

"Well, I suppose it means that of all the planets and suns and moons in the universe, that we are truly the one most blessed with the reason to deduce theorems to make our way in this world of criminal enterprises and blind greed. It means that we are truly small in the eyes of God but struggle each day to be worthy of the senses and spirit we have been blessed with. And, I suppose, at the very least, in the meteorological sense, it means that it is most likely that we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?"

"To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."

Debra or Jack?

The Boss was in quandary. He had to fire somebody.

He had it narrowed down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision, they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hang-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.

The Boss approached her and said: " Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like shit."

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me@rescam.org

Be careful with that New Chair!

A Prank Caller may fool you into danger...

...and of course, your office Fan can't be trusted either.

Ice Scating seems so much fun, but is it really...?

With the failure of the federal government to vote in immigration reform the United States department of immigration brings you a new educational movie... Wetback Mountain

[..] I never want to live in a vegetative state [..]

Is that like living in Kansas? ;)

It sounds more like Arkansas...

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No matter where you go, there you are...