Posts by Graham Middleton


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1) Message boards : Cafe SETI : James' Puns O Fun 3 (Message 1505713)
Posted 10 hours ago by Profile Graham Middleton
Well, I guess that's about the sighs of it, then!
2) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1505533)
Posted 20 hours ago by Profile Graham Middleton
OK, I'll get in before someone else....

Bris?
3) Message boards : Cafe SETI : A bit difficult language, perhaps (Message 1501524)
Posted 10 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
A friend sent me this & I thought it might be appropriate here...




You think English is easy? I think a retired English teacher was bored.

THIS IS GREAT!

Read all the way to the end

This took a lot of work to put together!



1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
4) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1500250)
Posted 13 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
Ok, candorchasma is soo close, I'm giving it.



Very close celttooth, but not clocks so candorchasma got there first.



My Information says it is for placing and replacing jewels in watches.
5) Message boards : Cafe SETI : A bit difficult language, perhaps (Message 1500245)
Posted 13 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
I think I can sign in, sign out, sign on, sign off, sign for, sign away.

Can sign up, too. But can I sign down?



Only if you're deaf.
6) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1500136)
Posted 13 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
I think you could spend hours and hours with this tool.
7) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1500133)
Posted 13 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
Nothing to do with hair or film.
8) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1499797)
Posted 14 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
Does an electrician use it?

Not an electrician, but another skilled craftsman would.

Electronics, perhaps?

Or more of an artisan?


Not electronics, but some users of it could class themselves as artisans.
9) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1499771)
Posted 14 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
How big is it?



As far as I know about 8 inches long.
10) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1499770)
Posted 14 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
Wire crimper?

Doesn't look like any wire crimper or stripper I ever used.

Looks more like a medical instrument to me.



Not a Mediical instrument
11) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1499769)
Posted 14 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
Wire crimper?



Not a wire crimper
12) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1499768)
Posted 14 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
Does an electrician use it?


Not an electrician, but another skilled craftsman would.
13) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1499670)
Posted 14 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
Stapler - nope

Cutter of some sort - nope

the nearest so far, but not very near is Julie
14) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1499533)
Posted 15 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
Hi All,

Sorry for the delay in response, I've been rather busy today.


Celttooth, Not really tuneful.

Julie, I suppose it could be a described as a sort of clamp, but it has a very specific use.

N9JFE, nothing to do with pianos..



Now 24 hours and only 2 or 3 messages, so I'll wait another 24.
15) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Beet's Give Us A Caption #55 (Message 1498856)
Posted 16 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
How tribbles came about...
16) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1498855)
Posted 16 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
Hopefully, this will work, and no one has posted this one before

17) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1498838)
Posted 16 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
Thanks all, now I've got to find something...
18) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1498523)
Posted 16 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
A Nut cracker?
19) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Mysterious Miscellaneous Tool Time v3 (Message 1497904)
Posted 18 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
Is it for closing a bull's nose ring?
20) Message boards : Cafe SETI : Beet's Give Us A Caption #55 (Message 1497821)
Posted 18 days ago by Profile Graham Middleton
"Do you have any idea how long the guy's been in that outhouse? I GOTTA GO soon!!"


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