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I got the nickname Darth Vader when I was in the military. I like it. I earned it. It suits me. Especially when I am on a mission.
At times in my life I have accomplished lots and lots of stuff. Other times I haven't done sh**. Oh well. I'm kind of here to connect with other highly intelligent people, and kind of here to wonder about "Why Mankind is Stupid?"
There is no denying it. Only 2% of humans are something other than Stupid. The other 98% are the Living Embodiment of Human Stupidity.
Anyway, here is a story about me and the Aliens. Or is it the Aliens and I? The Aliens and me? Grammar confuses me.
I was recruited by NASA to function as Mankind's Ambassador to The Aliens. The Aliens, you see, want to speak to our philosophers. They insist that mankind prove their worthiness to survive and be transplanted to another unpolluted planet far far away by producing at least one philosopher capable of leading mankind into this New Era.
The Aliens value philosophy as the greatest achievement of the mind. They name their spaceships after their philosophers. They do this because the ability to practice philosophy cannot be synthesized into strands of proteins and passed on through chemical transfusion like other forms of knowledge. Philosophy, you see, requires consciousness. And consciousness requires personal character.
When you listen to them, they are no more philosophical than the average human. Their grammar is atrocious. Which I could overlook since English is not their first language.
When you speak to them, they are unwilling to engage in a dialogue. As if I must force my way into their minds and make them value what I am saying. Talk about a tough room.
They refuse to recognize the conventional philosophical methods of professional human philosophers. And have none of their own. They refuse to engage in the work of philosophy. A negation of the very task which they demanded I perform.
I informed them that their rhetoric constitutes mysticism. And before a meaningful dialogue can proceed, they must be willing to differentiate between philosophy and mysticism.
I invoked the Ancient Rite of Socratic Dialogue and refused to leave the room or allow them to leave until they recognized the validity of my claims or successfully proved me wrong. After all, the fate of mankind was at stake.
Their tactics remained unchanged. I then characterized their comments as "Hillbilly Logic" and demanded to speak with the licensing authority who authorized them to practice philosophy on behalf of their civilization. What did I have to lose.
I was tasered by Air Force Security and woke up in my home. Bastards.
So why do I do SETI when I have already met Aliens? Mostly I run Astropulse. I want to help discover a Black Hole in the vain and misguided hope I will be allowed to name it. I will name it after my EX_Mother-in-Law. She could suck the life out of anything. An entire Galactic Expanse would just get her warmed up. I think her soul is actually a portal to the Negative Zone. That alternate universe discovered by the Fantastic Four. Maybe I should put her in a box and ship her to Latvia so Dr Doom can experiment on her. All that negative energy should have some practical purpose. Don't you think?
hot4patrick@earthlink.net
Orlando FL
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