Bernie, I'm so very sorry :((

I am very sorry Bernie. You did a Herculean job of taking care of your father, and I know he appreciated everything you did.
Losing a family member is very difficult, as they are always a part of our lives. I am glad you had the chance to share so much time with your father, and that he was in his home when he passed.

Steve

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Warning, addicted to SETI crunching!
Crunching as a member of GPU Users Group.
GPUUG Website

It hurts me to hear this, Bernie. I am so sorry.

I had a feeling

Yes, I had one of those, too, the last few days of my mother's life, but like you, I was also very glad she was here at home with me when she passed.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Dear Bernie,
As you grieve your loss, know that we are remembering you,
and honoring the memory of your father,
My sincere sympathy,
Byron

It hurts me to hear this, Bernie. I am so sorry.

Not much more i can say.
I am so very sorry for your loss.

My deepest condolences.

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With each crime and every kindness we birth our future.

Bernie,
My deepest condolences :-(

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My condolences and thoughts for you, Bernie.
Now you both may rest.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

My condolences.

Bernie,

I'm so sorry to hear of this news. God bless, you are in my thoughts and prayers. My condolences on your loss.


TL

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TimeLord04
Have TARDIS, will travel...
Come along K-9!
Join Calm Chaos

My deepest condolences Bernie. :-(

Thank you all.

I appreciate your thoughts and wishes

It has been a strange day, from having a living room full of strangers at 4 am to a totally empty and strangely quiet house.

I went for a couple of walks today just to be active and watched the sunset, which I haven been able to do for a while.

Tomorrow the task of sorting out my fathers affairs will begin, I had hoped my sister would come over from the USA, but she has health problems that prevent her from flying so it will just be me.

My condolences to you Bernie on the loss of your Father.

I have been lurking in this topic on and off for some time now reading what you have done for your dad. Even if your dad did not always show it, he did appreciate all you did for him.

Godspeed.

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Wishing you peace. Sending our love.

Angela & Eric

Bernie, I'm sorry to hear that your father has passed on. My sincerest condolences to you and your sister.

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[/quote]

Old James

Has he made a will, do we know where to find it

Yes my sister and I have had copies for many years

The death has to be registered, and likely 4 official copies of the registration will be needed while there

As it was a sudden death without a doctor in attendance the police work for the coroner on the island.

I gave a detail statement to the police, and they commandeered the video footage from my IP camera to give to the coroner.

I have to wait for the coroner to contact me and tell me that the death has been ruled natural and he has informed the registry office.

This can take 2-3 days and I do not expect to hear til Monday.

I then phone them and make and appointment to offically reister it and collect as many copies of the certificate as needed, (around 10 it think will be necessary)

Appoint and organise the funeral service with the Undertakers.

Already in hand

Notice in local paper if requited (undertakers will do that)

Not required

Inform friends & family.

Obviously

Approach solicitors about getting probate and letters of administration

Apparently not necessary as the estate is small and only my sister and I are named in the will as a simple 50/50 split

We are both also executors

Tell banks, building societies, local Council , DHSS, DWP, DVLC etc of the passing
Any life Assurances (copies as above will be needed)
Any property insurances
Gas, water, electric, telecoms etc

Need death certificate

Membership past or present of Clubs and organisations

I will deal with them if and when the y communicate, I will be getting dad's mail forwarded to myself.

House agents to sell property (if required)
Do we need a copy of the certificate of death
Local memorial

None of the above required

My father made a request to keep expenses to a minimum as he knew he has a very small estate.

My condolences as well, Bernie.

I had to go through all the same steps for my mother a couple of years ago, and it's a daunting list - and like you, I had to do it on my own, and some way from my permanent home.

But I found that everyone I had to deal with was unfailingly helpful, and of course they had all done it all before - I was a first-timer. And they guided me through the process with the minimum of fuss.

I got more death certificates than, it turned out, I needed. Many places accepted copies (I scanned and printed them at home): those that wanted an original all took the details and returned the original within one or two days, so that it could be used again.

In my mother's county, multiple copies of the certificate are printed out on a standard office laser printer: only the signature had to be done by hand in the official ink. It didn't take long at all.

Many of the bodies you will have to deal with (banks, utilities, etc.) have specialist departments to handle bereavements, with dedicated phone lines: much quicker than the standard call centres. The telephone will be your friend for the next few days - ring them.

Where they still exist, local contact offices can deal with most things over the counter, and copy and return official documents. My mother's bank account was nominally held in yet a third part of the country, but the local branch could do everything necessary (including verifying signatures) online, and I didn't have to contact the remote branch at all.

Some of the official bodies - especially financial ones - will require you to confirm your own identity as well. Take the usual "photo ID and proof of address" with you when you visit - it'll save a separate trip.

And give yourself a break periodically. Nothing has to be done immediately - take your camera out for a walk before you tackle the next batch.

Sincere condolences to you and your sister. Sad news indeed.

I am trying to be helpful Bernie at a very difficult time, because I have been there myself fairly recently.

Perhaps, just perhaps, as my father just died in front of me a little over 24 hours previously, the last thing I wished to see in this thread is your cheerful list of things I will have to do!!

My head is not yet really ready to face up to a list like that yet, however there it was and drove me to answer.

Your total insensitivity about many things has upset others, please Chris not here.

Richard, I had been told by both the police and undertakers who came on Thursday that most places will be quick and sympathetic and don't be afraid to ask questions of anyone I deal with.

Also as I need the official OK from the coroner before I can get the death certificate, I was hoping it would not be before Monday, so I could get a few days break.

I have been here, apart from a few flying visits home for 11 months. Looking after my father was my full time job. In the last 4 months it became almost 24/7 and now suddenly there is nothing.

I went for my walk today and normally on these walks my mind was busy with what I needed to do that day for my father, what he might eat, ways to cope with his mental problems etc.

Today there was nothing, just the memory of those few minutes struggling to get my dad back into his chair, then phoning the ambulance, etched into my brain.

During the day my dads final enjoyment was watching the programs I had provided on the TV. Today the house was eerily silent, and empty. I have adjusting to do.

Thank you all again for your condolences and messages, it has helped me a lot to see them all here.

My most sincere condolences at this time to you and your family Bernie.

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Member of the People Encouraging Niceness In Society club.

My condolences Bernie. If there is something I can do, ask.

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